After a half hour of silence, when I figured it was a safe bet Mom wouldn’t come out to wish me goodnight, I flicked on the light. Pulling open the heating grate, I found the bad news, and the reason Dom had been in a good mood when I got home this evening.
He’d searched my room before I got home and found my meager wad of bills. It didn’t amount to anything compared to what he and Mom had hidden in the cookie tins, but to me, it represented a lifeline to freedom—a little extra food money. To him, it meant he’d tightened the leash on me.
I couldn’t leave without money, and he thought he’d just cleaned me out. It would hurt not to have that extra buffer, but staying here another day, much less another week, suddenly looked insane.
Dom would drag us to a bank, and instead of getting lucky, it would be the opposite. If I didn’t get shot, I’d be arrested and sent to jail for enough years to make living with Dom seem like a vacation.
He liked to gamble, and living with him had taught me to be exactly the opposite. I craved stability, normalcy, and consistency. Every day I stayed now was a gamble as to whether it would be the day Dom tried another robbery.
Once had been more than enough for me. What if he shot another person, and this time the person died? What then?
How could I live with myself, knowing I’d been involved in something like that? That would add another nightmare to my list—almost dying, losing my parents, and being involved in a shooting. What a trifecta of nightmares to choose from.
I was done letting them determine my fate. It was time to take charge of my own future. From now on, I wasn’t taking orders. If my life was going to get fucked up, it would be because of a choice I made, not one made for me or forced upon me. My first choice: leave now before it got even worse here. I’d have to make do with less money than I’d planned, but so be it. That was my choice, and I’d deal with the consequences.
I quietly opened my door and snuck out to check the table where he always dropped his keys.
Lady Luck was with me. My car key was there, under his key ring. The other copy was in Mom’s purse, and it would have taken a miracle to get to that one.
Quietly, I lifted the key and returned to my room to grab my backpack and duffle. Going through my drawers, I selected what I thought would fit. It wouldn’t be much, but it would have to last me until I got a job. Sneaking out to the kitchen, I grabbed two shopping bags. My eyes lingered on the cabinets a moment, but taking some of the cookie tin money was out of the question. It was stolen, tainted. Spending it would make me a criminal just like Dom. I’d only been in the bank because I’d been forced. Spending the stolen money would be a conscious decision to do something illegal, and that wasn’t a step I would take.
Upstairs, I filled one bag with my jackets and the other with more clothes and my library books. I wouldn’t stiff the library. They had an outside drop off I could use to return them.
After another pass around my room, I turned off my phone and put it in my dresser drawer underneath my underwear. I couldn’t chance Dom getting his cousin the cop to trace my phone. Hefting my load, I looked around my room and closed the door behind me one last time. I could call Mom to say goodbye after I was safely out of state. But right now, I needed to get the hell out of dodge. There was no way staying another day would turn out well.
The front door let out a squeak when I closed it, but I didn’t wait around to see if it had been loud enough to wake them. I threw my load into my car and closed the driver’s side door to cocoon myself in my little metal chariot. I breathed a sigh of relief when no lights came on inside the house.
Before I turned the key, I made a silent prayer and patted the steering wheel. “Please, little one, don’t let me down.” Sometimes for no reason, my car cranked forever before the engine caught and coughed to life.
I turned the key.
This was not going to be one of those times. The rough rumble of the engine sounded quickly, and I was in gear and backing out to the street. The turn toward town was made out of instinct.
A few blocks away, I realized my plan might have a hole in it.
Dom had confiscated my driver’s license, as well as my keys. I was out of the house with my car, but without my license. I’d snuck my birth certificate last week and hidden it in the side pocket of my purse in case I needed it in the new state. The way I figured it, working out the new identity would have to wait until I was safely set up far away.
I pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. It was time to take stock of my situation. I could sneak back into the house if they hadn’t woken up. I’d have to find a time later to steal my license back and leave again, but that was too risky. I could end up in an even worse position than now if Dom had woken, or even if he moved my car key to a different place.
Originally, I’d expected to start driving and pull my cash out as I needed it on the trip, but that wasn’t going to work. At the local branch in the supermarket, they knew me, and I didn’t need to show ID anymore. Once I left town, that would change, and I wouldn’t have access to my bank account until I replaced the license. That would take weeks. The birth certificate wouldn’t suffice as a picture ID. Without the cash kitty from my room, I was up shit creek.
The gauge showed less than a quarter tank of gas. I wasn’t getting very far without money anyway. This town was my prison until the bank branch in the grocery opened tomorrow morning.
The diner was closed, and so was the library. Annie was out of town with her boyfriend, and I needed a place to stay the night. No money meant no hotel room, and I was down to one ugly option.
The engine cranked up again when I turned the key. After a U-turn, I headed toward the only person I thought would take me in at this time of night.
At the next stop sign, a van on the cross street reached it before I did. I waited for him to go, but he didn’t budge.
Another car came up behind me and honked for me to get going.
“Okay already,” I yelled in my empty car and started through the intersection.
In the dim light, the van driver just stared at me as I crossed.
My rearview mirror showed him crossing after I’d cleared the intersection.
Stubborn idiot.
At the apartment building, instead of parking in a visitor slot in front, I chose to park out of sight from the road, behind the building. It took me a few minutes to gather up my courage. This could be a big-ass mistake, but I didn’t see a ready alternative. I’d bailed from my house, I didn’t have any money for a room, and even McDonald’s would close up tonight. It was this or sleep in my car.
People slept in cars all the time, didn’t they? But probably not when they had a choice.
I reclined my seat. It didn’t go very far back. Closing my eyes, I could quickly see this wasn’t going to work well. Without a blanket, the backseat wouldn’t be much better. It was just another thing I hadn’t planned for. If I’d thought ahead about my trip, I could have grabbed a pillow and blankets for the car. It would only have taken one more trip into the house.
Tonight dumb and impulsive seemed to be my middle names. Tomorrow I would have to slow things down and make better plans and better decisions—especially without as much money as I’d wanted to have for the trip.
With my backpack and purse, I headed inside.
Upstairs, I knocked on the apartment door.