“Does it matter?” Ana asked.
“Yes, it does.” Ryden said irritably. “I don’t want rumors spreading that I, a Redcrest duke, casually visits members of House Sterling. It will cause problems.”
“You say that as though it’s not true, like gossip to be discarded.”
“I never said that.”
“Then why even bother argue about it. If you don’t want such rumors to spread, then don’t do it.”
Ryden growled again. “We talked about your tone with me, Ana.”
Ana said, leaning forward and seeking out his eyes in the darkness, “I will treat you with the utmost respect that any Omega can give an Alpha, Ryden. I will be the perfect Omega and honor you for the rest of my life. But not if you lie to me. There is never any reason for an Alpha to lie to his Omega, is there?”
In the darkness, the tension in Ryden’s body relaxed. “No,” he said. “That is not the kind of relationship I wish to have.”
“Then explain it to me. Are we at odds with Sterling, or not?”
“We are,” Ryden said, his voice low. “I was visiting the houses to find a solution to our outlaw problem, and it made sense to visit House Sterling to see if there was a possibility of us coming to some kind of truce. Obviously it didn’t work. Sterling is extremely aggressive in the way they deal with every other house. Leoma just happened to be there and Heloise invited me to visit with her. I think she thought she could use her to distract me so I would tell her what we were planning.”
Ana pressed her lips together. That sounded like Heloise.
“I didn’t mean to be defensive about it,” he added. “I was just unprepared for your question. A lot of effort was made to ensure no one was aware of the meeting, beyond me and the person I met with. Unless Heloise told you, there is a security issue.”
Ana sighed. “No, it was Leoma who told me. I don’t think she realized she wasn’t supposed to talk about it. She was excited to meet you.”
“I’ll send a message to ensure she knows not to talk about it. It was during quiet visits like that that I formed the alliance with Goldfrost and Thorneshaw. If everyone talked about them, we wouldn’t have an alliance.”
Ana nodded and leaned back against the carriage wall, the gentle jolting of its movement along the road rocking her. Secrets upon secrets. This was clearly the way of life as a royal, but she didn’t like it, especially if it caused her to question her true mate. Maybe it was a silly thing to think, another remnant from the innocence that she had been steeped into for so long, but she had never seen any such deception between her parents. All she wanted was what they had. Granted, she didn’t see them every single moment of every single day, but she’d been witness to their relationship her whole life, even during some of their private talks. She knew they had disagreements, but never any arguments or suspicions that would cause them to pull away from each other. She wondered if, at the beginning of their relationship, they had had any experiences like what she was having with Ryden. It would be helpful to ask them, but even if she could, she wouldn’t know if they were telling her the truth. There was something strange about the way they lied about the Alpha and Omega stories. If the Atara in the books was not her mother, why would she be so keen to hide them?
Ana hadn’t taken the time to fully think about it because so much had happened. And now she had left her home, Milly, her library, and all of her favorite books, including the Alpha and Omega stories that she only just discovered and had been looking forward to reading. Maybe they would give her answers about her lack of feeling for Ryden.
“Is there a way to collect anything from the palace?” she asked Ryden.
“Such as clothes?”
“No, belongings. I need some books from the library.”
Ryden shook his head. “If it’s an emergency, we will find a way to get it for you, but books can wait. After our wedding you will be moving back to the palace at some point, so you may not need to take them at all.”
“What about Milly?”
Ryden frowned. “Who is that?”
“My lady-in-waiting.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ana, but we can’t use your father’s staff. You can select a new lady-in-waiting as soon as things are settled.”
Ana bit back the words she wanted to say, trying to ignore his implication that Milly was untrustworthy. Milly was the only one who’d been honest with her, and if she truly couldn’t have Milly as her lady-in-waiting anymore, what would happen to her? Her status had already lowered from the death of her husband; her high-status job at the palace was the only thing keeping her afloat. Ana had said she would do whatever she could to help her, but now she couldn’t.
But Ryden’s words did highlight a fact she couldn’t ignore; the palace was no longer her home, and no matter how much she might think of it as such, she would never be stepping back into it with the same status she had when she left.
Ana had always thought she would embrace change. Less than a week ago she had been looking forward to marriage and all the challenges and changes it would bring. But now the thought left her with a sick feeling in her stomach, and she couldn’t pinpoint the reasons why. Her head had an understanding of how things were supposed to be, but her heart and her body had different ideas that conflicted with everything else, especially after her experiences with Maddoc. She would simply have to go to the library when she returned to find out what was wrong with her feelings for her mate.
For a moment she considered asking Ryden directly, but how would anyone start that kind of conversation? She would be effectively telling him that he wasn’t as attractive to her as Maddoc, since the outlaw was her only comparison.
Ana gritted her teeth as she looked at the window, annoyed at how much Maddoc was still affecting her. She wished she’d never seen him or knew about him, but the memory of him entering the room, his overbearing smugness, and the way in which he handled her body and slipped inside her, telling her how hard she made him, caused such a deep tingle in her stomach that spread along her body until her aching nipples tingled yet again and she was wet between her legs.
“I hope you don’t mind, but your wedding dress has been picked for you,” Ryden said. “It should be at the mansion when we get back.”
Ana nodded, keeping her face toward the window to avoid looking at him, as the shame of her instant arousal for the man she hated made tears come to her eyes. “That is fine,” she said quietly.
4
ANA
Ana stood in front of the mirror staring at her reflection. The handmaids from Ryden’s mansion had done a good job. Not as good as Milly, of course, but at least nothing clashed with the color of her hair.
Tiny gems sewn into the deep emerald wedding gown shone and sparkled with every move she made. The style bared her shoulders, and the long sleeves elegantly tapered and sloped in a style that was highly fashionable in court. The tight corset accentuated her curves, while the skirt puffed out in multiple layers down to the floor. A beautiful train with a lace edge, at least four feet long, spread out behind her in an oval shape. Her crown had been collected from the palace and nestled onto her head. It’d taken two hours to arrange her red-copper locks into a delicate and elaborate hairstyle, showcasing her crown.