“Whatcha doin’, Rick?” He smiles his ass off, eagerly waiting to hear this story then report back to his brothers and anyone else that’ll listen.
I start to make up some kind of excuse, but his grin just grows wider.
“Goddamn it, you’re ruining shit. Just get the fuck out of here.”
“It have to do with Mary?” His eyebrows rise.
I shake my head. “Just being nice to the—”
“Cut the shit, you’re not nice to anyone but her.”
My jaw clenches. “Fine, fucker, you got me. Just leave me alone.”
He tsks me. “No, I don’t think I will. In fact, I think I’ll just go find Mary. Didn’t she just walk by?”
“You son of a bitch. You wouldn’t.”
He nods slowly. “Oh, I would. Or, I could leave now.”
I shake my head in disbelief. Inside, I know I deserve every bit of this. These assholes rely on my services and I always make them do favors for me, even though they pay me a ridiculous amount of money already.
I whisper-scream, “What do you want, dickhead?”
“The tickets to the Bears’ suite we gave you, opening day.”
My eyes widen. “What? Why? You have your own tickets.”
He takes a step toward me with that shit-eating grin on his face. “Because I want your tickets.” He slowly opens the box and pulls a cupcake out right in front of me.
I stare at his hand in disbelief. This motherfucker. Everything is about power and control with these brothers. It’s why I love them, and I don’t give a shit about the Bears tickets either. Most of the time I don’t even show up. Hell, most of the time I’m at church with Mary on Sundays. I just want to let them know, I get what I want, when I want it. One day, I’ll need something for real and they won’t hesitate to provide. This is a symbolic loss of power, which is more valuable than any tickets to the Bears’ suite. But it’s a price I’m willing to pay for Mary.
“What’s it gonna be?” He takes a long bite of the cupcake enjoying every second of this.
“Fine, asshole.”
“Pleasure doing business with you,” he says as he smiles and walks off.
Dick.
As he walks out into the lobby of the firm, Mary flashes in front of me. She’s walking fast and doesn’t see me at all. I fall in quickly behind, on my toes, shadowing her all the way to her desk.
She walks into the cubicle, and I fill the small entrance to it, effectively caging her in. She must notice my shadow because she turns around just as I’m about to speak.
The second her eyes land on mine, her whole body stiffens, and her face tightens. Fuck, it’s so hot, and at the same time I don’t like it when she looks upset with me. Not right now, anyway. It’s not the mood I’m aiming for. This is my big moment, not some random day of the week.
“This better be about work.”
I grin. “I mean, it’s happening at work. That’s about the best I can give you.”
Her eyes land on the cupcakes, but she pretends not to care. It’s a farce. She wants them, it’s obvious, but I don’t want to rub it in that I know she knows she wants them.
“What do you want?”
Normally, a man at this point would offer up the cupcakes as a gift, but once she has that, she’ll send me on my way. I think she needs to work for them a little more. Okay, I don’t want to leave yet, and that’s why I don’t hand them over. I want to make this moment with her last as long as possible.
“To see you. Why else would I be here?”
She sighs. “I don’t have time for this. Please go.”
“Why are you trying to get rid of me so quick?”
“Because I’m working.”
“So am I.”
“No, you’re bothering me.”
“Are you upset with me or something?” It comes out before I can stop it. It was the worst possible thing I could’ve said, but my brain goes to shit any time I’m around this woman. I wince the second it comes out because I know what’s about to happen.
She takes a step at me. “Are you kidding?”
God, she’s so beautiful. I can’t even focus when her soft, brown eyes land on mine. Her hair is back in a ponytail, highlighting her cheek bones. She’s so angry, but I see right through it. See through all the red and the frustrated words, right there in her irises. She’s mad because she cares. We’ve played this game for months, but it’s been there, and I can’t look away from it. I can’t ignore it. I won’t ignore it. She’s the only truly good thing in my life.
“You really want to do this right here, right now?” She grinds her teeth and lowers her voice so nobody else can hear.
“I was trying to protect you.”
“I just want to work. Please just let me.” She folds her arms across her chest.
Fuck, what am I doing? This is all wrong. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. None of this is going according to plan. It was supposed to be a happy moment, and I’m fucking it all up.
What is it they always say about nice guys? They finish last and shit. Then they always tell you to come from the heart. Women are such a fucking mystery.
What am I supposed to do now? With any other woman I’d blow them off, act like a dick. Human beings want what they can’t have, and when you open your heart to someone, they know they’ve got you. I don’t want to be that way with Mary, though. I don’t want to be an asshole to her to get what I want.
I’m so confused.
Should I be a hardass here? Or do I lay myself out there for this woman? Should I put all my vulnerabilities on the table and face rejection? And not rejection from some chick at a bar I don’t give a shit about. Rejection from the only woman I’ve ever loved in my entire life, who has no idea I’m in love with her. Or at least doesn’t know how seriously I actually love her, and thinks I’m playing some kind of sick game.
Go from the heart, dude. Fuck it, just do it, pussy!
I hold the cupcakes out at her. “I got these for you. I’ve also had these tickets for months.” I pull out the tickets to Jesus of Nazareth. “I know the cupcakes are your favorite, and I overheard you talking at church, telling Jeremiah how you’ve always wanted to see the play, and have never had the opportunity. I did this before everything went down last night, and I want to figure that out with you. But I wanted to see if we could put that aside for a bit, and if you would go with me? Not as two friends going out to something together. I want to pick you up, take you to dinner, and drive you home after.”
Literally, none of that came out the way I imagined it. I’m such a fucking moron. I should’ve waited and regrouped when I had my wits about me.
Now, my nuts are on the chopping block facing judgment from a piss-poor date proposal.
Mary takes the cupcakes from me, and I swear her lips curl up the slightest bit, but then mash back into a thin line. “You’re asking me on a real date, after everything that happened last night? This is your timing, when you thought it’d be a good idea to do this?” She glares around, worried someone might actually see us.
Thank God the paralegals around her have headphones on, and nobody has walked by.
I stare down at her. “Yes. Sorry about the timing, but I’ve been planning this for a long time. Will you go out with me? On a real date?”