No, thanks.
He finishes his song and hangs up his headphones.
I end the recording and lean back in my seat, watching as he stalks through the door and toward me. “Dunno if that was the take,” I say. “Felt like you were rushing it.”
“We’ll redo it later.” He doesn’t stop moving toward me.
Mischievous brown eyes lock on mine, but for some reason, all I can see are hazel ones.
I see blond hair in a man bun instead of Cash’s long brown locks.
I shake away the image of the cute guy I met a few days ago. It was weird how that whole day transpired.
What’s even weirder is that I can’t stop thinking about him. I keep replaying his offer to be Kaylee’s nanny and how he could take her to playgroups and give her the attention she needs.
I have this strong gut instinct to hire him, but I’m not completely sure it’s coming from my gut. I think it could be coming from lower than that.
As if answering me, my dick twitches, and it has nothing to do with the rock star in front of me basically offering himself as a sex toy.
“Ry?” Cash asks, and I blink out of the inner argument I’ve been having with myself for days.
“Sorry, spaced for a second.”
“Should I be offended?”
“I’m a bit distracted. Kid stuff.” I wave him off.
“You know what’s good for getting your mind off kid stuff?”
I roll my eyes. “Let me guess. Having sex with you again?”
“See.” He waves his finger between us. “Same page. It’s like, fate.”
“Keep telling yourself that. It shouldn’t have happened the first time. It’s not going to happen again.”
Cash presses his lips together. “This is … weird.”
I laugh hard. “You really don’t know how to handle rejection, do you?”
“I really don’t!” He laughs.
“Look, I like you, and we’re friends, but I don’t date. It’s that simple.”
“This is sex, not dating. I don’t date either.” He shudders.
“I don’t need sex that bad.”
“Okay, now I’m offended.”
I laugh. “No, you’re not.”
“Okay, no, I’m not. It’s just, you can’t get the opportunity for release too often with the kid being home and the world thinking you’re straight. I’m offering no strings attached, and you’re looking at me like I’m offering a plate of your least favorite dessert. You’ll eat it once but pass on it the next time.”
I don’t know how to explain to Cash that my priorities the last few years have all revolved around one little girl, and that everything—including sex—isn’t important in the broader scheme of things.
If it were to get out that I was having sex with Cash Kingsley, out and proud artist, Kaylee’s life would be turned upside down.
“When you’re a parent, you’ll understand.”
“Eww. No kids for me. Ever.” He still looks disgusted at the suggestion. “But hypothetically, if in some alternate universe where I did have a kid, I don’t understand why that means you can’t have fun when she’s not here.”
I lean forward in my seat. “Okay, maybe I’ll put it another way. What’s your earliest memory? How old were you?”
He thinks about it. “Maybe four or five? I guess. I remember the old house we used to live in before my dad took off and it became just me and Mom.”
Wow, okay, I didn’t expect him to share that much, but it does prove my point. “Know how old my daughter is? She’s almost five. I don’t want her first memory to be strange men in her face asking if the rumors about her dad’s sexuality are true. I don’t want them telling her she’s adopted or a test tube baby or any of those other stupid rumors out there. She already calls them the bad men with cameras. You remember your dad leaving. Imagine the kind of mental toll it would’ve taken if paparazzi were there taking photos of that moment and asking you about it. I need to keep her out of that life as much as possible. Even if it means I don’t get a social life.”
Cash frowns. “Okay, but you’ve hidden your sexuality from the public forever without it getting out. I don’t know why a kid changes anything.”
“Because before, the only person coming out could hurt was me. It’s not worth the risk.”
“Are you saying you don’t trust me to keep it between us?”
“It’s not that exactly. It’s …” I don’t know how to explain it. “Okay, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually learned something from all those ‘God is great’ schools I went to as a child. You know how they’re all about ‘the only form of safe sex is abstinence’? Same motto. I don’t have to worry about anything getting out if there’s nothing there.”
Cash opens his mouth to say something when my phone starts vibrating on the table next to me.
“Shit, it’s Kaylee’s school.”
I give him an apologetic stare as I answer the phone, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thankful for the opportunity to get out of this conversation. “Hello?”
“Hi, Mr. Kennedy. It’s Tiffany from Vista Point.” Her voice is the annoying, cringy type of bubbly. No one is that naturally happy. It’s impossible.
“Is Kaylee okay?”
“Oh, well, we had a little incident.” She’s still bubbly. Like, so sorry, sir, your daughter is in the hospital, but look on the bright side, she’s not dead yet. Yay.
“What type of accident?” I growl into the phone.
Fuck this school.
“Another … biting incident. Though, this time she’s asking for you.”
“I’m on my way to pick her up.” I hit End before she can tell me in her bubbly way that she’ll see me soon.
She should be apologizing for not providing adequate care to my child.
“Rain check?” Cash asks.
“Sorry.” I stand and shove my phone into my pocket.
“All good. When can we rework the song?” he asks.
“I was lying. You nailed it. We can move on to another song during your next session.”
Instead of getting pissed for giving him shit, he laughs as he grabs his jacket and we walk out together.
Cash climbs onto his Vulcan motorcycle parked in my driveway and reaches for his helmet.
I eye the sexy bike but can’t help asking, “Does the label know you ride around on that thing?”
“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
“If you die because a semi flattens you, they’ll hurt lots.”
“Nah, they’ll love it. Imagine my album sales if I die.”
I cock my head. “I guess that’s a positive way of looking at death?”
“It’s not like I have anyone who’ll miss me.”
His sad confession hangs in the air, and I feel like I should say something.
As if sensing my concern, Cash dismisses it. “I mean, I have no responsibility like you do with your kid. I realize that might’ve come out more emo and depressing than I intended it.”