“Corbin!” Abe shouts as soon as he spots me, running for the car as fast as his legs will take him.
It’s a small mercy that Grandma and Grandpa haven’t taken me off the approved family list for him. They probably forgot.
“Hey, champ,” I say, reaching over to ruffle his hair as he puts his seat belt on.
I smile, looking at his face. I would do anything to make him happy, and I am. To keep him safe is my goal in life, one I’m actively working toward. I don’t think past it. I can only consider things for myself concerning Abe’s future.
“Want to go get some food?”
“Can we go to The Burger Shack?” His excitement is palpable, and I put my blinker on to pull out of the parking lot, headed toward his favorite place to eat.
“Yeah, we can,” I say.
Then, I listen to him talk about his classes and friends. His favorite subjects and favorite teachers. I’m happy he has his innocence still. That he hasn’t had to endure what I did. I don’t know why Grandpa doesn’t go after Abe, but I’m not complaining. He had been hitting me for a few years by the time I was seven.
I sit across from Abe, watching him eat the two cheeseburgers and large fries he ordered, chuckling when I remember how much I used to eat. Damn growth spurts. Grandma would always complain to Grandpa about them before they refused to spend their hard-earned money on more food for me because I thought I was hungry. I hope they aren’t refusing food for Abe.
“What do you like to eat at home?” I ask, wanting to see if Abe tells me anything that will have me gritting my teeth in anger.
He shrugs, putting another bite of burger in his mouth, tearing it off with an abrupt pull and then grinning at me.
“Whatever I can find, I guess,” he says around his food, and I nod.
“Do you have food at home?” I feel a stab in my gut because I didn’t check properly before I left.
“Yeah. I eat mostly grilled cheese when Grandma is there or something I can fix myself when she’s not.”
“Grandma fixes you grilled cheeses?”
“Yeah,” he says.
I sit back, stunned. I don’t remember her ever fixing me a grilled cheese. But I’m glad that they are taking better care of Abe. I still worry about him.
“But that’s only if I’ve been good.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I get in trouble at school, then she doesn’t fix me a grilled cheese.”
“What do you get when you are in trouble?”
“Nothing. That’s my punishment. So, I try not to get in trouble because I’m really hungry sometimes.”
The way he said it so nonchalantly makes me sick to my stomach. He shouldn’t have to deal with that. I don’t care how bad he’s been. He’s seven. He deserves to eat. He might have it better than I did, but he also deserves better than the hand he’s been dealt.
“Okay. I’ll take you to the store after this. We can put some things in your backpack. I want you to keep them in your room for those days.”
Abe nods and goes back to his burger. He kicks one leg while he looks around, and I watch him, memorizing his face while he doesn’t pay me any attention. I hate every day that I’m not there to protect him, but I know it’s for the best, me being at Almadale. It’s one of the most prestigious schools in the country. I’m guaranteed a spot in an Ivy League school. I can take Abe far away from here and get an education, make something of myself for him. Make a better life for us.
I can’t fuck this up.
The next day, classes start, and I’m up before the sun. I couldn’t sleep, lying awake, thinking of all the possible outcomes of what I was going to do. I don’t think getting closer to Landry is a good idea, but fuck me if my dick does. Now, I have to take things into my own hands—literally. I have fucking blue balls from yesterday.
Making sure Brock and Bodhi are still asleep, I shut the bathroom door, turning on the shower and climbing in. The hot water cascading down my body feels amazing and brings to mind Landry’s soaked body, climbing from the water in her tiny shorts and an oversized T-shirt. I don’t know how I got so lucky that she’d slept in a white shirt that night, but in the light of the moon, it didn’t leave a lot to my imagination on the top. I didn’t let my eyes linger too long, but I took a mental snapshot for a moment like right now.
I don’t know what it is about something hidden, like her hard nipples behind the fabric. I know what they look like. I saw them puckered in the cool air of her dorm room. But my mind wants to focus on the erotic sight of her in that damn wet T-shirt.
I grip my hardening length in my hand, stroking it once, twice, up and down, twisting the head as I play that moment over and over again in my mind. What I wouldn’t give to go back and put my mouth right over that dark bud, suck it through the material. The sensation driving her crazy but without me ever fully touching her actual heated flesh.
My hand moves faster as I imagine her arching her back, giving in to me as I grip her hair, pulling her head back and nipping her neck. My breathing grows labored, and my hips jut forward.
Fuck.
Just thinking about her like this is enough to kill me, and I’ve had a taste of her. To be inside her will send me over an edge I’ll never come back from. I’ve never had these thoughts about a girl, been completely consumed by one before. But I’m fucked now. I know that I’ll take the guys up on their offer. My head knows what an absolute disaster of an idea it is, but my fucking dick can’t say no.
I lean over, gripping the wall of the shower with my hand as I pump faster. Chest heaving, I feel my balls tighten. I come with a groan, the release relieving me and then creating more tension inside me. I can’t even fucking come without her in my mind. I shouldn’t allow this, but I’m a slave to my thoughts now.
I quickly wash up and towel off, wrapping it around my middle. Then, I step out into the room again.
“Have a nice wank?” Bodhi says in an awful British accent.
I roll my eyes. I pull the towel from around my waist, roll it up, and snap it at him as he lets out a high-pitched screech and jerks his body to the side.
“You ass.” He holds his leg where I popped him with the end of the towel. “Put your dick away. No one wants to see that.”
“Don’t look at it,” I say back, rifling through my closet for some boxer briefs to put on.
“Kinda hard when you have a semi-chub and you are naked.”
“Get dressed. We don’t have much time,” I say, checking my phone for the time and seeing that we have to be in the chapel in thirty minutes.
“We don’t have to be on time,” Brock says, yawning as he lies in bed, texting someone on his phone.
“Maybe you fuckers don’t, but I’m here on scholarship.”
“Yeah, that our dad pays,” Bodhi says, and I still.
Brock sits up slightly and narrows his eyes at Bodhi. “Shut the hell up, man. You know Dad doesn’t want that shit out there.”
“Chester pays for the scholarship students?” I ask, making sure I heard him right.
After all this time … ensuring I never take too much from them. Making lists of what I owe, so I can pay it back as soon as I’m on my feet. Then, they drop this bomb. I don’t want to owe anyone anything if I don’t have to. I was under the impression that it was a group effort, that alum pooled money for scholarship students, but this … this makes more sense.