All the while, I inched backwards in the direction I was hoping was the exit.
“I told you, you have to be careful, Bean.”
“Bean?” I could hear Jason asking.
“And I will be, I promise. But this is not your problem. And I really do have to go,” I was nearly at the door.
“I can help you, and I can protect you.”
“There’s no need,” I was quick to say. “Really.”
“I don’t think you know just how much trouble you’re in.”
“I think I do.”
“No, you don’t. And the best thing is to stay here.”
"This is not your problem, Max!” I started yelling at some point.
It was funny that I was yelling at a man that I met just a few hours before, wasn’t scared of him even if he obviously did have a tendency to kidnap people and was sporting a scowl on his face.
I would never do that in front of Nico. If this were Nico, I would be either in tears or phoning my doctor by now.
“Listen, give me a few days and I’ll-,”
“No, you listen. I have to go. I can’t ask you to get yourself tangled up in the mess that’s my life. Sure, others made it, but I’m the one who just stood by and let them do it. And I did it for years, Max. You were right with what you said before. I would turn a blind eye to everything. I would let them rule me just to belong to someone. But it has to end. And I’m the one who needs to end it!”
I was breathing heavily by the time I finished my little speech. I was so out of it, so focused on the fact I needed to get out, that I didn’t realize that I let more information on just how pathetic I was, slip out.
“Okay, Bean. But if you need me, you got my number,” he was talking softly, and that soft was coupled with the same kind of look.
And that was the softest blow my heart ever got. It warmed me from the center of me right to my very fingertips. At that moment I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t want to go because, for the first time in my life, I asked for something, hell I demanded something, and I got it without hesitation. And he got me out of a bad situation that day.
Twice.
I had a lot to be grateful for. Still. I couldn’t stay. I nodded, turned on my heel, and walked right out to the car. When Melanie got behind the wheel, I was grateful she was quiet. While I watched Max standing on the road, watching our car drive away, I was grateful she took my hand. When she heard me sniff, I was grateful she squeezed it. She drove us in silence, and I cried the whole way with my friend giving me unconditional support, I was grateful for that too.
Chapter Six
Max
I couldn't believe I was back. Sure, I did question my decision, even if it was a reflex to what went down on that last mission. I even toyed with the idea of going back to active duty. I was scared that I would need that adrenaline rush the job gave me.
Judging by the feeling that crept over me as I entered my old squad room, signing those papers was the right call. Besides, I just got a new house to flip, and it took all of my attention. When I first started flipping houses three years ago, it was so I could have something to do and not think about what my brothers did for a living or how Rory would find her footing. Then over time, I got used to the danger that our jobs gave all of us Ryan men, and we figured out a way to keep a constant eye on our baby sister.
Thank fuck that we all had our badges, and the officers found it hilarious that they had three members of various law enforcement branches in their cell at least once a week. Eventually, flipping homes was more about creating a nest egg for the future. With time, each tense situation started to chip away at me, and restoring homes became a form of therapy. Over the last few months, the thought of returning my badge for a life of retirement became more appealing by the day.
After sixteen years of watching people get themselves involved in fucked up situations, I grew tired of the monotony. When it comes to failed relationships, I was the king. It takes a particular type of woman to accept the danger my line of work brought, and unfortunately, many couldn’t handle it.
I also knew Carter was reaching his limit and was toying with the idea of putting up his walls. If I needed that adrenaline kick, I could always go to him. So, fuck yeah, I was okay with my decision. Now, telling my co-workers was another story. I took the coward's way out and decided to wait until the mandatory leave was over and have our captain tell them. Well, that was out of the picture now.
"Yo! Max, my man," Brody was the first to spot me.
He was constantly shadowing either Stone or me. It was like the kid was imprinted on the two of us or something.
"Kid," I extended my hand towards him, palm to the side, and he didn't disappoint. The slap of his palm hit mine, and then his body hit mine too. "How've you been?"
He stepped away, and a giant smile was all I could see. Fuck, I missed smiling like that. Nowadays, not even messing with Rory did that for me.
"I made the cut!" Brody yelled, letting my hand go and spreading his arms wide. "I'm officially part of the team."
Upon closer inspection, I saw that he was in uniform. A uniform that consisted of black laced up boots, black cargo pants and a black T-shirt with our insignia stitched on the right side of his chest. The same uniform that also had a black helmet, a black bulletproof vest, and a rifle. I couldn’t tell which feeling was more prominent. The fear that this kid, the kid I watched grow and mature, was going out on the streets, keeping them safe and running in uncertain situations without a second thought. The same conditions that could mean he wouldn’t walk back out. Or pride that he proved himself, as he said he would, as I had no doubt in my mind he would and got his badge. I went with pride. I knew how much it meant, and I still remember the sense of accomplishment of getting that shield after busting your ass to make it. I reached toward him and pulled him close by the back of his neck, not losing his eyes.
"Congratulations, kid, you deserve it. You busted your ass trying to make it. But you should know, you were always a part of the team."
"Thank you, Max," Brody swallowed hard a couple of times, and I gave him time to collect himself.
I could still taste the feeling when I made it into the team. Brody had come a long way. The sight of the punk kid that was brought in handcuffs to our squad team was still vivid in my memory. He was scared out of his mind, a skinny kid who was all elbows and no muscles but full of anger; he didn’t have a clue how to work it out of his system. He got a five-year stint for some hacking shit he pulled, but the DA got a soft spot for the kids, especially ones that had a history like Brody’s and offered him something he called an internship and what we all called a babysitting duty. The DA’s decision was a good one. Brody proved himself to be more than a useful addition. It didn't take long before he started working out with the rest of the team, and then one day, he came asking how he could become one of the team. It took him three years. But he did it. He became a full member of S.W.A.T.