“You busy man.” What the fuck? A blonde wearing far too much makeup with puffy hair and even puffier breasts coos. “I Evgeniya Elizaveta Zadorozhnaya,” she says with a heavy accent. That's a mouthful.
Since I'm in a good mood, I decide to indulge her.
“You’re Russian?” I ask.
“Yes. You guess.” She seems impressed. I do have my fair share of Anglo- Russian mogul clients to thank for that. “I come here only one year.”
“How do you like London?”
“Hot men. I like.” I guess, my question got lost in translation. “You hot. Very hot. You sexy hot, like a god.” She growls that last part.
“Well, thank you, Evgeniya,” I say.
“You call me Double E. We friends now.” She scoots her chair closer.
“Double E?” I cock an eyebrow.
“Yes. Nickname for girls,” she says lifting her mammoth tits as a gift. No doubt she was born with those… just like she was born a natural blonde.
Did I mention she’s wearing a short and extraordinarily tight sausage-casing-like dress in a screaming shade of bright green that's practically transparent? When I blink, I notice how her nipples are protruding. She notices my reaction and leans into to me.
“You like?” she asks squeezing her tits together. “All men do.” I pull up the corner of my lips. I guess she takes that as an invitation. “We go to restroom and I show you nipples. They long—one inch.” She sticks out her chest even more. Those pointy nipples are threatening to rip that dress. “When I show you, you want to stick in mouth. All men do.”
“Evge—”
“Double E.”
“Evgeniya,” I insist. “I’m sure your breasts are quite the phenomenon, but—”
“Come on.” She walks her fingers up my arm. “I have very big kitty cat cunt already wet for you.” Clearly, she’s still learning English. “No condom. Your big dick rub my cunt and I come. I put my cunt cream on you.” I guess she kept her English education strictly to the essentials. She gives me a creepy eye sweep. I’m sure it’s meant to be seductive, but it reeks of a crazy vibe.
I open my mouth to answer, but my phone flashes a text from my secretary.
Extremely urgent. It’s about Groove Renegade records. The new client. Maxfield is on his way to pick you up. The car should pull up in front of the hotel in ten. I’ll meet you at your place. Gregory is taking care of fueling the jet.
This doesn’t sound good.
“I’m sorry, Evgeniya. I have a pressing situation to deal with.” I stand up and call Caroline over. As she approaches my table, I throw two hundred pounds on the table and say, “Thank you. I have to run. Please keep the change.”
She rewards me with a dazzling smile. “Thank you very much, sir.” She’s about to say something else, but Evgeniya reminds us of her presence.
“I give you number. You go now, but tomorrow night you rub my kitty cat cunt with big dick.” This woman has no shame.
Caroline widens her eyes and rushes off.
I inhale, carefully weighing my words. “Evge—”
“You say yes?” She's practically salivating.
“You lost me the second you sat down uninvited at my table. By the time you said, ‘All men do’, twice, all I could see were the words STD flashing in neon lights over your head.”
“What it means STD?”
“Sexually. Transmitted. Diseases.”
Her jaw drops and she sears me with a dark gaze.
That only fuels me.
“I’m sure you’ll find a chap who’ll gladly suck on your one-inch nipples. Too bad for you I don't have the word stupid stamped on my forehead. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
With that, I make my way to the door. I don’t even grant Evgeniya the courtesy of another look. She’s not worth it.
Thank God Maxfield is just pulling up as I step out of the Connaught. As I slide in the back of my chauffeured Rolls-Royce, I can't help but feel sorry for the poor idiot who will fall into Double E’s web. That woman is nasty. And I don't mean that in a good way.
If I’ve learned anything from my profession, it’s that eager pussy can sometimes come at a hefty price.