This was not the start to my birthday I had in mind. In fact, all I had in mind was going to work, getting dinner, checking in on Ivy, and going to bed. I’d gotten bored of my birthday a long time before now, and all I had to celebrate at twenty-nine was the fact I only had one year left until I was officially thirty.
Something about thirty sounded a hell of a lot older than twenty-nine.
Not in terms of age, per se, but in terms of maturity. Like I should be married with kids in a cute little house and have a Labrador.
Not a fake marriage with my next-door neighbor, a baby conceived in a drunken one-night stand, a rented apartment, and no pets.
Unless my sister counted because she was sure as shit starting to feel like one.
I dragged myself out of bed and tugged on some boxers and shorts before I left the room and walked into the living room.
I froze.
There was a huge banner strung up at the window that screamed happy birthday, and there were at least twenty balloons scattered across the floor. Streamers hung from the light fixtures, giving the room a very happy-first-birthday look as opposed to… happy twenty-ninth time of doing this bullshit.
“What,” I said slowly, “Have you done to my poor apartment?”
Anna stood in front of me and slowly, purposefully, blew out one of those little horn tooter things.
“I’m going to work,” I muttered, turning away from the birthday explosion in front of me.
She dropped the tooty horn and stared at me. “It’s six-thirty, Kai. That’s too early.”
“I’ll walk,” I replied dryly.
“I baked you a cake.” Her tone was bright. “With sprinkles.”
I rubbed my hand down my face and turned around, meeting her gaze. “Anna, don’t take this the wrong way, but I think it’s time you went home.”
My sister sighed. “I had a feeling you were going to say that. You’re right. I’ve been thinking that for a few days, but you’ve been so busy…”
“If you want to go, go.” My lips twitched. “You don’t need to stay here because you feel some misguided sense of needing to look after me.”
“Okay, good. ‘Cause I was gonna leave a week ago, but Mom was worried you’d have a breakdown.”
“What am I breaking down about? The fact I still can’t get some peace and quiet from my siblings eleven years after leaving home?”
She swatted me with her tooty party horn. “The baby.”
“I’m not having a breakdown about the baby.”
“Ivy told me you spent thirty dollars on a bear from a claw machine.”
“In what world is that a breakdown?” I detoured to the kitchen and hit the button to turn on the coffee machine. “I saw Dad spend more than that on stuffed animals you wanted.”
She paused. “That’s not the same thing. I was an annoying little kid.”
“You’re still an annoying little kid.”
“I’m older than you.”
“Then act like it.”
“I don’t wanna,” she shot back, grinning. “What are you doing today?”
I side-eyed her, pulling a mug down from the cupboard. “I’m going to go take a shower, go to work, check in with Ivy, then go to bed. Just like any other day.”
“But it’s your birthday!”
“If you like my birthday so much, why don’t you have it?”
“I have my own and it’s better than yours.”
“Are you sure you’re thirty?”
“You’re only as young as the man you feel, Kai, and I plan to find me a younger man.”
I grimaced. “Then by all means, please go and find him.”
My sister grinned again. “Can I bring him back here?”
“You just said you were going home.”
“Yeah, but back home is, uh, Mom’s house.”
I raised my eyebrows as I cradled my coffee cup. “You said he was moving out.”
Anna sighed and perched on the arm of the sofa. “He was, but our landlord was his dad’s friend. He flipped the script on him, told him I was the cheater, and he took me off the lease. All my stuff is in storage right now.”
Well, shit.
“Well, shit.” My mouth echoed my brain. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m a single, homeless thirty-year-old woman? I don’t want to move back into our parents’ place, but I don’t have the savings to get my own apartment right now. It went on our vacation that I can’t cancel because travel insurance doesn’t cover cheating scumbags.”
“Well, I’d imagine they do put that in the small print.”
“Not helping.”
I walked over and lightly knocked my fist into her arm. “You don’t have to go anywhere.”
“Really?”
“You’ve gotta pay rent,” I warned her. “We’re splitting all the utilities, too, and you’re responsible for your own food.”
“Obviously. Although I did finish your Doritos last night.”
“Then you owe me a bag of Doritos.”
“Seems fair.”
“And you’ll stop barging in on me when I’m naked.”
“Hey, you should start locking your doors.”
“Fair point,” I acquiesced. “How about we both agree to knock?”
“Done.”
We shook on it because we were, you know, adults.
Although I did think she was going to spit in her hand there for a little while…
“I’m gonna take a shower,” I said, finishing my coffee. “And I’ll lock the door.”
Anna clicked her tongue and pointed a finger gun at me. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her and headed to the bathroom for my shower. It was hot and quick, and only a few minutes had passed when I was done.
I locked myself in my bedroom and checked my phone. There were three unread messages, all from Ivy. Panic flashed through me, and I rushed to unlock my phone and read them.
IVY: Do you know why there are streamers in the hall?
IVY: Oh, I just saw your sister. Never mind.
IVY: I didn’t know it was your birthday.
I had a lot of ways I could answer those texts, so I went for the one that avoided my birthday entirely.
ME: Why are you awake so early? And in the hall?
IVY: …Funny story.
ME: I got time.
IVY: I woke up to pee and felt sick.
I knew where this was going.
IVY: Went to get water and the trash can was the nearest safe place, so I had to take the bag out.
ME: Are you okay?
IVY: No.
ME: Why? What’s wrong? Do you need me to come over?
IVY: I’m mad you didn’t tell me it was your birthday.
I sagged back onto the bed. What was it with women and birthdays? Was it a general female thing, or had I merely surrounded myself with birthday lovers?
ME: I don’t really celebrate my birthday.
IVY: HOW CAN YOU NOT CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY?