“No, I’ve always wanted to be a father.”
At this moment I envy them their simple certainties. I wish I had some.
“Aren’t you guys scared of screwing up?” I prod. “Of not being good parents?”
“Gosh,” Logan says. “You’re the worst best man ever. Shouldn’t you be making calming speeches right now? Why are you trying to put doubts into my head?”
“You look calmer than a sarcophagus and clearly have no doubts.”
“Because I am sure. I love Winter; I want her to be my life’s partner. I’ve longed to start a family of my own ever since—” His voice falters, and I don’t need him to speak to know he’s talking about losing his parents. They both died in a car accident two years after we graduated. Logan has been sort of adopted by my mom ever since. He’s been with us for every Christmas and Thanksgiving. And my mom is crushed they couldn’t be here for the wedding, but my parents booked a cruise for this week a year in advance and would’ve lost all the money if they didn’t go.
Adopted brother or not, I understand Logan’s desire to build a home.
“I know, man,” I say.
My best friend nods, shaking the sadness away. “And of course we’re going to screw up, but we’ll fix it, together.”
I pretend to gag to lighten the mood. “You’ll give me diabetes.” I turn to Tucker to share a manly stare of groom-deprecating disgust, but my other friend has gone back to staring straight ahead and fidgeting.
“You, on the other hand”—I point a finger at him—“look more nervous than a bull in a china shop. What’s up?”
Tucker looks at us. “Guys, I have to tell you something.”
That doesn’t sound promising.
“Hey, Tuck, relax,” Logan says with an easy grin. “It’s not like you’re getting married in a few hours.”
I’m less inclined to jokes, and prompt him, “Come on, man, spit it out.”
“Okay.” Tucker takes a deep breath. “I’ve made a decision… The trip to Thailand next month will be my last. Sorry, guys.”
And there goes another bomb. This wedding is tearing my life apart.
Slack-jawed, I ask, “But why?”
Tucker obsessively dries his palms on his knees. “As Logan said, it’s time for a more stabilized lifestyle. No more traveling around the five continents, that’s all.”
“What will you do? Are you going to be a Yosemite guide full time?” I ask.
“Actually…” The palm-drying pace increases. “I’m thinking of moving to LA.”
And the shoe drops. “Wait, this wouldn’t have anything to do with Feisty Curls, uh?”
“Who’s Feisty Curls?” Logan asks.
“That actor’s assistant,” I explain. “Tall, curly hair, dark skin, green eyes.” Then I point an accusing finger at Tucker. “I saw them eating each other’s faces the other night.”
Despite being a grown man, Tucker blushes. “I have nothing to hide,” he says. “Penny and I are in love and, yes, I am moving to LA to be closer to her.”
“But what will you do for a living down there?” I ask.
Tucker takes a deep breath. “I want to open a wedding planning agency.”
“You’re joking,” I say, just as Logan comments, “I’m so happy for you, man.”
“Thanks,” Tucker says to Logan, then slights me with a disdainful raise of his chin. Like a shunned milady in a regency B-Movie would.
So, I backpedal a little. “What I meant is that I thought you hated planning this wedding. And you love it up here, man. You live at Yosemite when we’re not somewhere on a job. And how are you going to make a wedding planning agency work in LA? The competition ought to be crushing. And all for a woman you just met?”
“Hey,” Logan protests. “I hadn’t known Winter much longer when I realized she was the one for me.”
“Thanks.” Tucker makes the hands-united-in-prayer gesture at Logan and then turns to me. “And to answer your questions. I’m in love with Penny and I want to be with her. Yes, I will miss the nature up here, but it’s a sacrifice worth making. And I didn’t hate planning this wedding, it was just…” He shrugs. “Different from what I’m used to. But logistics is logistics, and I think I did a pretty wonderful job.” He looks at Logan for confirmation.
“Stellar, man.”
“Thank you. And as for the crushing competition, Penny says a tweet from Christian praising my work will have me booked solid with brides for the next five years. And she’ll help me curate my Pinterest, whatever that means, so…”
“Great to see you have it all figured out,” I snap, getting up and resuming pacing around the room.
“Hey, Lover Boy,” Logan calls, using my college nickname. “Why, instead of asking us a million covert questions, don’t you just come out with what’s really bugging you so we can discuss it openly?”
“What do you mean?”
“That all this talk of kids and commitment and whether we”—he points at himself and Tucker—“are ready, is more a question of you falling for a certain bridesmaid and wondering if you’re ready for your first grownup relationship.”
I rack a hand through my hair. “Or that.”
“Sit down,” Logan orders. “You’re driving me nuts with all the pacing. And tell us what your dilemma is.”
“It’s not easy to talk to you guys, with all your certainties. You both sound so sure. Like the idea of upending your entire life for a woman isn’t scary.”
Logan gives me a long stare. “For the right woman, it isn’t. What are you so afraid of?”
“Summer wants to get married and have kids.”
Logan chuckles. “Listen, I know Winter gave you an earful yesterday. But you don’t have to sound the wedding bells the moment you enter a relationship; that’s not how it works.”
I’m not used to receiving women advice, but I need it. With a tight jaw, I say, “Enlighten me, then.”
“Imagine you walked into a dating agency, or filled out a profile online. One of the first questions they’d ask is if you want to have a family, as in kids. Then they’d pair off people according to their answers. They’d never match a woman who says she wants five kids with a man who says he wants none. So, if you ticked the kids box, you’d get paired with women who’d also checked that box. But that doesn’t mean you should start trying for a baby on the first night out.”
“Then what does that mean?”
“It means that you date, and see if you like each other. And if you were to fall in love, you’d both know your relationship eventually would lead to getting married and starting a family. The dating world is divided into two major categories: those who want kids, and those who don’t. And both categories know they should steer clear of the other, or else…”