“I know what you saw, but it isn’t what you think.”
“What I think? I’m not thinking anything. I’m trying not to think because all I can come up with is how … awkward it is. Sure, I fantasized about hooking up with a teacher, but actually doing it is a whole different story. This is just … weird.”
“I’m sorry you had to see us like that. Please, can we go talk somewhere in private?” I ask, grabbing her hand.
“I don’t know …” She bites her lip. “Fine, but only if you tell me exactly what’s going on. No lies.”
I nod and take her to a small corner where no one else seems to bother coming. “Look. Thomas and I … Mr. Hard, we’ve been involved for a few days now.”
“You mean this has been going on longer than just today?” She makes a face. “Is this because I told you to look at his ass?” She narrows her eyes. “I didn’t know you’d actually jump on him.”
“No …” I shush her. “Be quiet. I don’t want anyone else to hear.”
She frowns. “Well, you could’ve kissed somewhere else too, but you didn’t. I was only going to ask him if he’d already graded my papers, and then I found you two smooching like two crazy lovebirds.”
“I know how it must look to you, but I’m not using him, and he isn’t using me.”
She places her hand on her side. “Then why? Why would you hook up with him? You know he’s your teacher, right?”
“No shit, I haven’t forgotten. Why do you think we were hiding?”
“Good job hiding with the door unlocked, dimwit.”
We throw each other shade until we both sigh.
“Okay … I meant to tell you, but …” I take a deep breath. “Thomas is actually the same guy I fucked a few days ago. The one from the club that I told you about.”
She takes in a sharp breath. “No …”
“Yes.”
She leans in. “The one who took your virginity?”
“Uh-huh.”
“No …”
I chuckle a little. “Yes. How many times do you want me to say it?”
“I don’t fucking believe it,” she says.
“Well, you’d better because it’s the truth.”
“Oh my god …”
“I know; it’s a bit hard to believe I had sex with our professor.”
“You’ve been lying to me all this time …” she says, pursing her lips.
“No, I just didn’t tell you. Big difference.”
“How could you not tell me? It’s like the single most important detail.”
“I didn’t know, okay? I didn’t know he was my professor. And when I did find out, I felt so humiliated; I just wanted to forget about it.”
“Oh, my god …” She puts her hand over her forehead like she just got a premonition. “So that’s why you left when we had our first class. You said you were sick.” She points at me. “Lie.”
“Guilty.” I raise my hands. “Look, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to lie to you. It just … happened.”
“Like you just happened to fuck your goddamn teacher.”
I shrug, and she rolls up a paper in her hand and slaps me on the head, making me laugh. “Are you outta your mind?” she yells. “Do you even know how stupid this all sounds?”
“Yes! Stop,” I say, still laughing, trying to snatch the paper, but she’s way quicker than I am.
“You fucked your fucking teacher. If that isn’t fifty shades of fucked up, I don’t know what is.”
“Well … he does like kinky shit.” I burst out into more laughter when I see her face all scrunched up.
“Oh my god, that is not the fucking point!” She smacks me again. “You lied!”
“Okay, I get it, and I’m sorry,” I say, finally managing to steal the paper from her.
“I just caught you kissing our goddamn teacher.”
“I know, and I’m fucking embarrassed.”
She frowns. “Then why are you even coming close to him? Why even put yourself in that position? It only makes it harder.”
“Well, I can’t not come to class, can I?”
“Not. What. I. Mean.” She takes the paper back and tucks it into her backpack.
“Yes, we kissed. And it’s probably not the last time either.”
She cocks her head. “That’s what I mean. It’s not an accident if it happens twice.”
“Okay. You’re right. I can’t resist him.”
“And he can’t resist you either …” she muses. “So what are you gonna do now? You can’t continue this. You know it’s not allowed.”
“I know, but … I don’t know if I can stop. If I really want to.”
She’s quiet for a second, but the look on her face says it all.
“Can you forgive me for lying to you?”
Her lips turn to thin lines. “I don’t know …”
“Do I have to beg you?” I pout, which makes her forcefully push away her smile.
“Fine, I forgive you for lying, but that doesn’t mean what you’re doing is okay.”
“I know, but please don’t judge me.”
“I’m not judging. I’m disappointed. I’m worried about you,” she says, swallowing. “I thought you lost your virginity to some random guy, not our damn teacher. This is so awkward. Like how are you gonna sit in class knowing he’s seen you naked?”
I raise my brows and slam my lips together, shrugging.
“You haven’t even thought about it? What about the consequences? What if someone finds out?”
“You found out …” I mutter.
“Exactly. So basically, you’re already screwed.”
“Please, don’t tell anyone,” I plead, putting up my pouty face. “Please?”
She sighs. “You’re asking me to be your accomplice?”
“I’m only asking if you can just pretend you never saw anything.”
“But I did.” She raises one brow.
“Please …” I grab her hand. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”
“It’s against school policy. It could get you kicked out. It could get him fired. Why do you wanna risk it?” she asks, cocking her head sympathetically.
“Because I …” I look down at the floor. “He gives me something no one else ever has. I need it.” I look up at her. “Please understand. This is the only way I can deal with my life right now.”
“With him?”
“I need this. I need … whatever it is that he’s offering.”
She lets out a short sigh and nods slowly. “All right. I get it.”
“So you’ll keep it a secret?”
“Fine, yes, but I don’t wanna be involved in anything.” She grabs my arm. “I’m not gonna vouch for you if shit goes down. I can’t lie for you. I can keep it a secret, but I’m not gonna put my reputation or my spot in college on the line.”
“I understand, and I won’t ever ask that of you. I just want this to stay under the radar. That’s all.”