I think of what comes after the surgery. The first few days that are so crucial after a major operation. The recovery, the lifetime of drugs she’ll have to take to keep her body from rejecting the organ. Even with all those factors, I think of the second chance at life this new heart with give Mackenzie. How she’ll get to grow up, experience all the normal childhood and teenage firsts. Go off to college, fall in love, get married if she chooses, have kids if that’s something she wants. Those thoughts also have my mind wandering to the donor. What was he or she like? How old were they? How did they die?
As all of these questions flood my mind, I lean my head back against my chair and close my eyes. The exhaustion of the day is finally setting in. It makes me think of Drew and how tired he must be getting. I know he’s used to being awake for long days and standing on his feet for many of those hours, but I still worry. I know he wouldn’t risk the safety of his patient, or himself, if he was too exhausted to perform the surgery, so I push those thoughts from my mind. I instead work on turning my thoughts in a positive manner. I focus on my breathing and relaxing as much as possible. Even with spending most of my days in my chair, it can sometimes get uncomfortable by the end of the day. I look forward to being home each night and stretching out on my couch or bed. Giving my body a new position to be in is not only good for my muscles, but helps me fend off getting sores from sitting in the same position all the time.
“Can I get anyone anything?” I ask the room at large.
“I think we’re good, thanks, Megan,” Heather says, answering for everyone.
“Okay, I’ll be back in a little bit. If that changes, call me on my cell,” I tell her and write my number on the whiteboard on the wall.
“Thanks,” she says, smiling at me across the room.
I head out and down to the staff lounge first, making a stop in the bathroom. While all the bathrooms in the hospital are handicap accessible, this one is my favorite, as it’s the largest and easiest to maneuver my chair in and out of. I head out of the bathroom and lounge, and make my way down to one of the rooms that our physical therapists and occupational therapists use for patients. It’s the safest location for me to go and stretch myself out. I can feel my muscles spasming up and need to stretch them out before I end up not being able to tonight.
I maneuver my chair so I’m directly in front of the wall with a long bar attached to it, much like a barre bar. I unbuckle the seatbelt of my chair and pull myself to the edge. Once my feet are firm against the floor, I grip the bar in front of me and pull myself up until I’m standing. The immediate stretch through the muscles of my legs and back is a mixture of relief and pain. As my muscles elongate, they slightly spasm, but then release, and the relief that brings is worth the slight amount of pain that I feel at first. I allow myself to just stand there for a few minutes. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I can feel my body adjusting to standing. I can feel my core attempting to take over and hold me upright. Once I feel steady enough, I let go with one hand, keeping the other firmly on the bar for support. I stay like that, doing a few calf raises once I feel strong enough to give my legs yet another stretch. Once I’ve had enough time out of my chair, I settle back in it and head for the cafeteria, where I grab a coffee and cookie before heading back up to wait with Mack’s family. The surgery is going to take a few more hours, as long as everything goes to plan, and no complications arise.
I stop at the nurses’ station once I make it back up to the pediatric floor and find Candace there.
“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be here this late,” I greet her.
“I’m working half a shift for Shirley tonight. Her granddaughter is sick, so I’m working the first half of her shift and Brianna is coming in early to take the other half of it before her shift tomorrow.”
“Ah, that’s too bad about her granddaughter,” I say.
“Yeah, sounds like the stomach bug. She was hopeful that it wouldn’t last more than twelve to twenty-four hours.”
“Have you heard anything from the OR?” I ask.
“Just got an update a few minutes ago. They’ve successfully transferred Mack to the heart-lung machine and have removed her heart. They were getting ready to place the new heart in and start the transplant.”
“That’s great news. No complications then?” I ask.
“They didn’t mention any, and seeing the amount of time that has lapsed, if they did, they weren’t major.”
“That’s so good to hear. I’ve been so worried something would go wrong.”
“Dr. Montgomery is a very skilled surgeon, and Mack is a tough little girl.”
“Oh, no doubt. I didn’t have any worry that Dr. Montgomery would have any issues, I was more worried that something would be wrong with the new heart or just another surgery complication would spring up,” I reply, stopping as I feel like I’m just putting my foot in my mouth. “Have you updated the family?” I ask, changing the subject slightly.
“Yes,” she answers as she grabs a chart. “They were happy to get such a good report.”
“I’m sure they were. Thank you for filling me in.”
I roll down the hall towards Mack’s room, the door is ajar slightly, and I pause at it before pushing it open. I can hear voices, all sounding upbeat and optimistic. The update is just what they needed to assure them that this is all going to pay off and be okay. Mackenzie is in good hands with Drew at the helm of her surgery.
I push the door open and enter the room. The news has made such an impact on the room. Before I left, it was almost complete silence except for the soft noise from the TV and the occasional words from one of the many family members here. Now, they’re all talking amongst themselves. The update that came while I was gone turned the melancholy that had settled over it right around, making it almost palpable in the room.
“Megan,” Heather says my name as she sees me enter the room, “they just updated us a few minutes ago!” The optimism in her voice has me smiling.
“I heard, such great news!”
“It was just the update we needed,” she says as she leaves David’s side and comes over to where I’ve stopped a few feet past the door.
“We’re just about to order in some food for everyone, can we get you anything?” David asks from across the room.
“I’m good, but thank you for the offer. I had dinner with Drew before surgery and just grabbed a snack while I was gone,” I tell them.
“So, you and Drew, huh?” Heather asks, her eyebrows wiggling up toward her hairline.
I can’t help but smile at her question. “We’re friends,” I confirm.
“I think you’re more than friends,” she says, smiling wide at me.
“We’ll see, things are new and we’re taking them slow,” I confess. There’s no reason to lie to her about what’s going on, not that I could with how easily I blush at her question and implication.
“He’s a great guy, and from what time I’ve gotten to know you, I’d say the same about you. He needs someone good in his life,” she says, taking a seat on the edge of the bedside chair. “Maybe that can be you,” she says, sounding a little hopeful.