"She's... still here," he manages.
"Because you won't let go," I remind him. "None of you will - not Father, not any of your friends. You're all so fucking obsessed with her. Just deal with it. She's dead!"
"She's not!" He punches the wall then, right next to my face, making me jump back in fear. "She's not dead, Pandora."
"W-What?" My eyes widen. "What do you mean?"
He hesitates, but then his gaze meets mine. "She's not dead."
"How do you know? Where else would she be if she wasn't dead?"
"She's here." His voice breaks again.
"You're fucking delusional, Dex," I tell him. "You're so obsessed with her, you've convinced yourself she's still here... It's sick. Fucking sick."
I walk past him into the closet and start stuffing my clothes into an overnight bag, feeling pissed off. Dex looks defeated. Broken. I've never seen him like this.
"You're leaving for real?" he asks, and I just glare at him. “I don’t think you should.”
"You don’t think I should?” I ask, daring him to ask me to stay.
“No, I don’t,” he hisses. “I think you should stay here, where your place is. Don’t fucking leave.”
His words cut deep. I hesitate, but then I shake my head, more certain than ever. "I have to, Dex. You're obsessed. I can't be with a man who's constantly thinking about someone else."
I finish packing, get dressed and stroll past him without another word. I walk outside, waiting in the driveway while Dex lingers in the hallway, watching me.
"Are you going to Easton's?" he finally asks.
"No," I snarl.
"Who then?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because you're fucking mine." The words come out in a snarl.
"I'm not," I say. "Not until you admit she's gone. Can you do that for me, Dex?"
His silent stare says it all, and I shake my head in disbelief just as the limo pulls up into the Booth driveway. "Goodbye, Dexter."
He watches silently as I get into the car. The windows are tinted, so I tell myself he won't see me watching him. I don't take my eyes off him until he's gone.
"It's going to be okay." A hand finds mine. I look up into Lai's eyes, smiling weakly.
"Thanks for letting me stay with you," I whisper. "I didn't know who else to call."
"It's okay." We sit there in companionable silence. "Do you love him, Pandora?"
I struggle with my answer, not because I don't know the truth, but because I don't want to admit it. When I do, everyone will know for sure. And I'll be the weak one again. The one with no power.
"Sometimes," I finally whisper.
"It's okay," he says again, his hand patting mine. "Sometimes, I love him, too."
My eyes snap to his. "Really?"
"Really." He laughs nervously. "Not that he'd ever... you know."
"Why did you agree to help me?" I whisper. "You never wanted to before. Do you feel sorry for me?"
"No, Pandora." He smiles, but there's sadness in the expression. "I'm just an idiot caught in an epic love story that has no room for me."
His words cut deep, and I think about them while we drive.
"Where are we even going? I don't know where you live..."
"You'll see soon enough," he replies with a smile. "You'll find out everything."
"It seems like it's never everything," I mutter. "This town has too many secrets."
He smiles just as the car starts moving up a winding driveway. We reach the house then, one I never knew of, another beautiful Gothic mansion illuminated by perfectly placed spotlights. It's like a scene out of a movie.
"This is where you live?" I ask. "It's amazing."
"There's a lot you don't know about me," he replies. "Come on, let's go inside. I want you to meet my brother."
I allow him to open the door and lead me up to the house. I feel shabby in my thrown together outfit, especially when the maids give me questionable glances as they scurry past us.
"You're safe here," Lai reassures me. "Stay as long as you want."
"Thank you." We stand in the hallway, his hand lingering on mine, our eyes locked in a silent dance. I have so many questions, but I'm too afraid to ask. Lai gives me butterflies. Lai makes me feel safe. And yet I'm so afraid of him. Not like Dexter. Dexter hurts me because he knows I love it. Lai... Lai hurts me because I hurt him.
But for the time being, he's an ally. And I need to keep it that way.
"Come on," he says, offering me his arm. "I have a lot to tell you."
I smile, accepting his offer and allowing him to lead me down the hallway.
I tell myself everything is going to be okay and I don't need Dexter Booth at all, not with Lai around.
But I don't believe my own lies.
I know I'll go back to him.
I just hope I'll be Dex's final choice. But if it's between me and Lily Anna... it's always going to be a losing game, because I'll never measure up to the perfect, beautiful girl who came before me.
17
Dexter
Pandora Oakes has left me a mess. I miss her. I don't want to admit it, but I feel alone. Lonely. Ready to call her and demand she come back, right the fuck now. But I have other problems I need to deal with. Namely a very pretty prisoner I need to set free.
I contemplate my next step for days. I need to be careful, calm and collected when I deliver the news. I have a feeling Lily Anna won't react well, but I don't have a choice. I'm more determined than ever to get out of this town, to escape with Pandora in tow. The only person standing in my way is the girl locked in my house.
I knock on the door to tell her I'm coming, then unlock it and walk inside. She's sitting on her mattress, her eyes lighting up when she sees me. She picks herself up with barely held back excitement and I hate myself for what I'm about to do to her. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't even know what's coming...
"Hi," I say gruffly.
"Hello." She's careful, apprehensive, and she should be. "Everything okay? It's not dinner time yet..."
I sit down cross-legged on the hardwood floor. She sits next to me, crawling closer on all fours. I can't even look at her, can't risk Lily Anna seeing the truth in my eyes.
"What's wrong?" She knows already. She knows something's off, and I'm about to destroy her.
"I'm thinking about leaving town." I deliver the words with finality, but I know full well she'll fight back.
"Oh?" Her brows shoot up. "Where are we going?"
"Not we, Lily Anna." I groan, running my fingers through my hair. "Just me."
"What about me?"
"You'll be free." This time, I finally meet her eyes, expecting her to be thrilled since I'm finally giving her what she's been asking for all along. "Isn't that what you wanted, Lily Anna?"