Yes, fucking you would be the one way to get rid of you. It was almost tempting.
But then I watched his lips tighten as his eyes glistened.
He fell silent, looking taken aback, and I faltered, watching my words work their way through his head, slicing a bloody path that I immediately regretted.
He dropped his eyes, stuck the lighter into his pocket, and let out a resolved breath. “Why are you so mean?”
But he didn’t really want an answer. Turning away, he left my bedroom and headed down the stairs, and in that moment, my insides crumbled, because I knew I’d gone too far.
I didn’t want this.
I didn’t want him to go, because I’d never hear from him again. I’d go to school tomorrow, pass him in the halls, but this time, he wouldn’t look back at me.
I’d gone too far.
Racing after him, I jogged down the stairs, leapt over the last few steps, and pushed the front door closed again just as he was opening it.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, gripping his T-shirt at his waist and dipping my forehead into his back. “I’m not…” My voice shook. “I’m just…not a happy person, Will. And you’re right, I never will be.”
Tears lodged in my throat, and I blinked long and hard to keep the tears away. I didn’t want to cry in front of him again.
He stood there, still, only the beat of his heart pulsing through his body.
“I’m not right for you,” I told him.
And not because he was rich and popular and I wasn’t, but because he made my life better. I looked forward to him.
What did I give him?
“Noted,” he replied coolly. “Now let me go.”
I squeezed my eyes shut at his cutting tone.
He wouldn’t be back.
And something started to come over me, like a curtain falling—or lifting—and for once in my life, I refused to stop myself. I was so cold.
And he was so warm. It was like an invisible rope pulling me to the edge that it was beyond me to control.
“You wanted your tie back,” I whispered.
His back moved with each breath. “Keep it,” he told me. “Or throw it away.”
He reached for the door handle.
“You want something of mine instead?” I blurted out.
He stopped, gripping the handle but not turning it.
My heartbeat raged, and I knew I was going too far again. I’d regret this. I’d hate him later. He’d hate me. My brother could drop by on his rounds to check on me…
But…I didn’t give a shit.
I wanted to be here now.
Pushing my cardigan over my shoulders, I pulled it off my arms and held it out in front of him.
“This, perhaps?” I asked softly. But then I let it slide off my hand to the floor. “No, it won’t fit you, I guess.”
He stared down at my discarded sweater, and I could barely breathe, but he wasn’t leaving, and I kept going.
Taking the hem of my tank top, I pulled it over my head, the air hitting my bare breasts, every inch of my body alive with awareness. “Or this?” I murmured, holding my white top in front of him.
His chest rose and fell harder, and it was like he was frozen, unable to move.
I leaned in, pressing myself into his back, and dropped the shirt, whispering up into his ear, “That’s too small, too. I told you, Will Grayson. We…don’t…fit.”
He exhaled hard, looking over his shoulder. “There’s a part of you that’s my size, I’ll bet,” he teased.
I bit my bottom lip to keep my excitement in check. I slipped my hands inside his shirt and circled his waist, running my fingers over his stomach and up his abs.
Heat pooled between my legs, and I nearly groaned, feeling his soft, tight skin, the muscles and curves of his body and things I wanted my mouth on now, not my hands.
There was nothing about Will Grayson that wasn’t perfect. God…
“I want to take off your shirt,” I told him.
He planted his hand on the door to steady himself, and I could see the sweat on his temple.
He looked exhausted. I almost smiled.
After a moment, he straightened, and I took that as my cue. Lifting up his T-shirt, I pulled it over his head, dropped it to the floor, and came in, circling my arms around his waist and pressing my skin to his as I took a chunk of his back between my teeth.
He gasped, slamming his hand into the door again, and I grinned.
I dragged my teeth across his back and then licked his skin before kissing him. He moaned, and I held him, closing my eyes and feeling his body quiver. His smell—warm and heady—seeped into my brain.
I wanted him to know he deserved better. I wanted him to know that if I were someone else, I’d be his and I’d love him so good.
Running my hands up his chest, I traced the ridges of his collarbone, down the dip between his pecs, and trailed kisses on his back.
Reaching over, I pulled a silk paisley scarf off the coat hanger and brought it up to wrap around his eyes.
He inched away, trying to turn around, but I stopped him.
“What’s this for?” he demanded.
Every bruise on my body throbbed, and it took a moment to answer. “Rules,” was all I said.
He didn’t understand, but he didn’t argue, either. I tied the scarf around his eyes so he could face me and not see everything.
His breathing quickened as he lost sight of the world around him, and I turned him around, looking up at his face.
“Can you see anything?” I asked.
“No.”
Inching up on my tiptoes, I pressed myself into him, guiding his arms around my body and then wrapping mine around his neck. “And now?”
The corner of his lips lifted into a smile, his hands immediately roaming and taking hold of me. He ran his fingers all over my back, the pressure growing as he learned the terrain, and then he slid his hand up my stomach, taking one of my breasts in his palm as he leaned down and took my mouth with his.
I sucked in a breath, whimpering at the heat and nerves firing over every inch of my body. Lifting me off my feet, he moved over my mouth, slipping his tongue between my lips, and I groaned, feeling it down to my toes.
A sound pierced the air, but I barely noticed as I wrapped my legs around his waist, lost in his body.
His lips trailed to my neck, sucking, and I tightened my arms around him, trying to get closer and closer as I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head.
“Will…”
He squeezed my ass in both hands as I found his mouth again, almost too hungry to register the far-off sound when it happened again.
He bit my lips and slipped my glasses off my head, setting them on the table.
The sound—a ringing—perked my ears, and I finally blinked my eyes open.
My phone. I pulled away from his mouth, turning my head over my shoulder toward the kitchen, hearing the special ringtone I had designated for Martin.
Shit.
I tried to push Will away. “I have to answer it.”
“Don’t.”
He pulled me in tighter, kissing me softly as he rubbed his thumb around my nipple again and again.
“Please.” I moaned, not wanting to let him go. “It’s my brother.”
“And I’m your man now.” He took off the blindfold, looking up into my eyes. “And I’m asking you for tonight.”