“What? How'd that happen? Did that motherfucker do something?” His fists clenched at his side.
“No! It just happens. Jake, she didn't want to freak you out!”
“Good work.” He grunted. “What hospital? I'm in Jacksonville now.” It slipped out. So much for a surprise visit.
“You are? Coral Beach—”
“—For how long? I was gonna stop for the night but I can get there in five hours.”
“Get your rest Jake, it's better. She'll be there at least another day. I'm going in the morning.”
What should I do? It was hard to think clearly. “I don't know if I can sleep. Keep her phone on, okay? I may hang out here for a few hours, but I'll be there first thing in the morning.”
As he lay back, contemplating the conversation, the poisonous doubts seeped in all their glory.
She is definitely hiding something, something to do with Logan. I don’t get how she still covers for him after all the crap he put her through. Unless that’s a lie also.
Marching back and forth his apprehension sky-rocketed.
I have to shut my mind down; I have to get some sleep.
Meditation and yoga worked most of the time; it didn’t hurt to give it a shot. All of a sudden he desperately longed for a shower and some food. He needed all the strength he could get. He had a long drive ahead of him.
MONDAY
KRISTEN
2:00 a.m. and the cot in the NICU, cut into her back. Tossing and turning no longer worked. Alex was at peace, asleep like a little angel. It hurt to look at him, the need to hold him overwhelming. With great reluctance, she gave in and returned to the semi comfort of the hospital bed. It was torture without her phone. All she could do was hope Alicia would be by early and she'd get it.
The nurse came in just as she was nodding off. More blood. Her veins were already achy, but she was too tired to argue. Her mind filled with jumbled thoughts, Logan, Jake, maybe it would put her to sleep.
Around 9:00 a.m. they wanted more blood. What were these people? Vampires? She was so sleepy. Only six or seven hours of sleep was never enough.
The doctor came in just as a light knock sounded on the door.
Alicia. Thank goodness. But why did she look so strange? Maybe it’s sleep deprivation causing my mind to play tricks on me.
By the time her vision cleared up, the examination was over and Alicia returned to her side.
“The doctor said if my fever stays down I could leave around six tonight.” Why aren’t I super happy about this? I can’t even manage a tiny smile.
“That's great news, Kris! Here's your phone.” Alicia handed it to her, immediately turning her face downward.
“What's wrong? Tired?” Kristen held her phone, absentmindedly going through the text log. Glancing up every so often at Alicia, she tried to figure out why she was different. Jake had texted. He was freaking out about not reaching her. Nothing from the bastard. With a sigh, she moved to her call log. Nothing from Logan again. Jake had called. She put it away.
Alicia watched her the entire time. “I guess. Are you coming home with me then?”
Why not? There was no way she could go back there. One of them would end up dead next time.
She nodded numbly.
There was an undeniable tension in the room. “Did you wanna talk about something? If it's about Logan...” Alicia’s voice trailed off.
Kristen shook her head, a helpless look dulled her eyes. She really didn’t want to go there. “Don't worry, he didn't even call.”
Alicia looked pale. Kristen changed the topic. “Time for Alex's feeding. Wanna go?”
“You go, I'll be right there,” Alicia acted like she needed to make a call, settling back in the chair.
Unable to sit still any longer, Kristen shrugged, anxious to leave. Her nerves were on edge for some reason. It hit her out of the blue, but was electrifying. She needed to see her baby.
JAKE
He kept ringing her. No answer again. Shit! Alicia is supposed to pick up! Why isn’t she?
When he finally pulled into the parking lot of Coral Beach Medical Center, the sun was already scorching. With quick strides past the several tall palm trees, he entered the hospital. Maybe he'd slept three hours, possibly four. An unusual excitement bubbled in his veins, building in intensity as he approached the information desk. Visiting hours started at ten a.m. He had fifteen stressful minutes. Then up to the third floor, room 303.
Calm down Jake. It's not a first date! He burst out laughing, then shut up when he realized people were focused on him. They probably all thought he was crazy. It wasn't New York—here they noticed. He stared at the ground, an unstoppable smile pasted across his face. It was hard to decide if he should pass by the baby first. There was still some time to make a decision.
Alicia continued stalling, ignoring the nurses that kept peeking into the room. She had only seen Jake in a photo but knew it was him the second she spotted him trotting down the hall.
His eyes were aimed at her, unblinking. She seemed like the type of woman that Kristen would be friends with—he could sense her warmth even before he got close. He squinted, stopped in front of her and peeked inside the room.
She’s not in there! His heart sank. He searched her big brown eyes.
“Are you Alicia?” He tried to clear the hoarseness from his throat.
She tilted her head all the way back, looking up at him, absorbing his tired, excited face. A huge grin spread across her face. “Jake? Nice to meet you.” She thrust her hand at him. He shook it eagerly, then stepped back.
“Where is she?” The unbearable nervousness made it impossible to stay still. Alicia's eyes darted down the hall.
“With the baby?” he followed her line of vision.
“Yeah. I couldn't tell her you were coming…”
“That's cool. Let's go.” He took a deep breath after she turned away. In an instant he was lost in a dream, floating on air, his numb legs propelling his body along.
* * *
“That was a big one!” Kristen burst out laughing.
The nurse on duty, a tall Jamaican woman she'd never seen before, wore a gigantic smile, her exuberance contagious. “He's a big boy now!”
“I know! Oops!” Kristen wrinkled her nose, shifting the baby in her arms to avoid being soaked by the liquid he spewed out. Luckily it was only on the bib they’d given her. The nurse chuckled, immediately replacing it with a clean one.
“He's too impatient!” Kristen laughed, gently rocking him. Her cheek blended into his, the silky softness of his skin and wispy curls, mesmerizing her. She remained lost in the moment, the pain of being restricted from holding or touching him, washed away.
Jake stood transfixed, gazing through the large window of the NICU. His eyes glassy, his heart pounding up a storm, he watched them. After all those months when she dominated his dreams, she was actually sitting a few feet in front of him, more beautiful and vibrant than ever. And now, he couldn't move.
He felt Alicia’s gentle touch on his arm. “Do you want to go in? Or should I?”
Why was her voice so low? He could not make out one word she said or speak. His hand seemed to have a life of its own when started tapping on the window, again and again.