“Well, that seems like some consolation.”
She nodded. “For many patients, it is. They learn to accept their augments because they do carry certain benefits, and over time they learn to love it.”
“You mentioned new responsibilities. What does that mean?”
“Yes, that’s a factor every patient must consider but will often overlook. The intrinsic strength of your augments presents a potential danger. If you move too quickly or thoughtlessly, you could potentially break something or injure someone.”
She was right, I hadn’t considered that. I remembered how freakishly strong Andrea Capanelli could be when she wanted to. The thought of using that kind of strength unintentionally—
“So task number one is to learn to control my strength,” I said.
“Task number one is to learn how to walk. These aren’t first-generation limbs and they’re much better integrated with your nervous system than you probably realize, but you’ll still need to adapt. Your friend can help you walk when we’re finished, and you can see for yourself. Just don’t do anything ambitious until you know what results to expect.”
“I think I can manage that.”
“I know you can, Tycho. I’ve seen a number of people in the same situation you’re in right now. Most don’t handle it quite so well as you have. If you keep building on this foundation, you’ll do just fine. A few months from now, maybe less, and you won’t even remember what it was like before you had your prosthetics.”
“That’s a little hard to believe.”
She smiled. “And yet, it is true. You’ll see, Tycho.”
11
When Samara finally left, Raven sat down next to me again. I stared up at the ceiling, thinking. She just watched me for a few minutes, but when I didn’t say anything, she finally decided to speak up.
“That was a lot, huh?”
I turned my eyes from the ceiling tiles and glanced in her direction.
“I feel exhausted.”
“I’ll let you rest for a bit. What did you think of the doctor?”
“She seems to know what she’s doing, I’ll give her that.”
Raven grinned. “You think?”
“Okay, so she definitely knows what she’s doing. And she’s good at communicating clearly with the patient.”
“Listen to you, talking about yourself like you were someone else.”
“I am, aren’t I? I guess I’d rather think of this as someone else’s problem.”
“I know you would, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you. That’s how people end up not dealing with what’s happened to them, and not dealing with that shit is how you end up with other problems. It’s better to face it head-on, Tycho.”
“It’s that easy?”
“No, I suppose it isn’t. I get it, Tycho, I do. The last thing you want to think about right now is how much has just changed, but you’re not alone.” She placed her hand on my chest.
I closed my eyes, maybe to get away from the intensely focused look on Raven’s face. It was an unfamiliar thing to have someone so genuinely invested in me. I didn’t know what to do with it.
“Samara was the favor,” she continued.
“Huh?” I opened my eyes again. “What favor?”
“You remember I told you that Andrea had gone off-world to call a favor in?”
“Yeah...”
“Well, that’s why Samara is with us. Andrea went out and collected her.”
“What, she kidnapped her?”
Raven stifled a laugh but raised her eyebrows in a way that made me think I wasn’t too far off. “No, nothing so dramatic. But Samara wouldn’t be here at all if Andrea hadn’t made it happen, and that was far from easy for her to do.”
“Why is that?”
She stood up from the chair, took the glass from the small tray, and poured herself a drink of water from the sink. Leaning against the counter, she sipped thoughtfully. “I’ve known Andrea for a while now,” she said. “We’ve gotten drunk together. We’ve had plenty of late-night conversations. You know the kind I’m talking about, where you wander all over every topic in the world and you end up getting to know each other?”
I nodded, thinking of Sophie. “It’s been a while, but yeah. I’ve had a few of those myself.”
“Well, in all those conversations with Andrea, she’s mentioned her birth mother to me maybe twice.” Raven put her glass down on the sink and folded her arms. “I’ve never known her to call her mother. I’ve never known her to take a call from her mother. To put it simply, Andrea acted as if her mother was dead, and for a time, that’s what I’d assumed. I don’t know all the facts, but I think it has something to do with her augments. As a kid, she was badly hurt in the Martian Blackout.”
“She told me a story about a girl in the Blackout. I assumed it was all about her.”
“That tracks; she’s very dissociative on the rare occasion she speaks about it. I think she blames her mother for not being there when it happened, or for doing illegal surgeries, or something only she knows. I’m not sure of the details.”
It took me until just then to grasp what Raven was telling me. I’d seen the similarity in their faces, but the truth of the situation just hadn’t crossed my mind. “Are you telling me Samara Markov is Andrea’s mother?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you, yes. As soon as we saw your injuries, Andrea left and tracked down her mother. The mother she never talks to. The one she obviously hates. And she brought her back here to perform the surgery.”
It was hard to imagine anyone hating someone as calm and disarming as Dr. Markov. On the other hand, the mother Andrea had described was a black market surgeon, the kind of person who built Augmen for a living. Those two impressions didn’t mesh well, but maybe there was more to the doctor than her bedside manner suggested.
“I don’t know what to say. I need to thank Andrea.”
“I don’t think I’d recommend that, personally. I doubt she wants to talk about it at all. I just thought you’d want to know that Andrea did that for you.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Andrea had clearly gone to great lengths for me, but instead of gratitude I was more concerned with why she’d done so much than appreciative of the fact that it happened. I was questioning the motives of a helping hand. That was the kind of paranoia with no end, so I pushed the thought aside and focused on the present moment.
“Okay, I think I’m ready to try and get up now.”
“Take it slowly,” Raven said as she walked over to help me up. “You probably won’t feel stable on your new legs for a few days. I’ve got some clothes for you here.” She pointed to a neatly folded pile on the counter.
“You’re going to make me get dressed?”
“I’m not walking a half-nude man around the building. People might get the wrong idea about me.”
“Fair enough.”
She picked up the pile of clothes and handed it to me. The idea of getting dressed in front of Raven was a little odd, but she seemed to take it so much for granted that I didn’t say anything. I just started the slow and laborious process of figuring out how my fingers worked so I could take off my hospital gown and get my shirt on.