“I hurt you,” he murmured, moving around in front of me, lifting me up off my hands, naked but for the remains of his shredded shirt and suit jacket hanging off his shoulders. He leaned me back so I was sitting with my feet tucked behind me, my ass on my heels, as he took my face in his strong hands and stared into my face.
“No,” I whispered, because my voice had no power yet.
He searched my face, held my gaze, checking, trying to discern the lie.
“You didn’t hurt me,” I repeated, and then grinned at him. “You’ve never once hurt me.”
He looked like he was in pain. “What happened; why were you angry?”
“It upset me,” I confessed, tipping my head out of his hold but taking his hand so he’d know I wasn’t pulling away from him, just needing to move. “Something about being here, in this space that should be mine, and knowing there were others and––”
“Never again,” he said, bristling, his tone harsh. “You can’t think I would ever––”
“No,” I said softly, reaching for him, cupping his cheek. “But it was like I had to put my mark on you, in this place, now, so there could be no mistake.”
He turned his head, kissing my palm before he looked back at me. “You threatened me right after you had me, and you were walking away…”
“I wasn’t leaving,” I assured him. “You know that.”
“But I was not… all me,” he confessed, his eyes narrowing, not about to let any tears fall. “I saw your back, and I was between myself and the beast, and I don’t know why, because my control is—has always been—absolute.”
I leaned in and kissed him gently, and he caught my bottom lip, tenderly, between his teeth, so I gave him another kiss before deepening it, moving in close, wrapping my arms around him and ending the kiss as I hugged him.
He clutched me tight, shivering, and I turned my head and pressed my face to the side of his neck. We sat there for long minutes, just holding on.
“For me, like I said, I needed you to know that you’re mine. And I think for you, after I went all caveman on you, you had to answer the challenge, so at least you didn’t pee on me.”
He chuckled, and the sound was good, normal, all him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have manhandled you; that was wrong.”
“No, the taking what you wanted was hot as hell, and I was one hundred percent into that. No question.”
“Good,” I said, smiling at him.
“What I didn’t count on, though, was that when you turned around, as I said, I felt like you were leaving me, and I changed so fast. I felt the slip in my head, and I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t… it was all instinct and rage.”
“I scared you, and I’m sorry.”
“But it’s crazy, because you weren’t leaving, but I didn’t—I couldn’t even think. I had to claim my mate; nothing else was there at all. Only that rush, that drive.”
“Forgive me?” I asked him.
“There’s nothing to forgive; you tripping the tumblers on the lock in my head, that’s on me. I’m just scared that even if you said no, that I might have—”
“No,” I said quickly.
“You want to think that, that I would never hurt you, but how do you really know?”
“Because when you saved me from Niko, you were the wolf of Maedoc, just like you were a bit ago, but when I spoke to you, you heard me. And you changed back. Hadrian and Tiago and even Anar, later on, when he saw you that night, all of them were amazed that you came back so quickly and that you weren’t drained.”
He stared at me.
“Isn’t that right?”
“That is, actually,” he agreed, scowling but not at me, processing what I was telling him.
“I mean, just now, you were a beast, and now you’re not. That fast.”
“That fast,” he repeated, clearly awed. “That’s never happened before.”
“And why would that be?”
“It can only be you.”
“Exactly.”
He nodded his agreement.
“It’s so extraordinary that if you told anyone that you had me in your beast form, would they believe you?”
He was silent, thinking.
“Varic?” I pressed him.
“No,” he answered, sounding bewildered, unsure. “No, they really wouldn’t.”
“Because it’s never happened before.”
“Yes.”
“Then I think that you actually have amazing control, and that if I had turned to you and told you no, if I said, ‘Varic, stop,’ or if I said you were hurting me, at any time, then I truly, in my heart of hearts, believe that you would have stopped.”
It made sense, it was logical, and there was empirical evidence that I was right. We’d both actually seen it, his change, his return to his vampyr form for the express reason of communicating with me. We’d seen it after he saved me, and now he’d taken me in his wolf form but then changed back, again, to comfort me, to make certain he hadn’t hurt me.
“Here’s a secret that I think you intuitively knew in your wolf form,” I said, slipping my hand around the side of his neck. “Man or beast, it doesn’t matter, both belong to me.”
His exhale was slow, steady, as he held my gaze.
“I have power,” I told him. “My mark is on you and your wolf.”
“Yes, it is,” he agreed, and then kissed me with so much longing and love, I could actually feel it running through my veins, filling all the deep places inside of me that used to be uncertain or afraid, and knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this man was mine.
I kissed him back, tipping him over, leveraging him down onto the floor, covering his body with mine, loving the feel of all the muscles and sleek skin under me.
“Jason,” he rasped when I lifted up to stare down into his eyes. “If it wasn’t clear before, love… you can’t ever leave me.”
No, I couldn’t. Neither the man nor the beast would allow that.
“I hope you two are dressed!” I heard Tiago yell from somewhere, probably the stairs. “God help you if you are not!”
Varic pressed my face into his chest so Tiago couldn’t hear me laughing.
Four
I was drinking water, holding on to the counter so I didn’t fall down, and realizing quickly that there was no way I was going to make it without food. I hadn’t eaten anything, except for those few pastries from earlier, and I just had great sex, as well as opening a vein for the man I loved. I needed sustenance before my blood sugar dropped into dangerous territory. I didn’t want to say anything since Varic was anxious, as evidenced from the fidgeting with his suit and the three different ties that were put on only to be just as quickly taken off, so I stood clear of the growing storm and chugged water to try and hydrate.
The pacing that Hadrian was doing wasn’t helping the atmosphere in the room at all, and Tiago, on his phone, ranting and raving in loud, angry bursts of Italian, was almost more than I could take. I needed calm, I needed quiet, and more than anything, I needed to eat.