“If you throw up tonight I’m not babysitting you,” Kai states.
“Yes, Dad,” Nico grumbles.
The rest of the guys laugh. We all fall into random conversations. The usual stuff, women, hockey, life. One of the guys just had a baby, so he’s showing pictures to everyone. He’d just gotten married about two years ago and was still in the smitten stage.
Conversations like this always make me think of Valor. If things went differently all those years ago, we’d still be together. My stupid ass would have gotten the shit beat out of me by her dad, but he eventually would have approved, I think. I would have been there at her college graduation, at her draft, and I probably would have proposed that night.
My life wouldn’t feel so empty. The apartment wouldn’t feel like a kaleidoscope of memories of her, because we would have made new ones in them. I’d try to convince her to move in, and after asking many times, and using my tongue to persuade her she would have said yes. I wouldn’t have been going on a four-year dry spell because every night I’d be buried inside of her one way or another. Her mouth, her pussy, and if she was feeling frisky maybe her ass. Then we’d fall asleep and I’d wake up with her there.
Our story was shitty and I hated it.
I was working on my third glass of scotch when I saw her. I wish my fucking body would stop reacting to her like this. Every time I see her it’s like seeing a different side of her, a different piece I didn’t notice before. It knocks the damn breath out of me every time. My arms got goosebumps, and I instantly clench my fists. My chest tightens. I look at her like if the world came crashing down around us right now, I wouldn’t blink.
Don’t even get me started on what she does to my dick.
She was leaning on the ledge of the roof looking out at the night sky. Curls blowing with the wind. Sometimes when I’d look at her when she was in my bed at night, I’d wonder how a person could be so fucking perfect and still not see it. I wonder if she learned to look in the mirror and love what she saw.
Because when I looked in the mirror all I saw was her broken face leaving my apartment.
I stood up, setting down my glass, walk over there. We were friends, right? I could talk to her as a friend. I had talked myself out of it halfway to her and convinced myself again. Then the wind blew, and I caught the smell of lavender.
Everything after that was an afterthought.
I leaned on the ledge next to her.
“Good game tonight.”
God, Bishop. You are such a fucking idiot. Good game? Next, you’ll be smacking her ass as she skates off the ice. Dumbass.
She looks over at me, not a hint of emotion on her face. “Wish I could say the same to you, you played like shit.”
Like she already knew I was there before I walked up, she tries not to smile. I laugh, placing a hand on my heart, and grimace.
“Damn, shots fired at my ego! You know how to break a guy down.” I match her stance, trying not to show her that I am mentally breaking the fuck down being this close to her again. I hate fucking feelings.
“Don’t worry your ego can take more than a couple of hits before it affects you, Golden boy.” Her fingers draw shapes on the ledge, and she chews on her cheek.
Talking to her like this reminds me of when she was younger. Always trying to argue with me about something, constantly giving me shit, never afraid to say how she was feeling.
I roll my eyes, “Well hotshot, you had two goals and an assist. Out there living up to your name.” The comment was supposed to be a compliment. I expected her to smile and say thanks, not blow the fuck up on me.
“Ya know…” She turns to face me completely, slitting her eyes. “I’m more than my goddamn fucking name.” The sneer on her face makes me frown. My eyebrows come together in confusion. She’d always loved being told she had a legacy she lived up to. Valor had never been ashamed of her father's last name if anything she was honored to carry it.
“Hey,” I start, pushing my hands into my dress pants pockets, “I know that V. You don’t have to bite my fucking head off. I of all people know that. I’ve seen the work you put in. It kind of ticks me off that you think I’m someone who believes you got to the league because of your last name. I thought you knew me better than that.”
I knew the press, and the interviews could be a lot, it’s overwhelming at first. I had to deal with their pressing questions about my mother and my father when I first started. Now everyone knows not to ask that shit anymore. Valor’s last name had gone from something she was proud off to something she was working against.
“That’s the thing, Bishop,” she pauses, looking away from me, “I don’t know you anymore and you don’t know jack shit about me. How about we stop acting like we are something we aren’t, we are strangers now. That’s it.”
I step closer to her, gripping her chin between my thumb and forefinger. I jerk her face to look at me, those emerald eyes flash with emotion, and for just a second I think she wants me to kiss her, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. Those eyes never lie to me.
“A lot of shit may have gone down between us, but I never,” I stare into her eyes, my jaw ticking, “Not one fucking time, did I ever, doubt who you were as a hockey player.” A smirk spreads on my lips as she tries to look away from me, but I just hold her there. “Say what you want, but I know you. I always have, always will. You can’t hide from me, and it pisses you off, doesn’t it? A few years and a douche boyfriend aren’t going to change what I know about you.”
I didn’t mean for the boyfriend comment to slip out. But my emotions were turned up too high. I never knew what I was going to say to her, she evoked things in me I didn’t even know existed. Fire burns in her eyes, and she smirks.
Little fucking shit.
“You know I have a boyfriend? Have you been keeping tabs on me? Stalk much? He isn’t a douche. I don’t recall you meeting him, so how do you know how he acts? That’s right…you think you know fucking everything.” She jerks her face from my grasp, brushing her hair behind her ear.
Since I’m already busted for knowing about him, I might as well spill all the fucking beans.
“He wore a fucking pink suit to your draft. Pink, Valor. How much more of a douche can he be? I’m betting his nails are better taken care of than yours. Or let me guess, you all have matching mani-pedis?”
I was being a dick, but I didn’t fucking care. How the hell did JR even like this guy? I know he thinks he is a pussy too, hockey players all think the same way. We are all wired differently than regular athletes.
She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest. “There is nothing wrong with male grooming. Some guys take pride in how they look. Not everyone wants to roll out of bed with sex hair smelling like pussy. It’s called class, maybe you should try it, Maverick.”
I know I should be angry, but all she is doing is making my dick hard. Her snarky mouth is simultaneously the most annoying fucking thing on the earth but also my favorite thing about her. I laugh out loud, a sarcastic smile on my face.
“You used to be the reason my hair was so fucking messy, you nearly pulled it out. If I recall correctly, you had no problem with my smell when my face was buried between those thighs of yours.” I run my eyes up and down her body, licking my bottom lip.