“Do you even go to church?” I’m not even being a smart-ass, I genuinely have no idea.
“I go to Bible study every week.” She scrunches her nose. “Well, almost every week.”
I roll my eyes, but decide not to make a snarky comment considering that’s still way more than what I do. “Well, do you want me to tell you or not?”
She doesn’t answer right away. Instead she locks my office door and plops down on the couch like she’s prepping for a session with her therapist.
“Okay”—she adjusts my martini-print throw pillow behind her head—“now I’m ready. Tea, please.”
And to think I ever complained of loneliness before.
“I lost count of how many times I came. And one of those times, swear to god, was from him kissing me.”
Vonnie’s eyes widen and the carefully positioned pillow is long forgotten as she shoots off the couch. “I knew it!” she yells. “I knew his shy, fine ass was hiding all sorts of treats below the surface.”
“So many treats.” My eyelids feel heavy just thinking about all the activities from last night . . . and this morning. “I honestly don’t know how he doesn’t have a bevy of brokenhearted, sex-with-everyone-else-is-ruined-forever women following him around.”
I’m sure if I googled hard enough, I’d find a fan club or something. I add it to the running to-do list floating around my mind.
“I need more,” Vonnie demands. “How many condoms did you go through? Did you use condoms? Did his kisses travel south? How well endowed is he?”
“Oh my god.” My hands fly to my eyes as my skin burns from a head-to-toe blush.
This.
This is why I didn’t want to talk about it. My friends might have boundaries, but if they do, I haven’t found them yet.
“Oh no.” Vonnie is suddenly in front of me, peeling my hands from my eyes. “You don’t get to wuss out of this. You are the ringleader of getting all the details out of us, and if you don’t start to spill, I’m calling in reinforcements.”
Dammit. I guess I should discover boundaries as well. I curse my adorably curious nature.
“Ugh, fine!” I throw my hands up in the air before sitting on the now-empty couch. “But if you mutter a single word to Justin about this, I will hunt you down and hurt you.”
Her head jerks back and her lips curl in disgust. “Obviously. We barely discuss our sex life, we are definitely not discussing yours.”
“Fine.” I narrow my eyes, but inside I’m bouncing with glee to brag about the literal best sex of my life. Maybe the best sex in the world. “We went through four condoms. His mouth moved south. He did it so well and so often that my lady bits are still quivering.” At this Vonnie’s smile grows so big, I’m concerned it’s going to damage her facial muscles. “And let’s just say that angels rejoiced when he was created because he is blessed between the legs.”
“Big?” Vonnie asks, clearly in need of more details.
I nod, my eyebrows reaching my hairline. “In every sense of the word.”
“Damn.” She falls onto the couch beside me. “Now the next time he passes me in those tight-ass pants he wears so well, I’m not going to be able to look at anything else.”
“Me either,” I say. Even though this is definitely not a new problem.
The shrill ringing of my office phone breaks up the heavy silence in the room.
I jump off the couch and lunge for the pink rotary phone I paid a stupid amount for. If possible, I don’t like it to ring more than three times, and since I’m sitting by it, I want to get it before the second.
“Thank you for calling HERS, Brynn speaking.” I rattle off my customary greeting.
“Hey, Boss.” Maxwell’s deep voice flows through the phone, causing goose bumps to cover my arms.
“Hey,” I say. A goofy-ass grin spreads across my face, and I see Vonnie’s face brighten out of the corner of my eyes.
“I know it’s late notice, but I wanted to see if you could get off early tonight and I could take you out?”
It takes every single ounce of discipline in my body not to crack a joke about getting off with him, but thankfully, I manage. “I’m sure I could figure something out. What time were you thinking?”
“I was hoping to get you at around six. Does that work?”
I wish I could say I’m being a responsible business owner and thinking about all of the emails I have yet to send or promotions I have yet to make before agreeing, but I don’t. Instead, the opportunity to go on a date with Maxwell—my orgasm-inducing boyfriend—eclipses all of my responsibilities. “Yes,” I damn near shout into the phone. I flip off Vonnie as she dissolves into a fit of laughter across the room. “Six is perfect. From my place or HERS?”
“Dress code for tonight is no jeans,” he says. “So I’m thinking your place?”
“My place,” I agree, looking down at my denim-covered legs.
“Thought so.” I can hear the laughter in his voice, but it doesn’t bother me. Instead, my heart warms at how well he knows me already.
“Then I’ll see you—” I start my farewell, but Maxwell cuts me off.
“Just so you know, there should be a delivery for you soon. So keep an eye out.”
“Really?” My smile widens and I start to bounce on my toes, childlike excitement taking over. “I love deliveries!”
I may have never been in a serious relationship before, but tons of my friends have. So when they started talking love languages and all that crap, I didn’t want to feel left out and took the quiz too. Gifts are so my love language. Next is quality time, then physical touch . . . a checklist Maxwell is thoroughly marking off.
His laughter flows through the phone. “You don’t even know what it is.”
“Doesn’t matter. The UPS man is my fave—er . . . second favorite man. I mean, you know what I mean.” Smooth, Brynn. Real fucking smooth. I squeeze my eyes closed, cringing at the way only I could turn this conversation unbearably awkward.
“I know what you mean,” he says. But I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s just saying it because he’s nice and doesn’t want me to feel like a complete idiot.
“Okay, then I’m going to hang up before I make a bigger ass out of myself. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Tonight,” he promises with a smile in his voice.
I put the phone back on the receiver, not trusting myself to say anything else.