“I will make sure she is safe here,” Caden replied.
Tanner appeared beyond flustered. “I mean this with all due respect, my King, I know that Brighton is important to you, but you must think about how this will look to Tatiana and her brother.”
Caden’s head snapped in his direction. “Do I appear as if I remotely care how it looks?”
The breath I took was as sharp as the one I knew Tanner inhaled. “You should care,” I told him, and I had no idea how he didn’t crack his neck with how fast he turned those furious eyes on me.
I had a feeling that whatever was about to come out of his mouth would be tantamount to me taking out an ad announcing that I was his mortuus.
Thank God that Faye spoke when she did. “Not to interrupt this very awkward conversation, but a Summer fae wanting the Queen to enter the human world? Do you really think one of our own would be working with Aric? With the Winter fae?”
“As if it hasn’t happened before,” Caden snapped. “Let’s not forget that Aric was one of my closest confidants. He was my Knight. So, it’s not just possible, it’s extremely likely.”
Chapter 5
I hadn’t believed that Aric had lied, but knowing that Caden saw it as highly likely was like watching a pall of death settle over the normally warm hotel.
Tanner was in shock. I couldn’t blame him. Faye looked as if she wanted to start a Fae Inquisition, and Caden looked like…
Well, I was doing my best not to see what he looked like by studiously ignoring him. Wasn’t exactly doing much since I didn’t need to see him to know that he was mad. His fury was in every clipped response and the tension that bled from him. I didn’t know what he was angrier about—that someone in his own Court had betrayed him, or that I had pushed back on the idea of him staying with me.
There was no way I could allow that to happen.
I kept trying to leave while Tanner and Faye discussed who the traitor could be. Still, every time I moved an inch, either Faye would ask if there was anything else I could remember, or Caden sent me a look that froze me in my tracks.
Which caused my irritation to skyrocket to uncharted territories. I would’ve loved for Caden to stay with me. For him to be there with me. But that was beside the point. Even if things were hunky-dory between us, I wouldn’t be cool with his high-handed attitude. I had a say in this. The final say. And he needed to get that through his thick, albeit sexy, skull.
Finally, after it was agreed that Kalen, another fae, and Ren and Ivy would be advised about the potential traitor in our midst, Tanner and Faye headed for the door. It had also been decided that it would be best to keep the knowledge of Caden’s ability to open the gateway limited to those in the room. As Tanner had said, there was no need to cause undue distrust and weaken the fledgling bond between the Summer fae and the Order…if one could call the sliver of a thread brought about by an agreement to work together a bond.
I rose, my gaze fixed on the door as if it were a lifeline. It was far past time to act like the entire future of the human and fae race, of our child, depended on us—or me—making the right choice. Our child. Those words caused my heart to start pounding. I made it about two steps.
“Brighton.”
A tiny, childish part of me wanted to pretend as if I hadn’t heard him. I was a lot of things, but a coward wasn’t one of them. I stopped.
Okay. Maybe I was a little bit cowardly, because I didn’t face him. I could feel him though. He couldn’t be standing more than a few feet behind me.
“Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“Don’t pretend that you don’t know.” He was closer now. I could practically feel his heat against my back, and it took everything in me not to turn around and throw my arms around him. To revel in that warmth and comfort once more.
I stayed where I was. “Maybe I just don’t want to talk about what I know you want to discuss.”
“And maybe I don’t want to stand here and talk to the back of your head, but that’s what I’m doing.”
“You stopped me,” I pointed out.
There was a beat of silence. “What is going on, Brighton?”
Sighing, I faced him because he didn’t deserve to talk to my haphazard ponytail. Even though I’d been sitting in the same room with him, had been in his lap and had been kissing him just a bit ago, I still felt a little breathless when I met his gaze. There was such openness in his striking features, not at all like when I’d first gotten to know him.
“Why are you so resistant to coming home with me or staying with you?” he asked. “You know damn well it’s necessary. If Aric told anyone that you’re my mortuus, you’re in danger.”
My chest hollowed. I didn’t want to be in danger. Not after what I’d gone through, but it wasn’t like my life hadn’t been risky before. As a member of the Order, even one that wasn’t expected to patrol like the other members, I still had a target on my back, as history had proven. “We really don’t know if Aric told this Summer fae traitor anything. It wasn’t like he lived long after realizing what I was.”
“But it’s also not like you killed him the moment after he realized what you meant to me, right?” he challenged.
I hadn’t. “All that means is that we don’t know.”
“And that is why we need to be extra cautious. I will not allow harm to come to you. Not again.” His chin dipped as those fiery eyes met mine. “Never again.”
His words brought forth too much pleasure. “I can protect myself, Caden.”
“Didn’t say you couldn’t, but why should you have to do that by yourself?”
I folded my arms over my chest, mainly to stop myself from looping them around his neck. “Because I always have.”
He took a small, measured step forward. “But things are different. You have me now. You have all of me.”
It felt like a knife being shoved straight into my heart. His words shouldn’t make me feel that way. They should bring me nothing but happiness.
This isn’t fair.
It really wasn’t, but that didn’t change reality. “I don’t want you to protect me,” I forced out, each word stinging and scraping at me. “I don’t want you at my house. I don’t—I don’t want you.”
His brows lifted. That was the only response he showed.
I drew in a shallow, burning breath. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, but I can’t… I can’t do this with you. I care about you, but I…I don’t want to be with you.”
“You don’t?” His tone was flat.
Another sharp, piercing stab to the chest as I said, “I don’t love you.”
“Is that so?”
I blinked at the response, unsure how to proceed. I didn’t know how he’d react. Maybe argue? Get mad? Sad? The deadpanned replies threw me off. Would it be this easy? If so, did he even really love me?
It doesn’t matter.
It did, though.
Confused and irritated with myself, I took a step back. “I’m sorry.”
His head tilted slightly. “For what?”
“Everything,” I whispered.