The next few hours passed in a blur and finally all of my hard work was lined up perfectly at just the angle the cameraman had suggested for the first shot. I stood where he told me to and looked where directed all the while trying not to fidget and rub off the makeup one of the women on their staff had insisted on covering my face with.
The guys helped me move the cars for the individual pictures and when it was all over, the cameraman suggested a picture with our entire group in the shot. I was happy to smile when Daughtry wrapped his arms around my waist and held me while we posed for the cameras. I knew that this was definitely a picture I’d cherish, most likely forever.
◆◆◆
“What the hell?” I muttered as I drove Daughtry’s truck up into my driveway. “Jill’s here.”
“Who’s Jill?” Daughtry asked just before he and I both got out of the truck.
“The boys’ mother,” I explained as I glanced over at him.
“Do what now?” Daughtry looked confused and I had to laugh.
Jill made it over to the truck just as I shut the door behind me. She did hug me, which I’d always thought was odd considering she didn’t do that with her sons. I introduced her to Daughtry with a smile and she fawned over him for a minute loving ‘that biker look’ of his. They exchanged the usual pleasantries before I let my curiosity take over.
“I didn’t realize you were coming this week. I thought you were in Florida for the next few months.”
“I was,” Jill smiled and tilted her head. “But I got some weird phone message from Adam and thought I should swing by.”
“Swing by? From Florida?” Daughtry asked her.
“Yeah,” Jill laughed. “I travel. A lot.”
“Is Adam talking to you about what’s wrong with him? Because he sure as hell isn’t talking to us.” I told her honestly.
“Adam wants to live with me,” Jill said bluntly.
“He… ,” I was stunned, then terrified, then angry. “What did you say to him?”
“I didn’t call him back. I wanted to talk to you first to make sure we were on the same page.”
“He’s not here - he’s at Eli’s and Josh and Heath went to their friend’s house for a few hours. We can talk now and then I’ll get the kids here to see you.”
The three of us walked into the house, and I got each of us bottled water before we sat down at the kitchen table to talk.
“I’m nervous as a cat, Jill,” I admitted. “What do you think about what Adam asked?”
“Honey,” Jill reached out and put her hand on my arm gently. “You know I’m not mother material. I’ve been honest about that from the start.”
“Why did you have kids then?” Daughtry blurted out. “Shit, I’m sorry. Not my fucking business. I can leave if you…”
“No, it’s not a secret,” Jill gave an embarrassed laugh. “At least not between Jamie and I. I didn’t want kids. I never did, never planned to, just never had the urge to have children. I wasn’t one of those little girls that played with baby dolls and begged to babysit the neighbors kids.”
“Wyatt tricked her,” I told Daughtry.
“Adam was an oops baby. I was 18 and invincible. I was on the pill, but I’d taken antibiotics for bronchitis and that lessened the effect of the pill. So, I married Wyatt and had Adam. After that, I took my birth control very seriously.” Jill was staring at her iced tea glass as she spun it on the table in front of her. She finally looked up at Daughtry and admitted something I’d never heard her say before, “I didn’t want Joshua or Heath at all. I hated every minute of my pregnancy, their births, everything. I didn’t want to hold them or feed them. Hell, I didn’t want to hear them cry. I had dealt with having Adam and actually fell in love with him the minute he was born, but I never felt anything really toward Joshua or Heath.”
“Damn,” Daughtry whispered.
“Wyatt swapped out my birth control pills for placebos that a friend found for him. He wanted three kids, so he made it happen, dragging me kicking and screaming with him.”
“What the hell?” Daughtry shook his head.
“Some women pray for a houseful of children, but I never wanted the three I got, so I left,” Jill shrugged. “Wyatt wanted a family and he got one. He just didn’t have the full-time sitter he imagined when he picked me to carry them.”
Jill gasped when she realized what she had just said and her eyes shot to mine.
“I know that’s what Wyatt had in me, Jill. I realized a few years ago that’s why he asked me to move in. He knew I wanted kids of my own someday and that I’d fall in love with his boys and treat them like my own,” I shrugged. “He just never planned on giving me the opportunity to have a baby of my own.”
“The best thing Wyatt ever did for his sons was give them you,” Jill smiled at me. “And now they’re all yours.”
“What are you going to say to Adam?”
“I don’t know, Jamie, but I’m not going to take him away from you no matter how much he thinks he wants to go.”
“What do I do?” I asked her. “I don’t know how to help him.”
“You’ll love him through whatever the fuck this is and stand by his side until he comes back to you.” Jill shrugged. “That’s what makes you a good mom.”
“You have to tell him this isn’t an option, Jill. If it comes from me, he’ll never give up the idea of living with you.”
“I’ll tell him. He’s 14 now and even though he’s not grown, he needs to hear the truth. I’m not his mother, honey - you are, in all the ways that count.”
“I should go,” Daughtry said as he scooted his chair back.
“No,” Jill shook her head. “I think you should stay. It’s obvious how Jamie feels about you and if she’s let you in, she plans on making you part of the boys’ life. That means the hard parts.”
Daughtry looked over at me and smiled, “What’s your opinion, babe? I’ll do what you want.”
“Stay,” I told him. I looked over at Jill and shook my head for a second before I told her, “He scares me, to be honest. He just goes crazy and doesn’t care what he says. I’m afraid that at any time, he’ll just lose it and hurt Josh or Heath. Or Neva.”
“Or you,” Jill finished for me. “Honey, I think this is more than just puberty or rebellion against all the changes in his life. My brother is bipolar and so was my mom. Did you know that?”
“No,” I told her, shocked that she’d never mentioned it.
“I suffer from depression,” Jill said as she watched my reaction. “I’ve been on medication for it since I was a teenager. I was about 12 when it got so bad my parents had to send me to an inpatient facility for a while to get me counseling and medication to help fight the disease. I still have times where it tries to swallow me whole. I’ve learned how to work through the rough patches with help. I am still on medication for my depression and I probably always will be.”
“Is your brother,” I swallowed and tried to find the right words. “Is he okay? Like does he have a good life?”