Quaid is leaning forward against the kitchen sink, his eyes fixed to our backyard. His face is just as pensive as mine must be. With Carter and Logan at my heel, I snap my head to both of them, intent on getting to the bottom of whatever is going on.
“What happened while I was gone?”
“Nothing. Don’t even worry about it,” Logan tries to placate, moving past me and getting the kettle to pour some water in.
“Something happened. All three of you look angry. Why?”
Quaid scoffs at that, turning around to face us with his arms crossed over his impressive chest.
“Quaid, what’s wrong?”
“Everything is wrong, Val! I’ve got two dipshits for best friends who don’t see reason and a girlfriend who refuses to make up her mind.”
“Quaid, don’t start. It’s not the time,” Logan warns through gritted teeth, turning the stove on.
“No! I’m sick of keeping my mouth shut!”
“If you have something to say, then say it,” I counter forcefully, feeling his anger vibrate all throughout the room.
“I can’t do this anymore, Val. I’ve tried to be there for you, tried to give you what you need, but it’s slowly eating me alive.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Jesus, Val! Can’t you see? This,” he points at the rest of us, “isn’t normal. We aren’t normal, and what we are doing sure as shit isn’t normal.”
“And since when have you been concerned about what’s normal?” Logan curses back at him. “Stop being a prick and keep your mouth shut.”
“No,” Carter suddenly adds in from behind me, breaking the uneasy silence in the room. “Let Quaid say his piece.”
“Carter,” Logan starts to hiss, running his fingers frustratingly through his blond hair. “Don’t you start this shit now, too.”
The whistle of the kettle begins to blow, and I walk over to it to turn the burner off, since Carter and Logan have decided to have a staring contest. Once that is dealt with, I turn around and face the bitter resentment on all of their faces.
“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?”
“Should I tell her, or do you want to do the honors?” Carter clips back at Logan.
An eerie pregnant pause ensues as they stare daggers at each other.
“What happened this weekend was a mistake,” Quaid announces suddenly, his low mumbled words slicing through the silence.
“W-What?” I stutter, needing to hold on to a kitchen chair to keep my balance.
“Jesus, Quaid! Just shut the fuck up and let me talk to her!” Logan castigates, fury in his eyes. He then turns to face me from across the kitchen table, trying hard to hide the bubbling rage inside him, but it’s no use. It’s such a living breathing thing, that I can almost taste its acid bile on the tip of my tongue. “When you left this morning, we got to talking. We haven’t exactly had a moment to be alone with each other all weekend, so when you left to see your mother, we finally laid out what we were all thinking. Feeling.”
“What do you mean?”
The light in Logan’s blue eyes dim, right before he bows his head away from me.
“Have a seat, Valentina,” Carter orders.
“No, I’m fine right here,” I reply defiantly.
“Suit yourself,” he retorts, grabbing a chair and sitting down, his long legs stretched out to the other chair at his side.
He puts his hands behind his head and looks over at Quaid, since Logan seems to be struggling to continue.
“You started this, now you finish it,” he announces cryptically.
There is a sinister smile on Quaid’s face, one I have only seen him use on the football field. It’s the same glower he uses against his adversaries to get them to falter. Why he’s using it now against his best friends—his family—is beyond me, and frankly, just as unsettling as this whole conversation.
“Val, it’s time,” he deadpans.
“Time for what?”
“To choose. You have to choose, Valentina,” Carter adds, his eyes still locked with Quaid’s.
“Where is this coming from?” My heart leaps up to my throat at what they are suggesting.
“Don’t act like this is something you weren’t expecting to happen. Sooner or later, we would all end up here. Whether you want it or not,” Carter snaps cruelly.
“Enough! This is not the time for this shit. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation. Not now.”
“Then when, Logan?!” Carter exclaims, slamming his fists on my kitchen table, making the wooden legs scrape on the tile floor.
“Carter’s right. It’s now or never,” Quaid defends.
Logan sends them both such a hateful stare, I cringe inside.
They’re falling apart.
Years of friendship now filled with nothing but hate, resentment, and animosity.
They’re crumbling, and I’m the guilty instrument that shattered their perfect union.
“Here’s the thing,” Logan starts, calm again, always the logical one of our foursome as he tries to be the voice of reason among all this madness. “Quaid came to us today with a proposal, and we turned him down. And instead of the jackass just licking his wounds and bruised ego like he should, he’s having a tantrum.”
“You know what? Fuck you, Logan!” Quaid spits out, his open palms slamming on the table.
My head is swarming with panic at the dense hostility in the room, my heart cut in two and sliced open with each brutal word they fling at each other. Where once the bonds of love and friendship ruled between them, only malice and spite breathe in them now.
I did this.
Me.
“What was your proposal?” I whisper, trying desperately to pretend that I’m not witnessing their brotherhood go up in flames.
Quaid’s eyes soften a little, but not enough to soothe my breaking heart.
“Logan is going off to Princeton in the fall, and Carter will be on his self-discovery to lord knows where. I’m going to Alabama. That’s close, Val. Close to your college in California and close to you. I should be the one who takes care of you.”
“Am I some wounded bird that needs to be taken care of? Is that how you all see me?”
“No, Princess. That’s not what I meant. I was just trying to make these guys see reason. I can give you what you need. They can’t.”
“For now. We can’t for now,” Logan retorts, sounding aggravated.
“And why should she have to wait for you two to get your shit together?” Quaid belts out.
“Because you’re not the only one she loves!”
Quaid thins his lips and crosses his arms once more over his chest at Logan’s statement.
“But she does love me, Logan. Even if that eats you up inside.”
I bite my lower lips so hard, I feel my teeth pierce through my flesh.
“So this is what you were up to while I was away, this morning, huh? Lining up my future. Making decisions for me that weren’t yours to make and destroying years of friendship as a result.”
“Our friendship was doomed the minute you moved to our street,” Carter states unrepentantly.
My shoulders begin to shake profusely at Carter’s truth—at their truth that I was too blind to see before.