I slowly turn my head back to the waitress giving a forced smile, ready to apologize, when blondie starts talking.
She reaches for Valor's cup, pouring water into the glass as she talks, "Sure thing, kiddo. You know, it isn't very ladylike to talk with your mouth full."
I'm not sure how I landed myself in this position, pitted between one angry teenager and a passive-aggressive Barbie. All I know is Barbie is being a bitch. Her comment was snarky, and anyone who needs to tear down a kid to make themselves feel superior isn't the type of person I want around, even if it is for a simple fuck.
Valor's face falls, and she turns her head to look out the window. Pink heats up her neck and works its way towards her face. I can visibly see her deflate.
She is the queen of hiding her emotions. Valor puts on a mask of confidence every single day of her life. Hoping that if she can make the jokes about being a tomboy first, people won't notice that it bothers her that she doesn't have a mom to teach her how to be 'ladylike.'
All I want to do is wrap her up in a cocoon and save her from all the hurt this world is going to put her through. Maybe that's why Vallie and I are so close, why when she feels the need to break down it's with me. Pain recognizes pain. Our mothers left because they chose to, not because someone made them but because they wanted to. My hurt and hers? It's the same breed of torture.
Water brims her bright green eyes that are turning gray by the second. Vallie has cried only a handful of times in front of me. The worst one?
*Buzz* *Buzz*
With a groan, I roll over and grab my phone off the side table. What fucking time is it? I pick the phone up and lay down on my back again. A loud yawn falls from my mouth as I answer with my eyes still closed.
"Hello?" My voice is groggy from lack of sleep. I run a hand down my face trying to wake up a little.
"B?" Her voice is quiet, small, and sounds full of tears.
I sit straight up in bed. My heart is thudding in my chest, and my veins run ice cold. I swing my legs off the side of the bed grabbing the jeans I wore tonight off the floor and start tugging them up my body. Fuck boxers.
"Valor? What's wrong, are you okay? Where are you?"
She laughs gently, but I can tell tears are running down her face.
"I'm okay. Um, sorry I woke you up, I-I… I need a favor."
I take a deep breath when she tells me she isn't in any danger, but my body is still on high alert. I tuck the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I slip my shoes and socks on.
"Anything, Vallie."
"I'm at a sleepover and I don't feel good. I want to go home. Dad is out tonight and I don't want to bother him. I want him to have a good time…" she trails. Her voice is soft, and it cracks near the end.
"Text me the address, I'm on my way."
I quickly throw my shirt on and grab my keys. The ride to the small suburban house leaves me time to think.
Valor knows her dad would have come and gotten her no matter where he was, or what he was doing. I run a tired hand through my hair with a sigh. So, why did she call me? What happened at the sleepover that made her feel like she couldn't talk to her dad about it?
Worry racks my bones the entire ride until I pull into the driveway of the house. I pull my phone out, sending a text message to Valor letting her know I'm here.
I look out of the window towards the door watching it open slowly. Valor's red hair is in messy braids and a pair of hockey PJs adorn her eleven-year-old frame. My heart squeezes in my chest as I see her puffy face and wet eyes.
She jogs to my car, opening the passenger door and sliding in. I click the seat warmer on high and watch as she pulls her knees up towards her upper body. She lays her head on the window and sighs.
"Your car always smells like you," she mumbles. Heavy tears leaving a wet line to her chin. She sniffles and uses her sleeves to wipe her eyes. Her statement didn't really require a reply. It was just her letting me know that it made her feel comfortable.
I put the car in reverse and started the drive towards her house. The silence isn't awkward, it's just quiet. I'm letting her breathe, letting her know that she's okay now. She's safe. She needs a few minutes of feeling safe.
When we get back to the loft, I help her out of the car and use my key to get into her front door. I notice her dad's car is gone, and decide to tell him in the morning when he gets home.
"Go sit on the couch, find us something to watch, I'll be in there in a second," I say softly, and she nods. I head to the kitchen, opening up the cabinets grabbing a coffee cup, honey, tea, milk, and lemon. Once all the ingredients are out, I start boiling the water.
Anna made this for me when I had nightmares and couldn't sleep. It used to put me right to sleep, and as a kid it made me feel safe and loved. That's what Val needs right now. To feel loved.
I rest my hands on the counter, calming myself down from the adrenaline rush. Once the water boils I pour it into the cup, add a slice of lemon, tea bag, honey, and a splash of milk. I carry the cup into the living room where Valor is cuddled up on the couch in a ball with a blanket wrapped around her.
I sit on the floor in front of her and hand her the tea. She takes it, looks into the cup, and raises an eyebrow.
"Are you trying to poison me?"
I laugh, shaking my head. "No, not yet. Drink it; it'll make you feel better."
She takes a few drinks, before laying it on the floor between us and whispers a soft, "Thanks."
I clear my throat. "So, are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to force it out of you?"
With an eye roll and a groan, she starts speaking, "It's stupid, Katie's mom just said something that pissed me off. I didn't want to stay till the morning and hear her mouth again."
I raise an eyebrow, knowing that's not all. She sits up, the blanket wrapped around her shoulders.
"She said my dad needed to hurry and find a wife before I turned into a boy or a lesbian. All because I was talking to Katie about how hockey was going. All evening she was telling me how un- lady like I was. Cross your legs, Valor. Valor, don't talk with your mouth full. Valor, this. Valor, that. I mean what's so wrong with how I act?" Her voice falls at the end and tears gather up in her eyes.
She stands up abruptly, pacing the room. She's irritated that this situation bothers her, and watching her go through these rollercoaster emotions is painful.
"Yeah, I-I like sports and I am a messy eater, but that doesn't make me a boy! I can't help it that I don't have a mom to teach me these things, B. I can't help that she left me! I can't help that she left…" she all but yells as tears start to fall faster. I stand up quickly, moving towards her. I wrap my arms around her pulling her into my chest tightly. Her small hands cling to my shirt as she trembles against me.
"W-hy didn't she want me, B?! What's so wrong with me that people leave me? What did I-I do?" Her voice is wobbling. She can barely even get the words out. I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't know. That is what I want to say.
I don't know, Vallie.
My mom left me too. I wanna say. She left me and didn't tell me why either and every night I cried myself to sleep asking this same question.
But I can't say that. I have to say something that will make her better; that will help her. I have to be the person I needed when I was young. I tell her the same thing Coach Eric's wife Anna told me when I was angry at the world, angry at my mother.