It would enrage my father, my twin brother, Drew, and my fiancé, Trent, if they saw me, but that thought only spurs me on, strengthening my resolve.
He stands, holding me to him, and I tighten my legs around his waist as he walks toward the bedroom. Our mouths never separate as he lowers me to the bed, and we gradually shed our outer layers.
I’ve never been naked in front of any guy before. Trent repeatedly tries to strip me bare, but I enjoy denying him. Now, I spread my legs for this beautiful, rugged stranger, with no hint of nerves or vulnerability, admiring his gorgeous body as he pulls a condom out of his bedside table and rolls it over his impressive length.
We don’t talk, but words are redundant. He settles between my thighs, bringing his hot mouth to my pussy, and I almost lift off the bed as he devours me with his tongue and his fingers, quickly bringing me over the edge.
No man has ever done that to me before, and the pleasurable sensations coursing through my body are wholly new. When I come down from the best orgasm of my life, he climbs over me, kissing me passionately as his hands caress my small breasts. His roughened fingers tweak my nipples like he’s plucking strings on a guitar, rolling them skillfully until they’re taut peaks, and it’s not long before I’m writhing in need again.
He positions himself at my entrance, stalling to look at me. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asks, and another little chip melts off the block around my heart.
No one has ever cared to ask me what I need or what I want, and tears prick my eyes at the obvious concern in his eyes.
“Yes. I want to do this with you.”
His eyes are glued to mine as he slowly inches inside me. He stops halfway in, sweeping his fingers across my cheek. “You’re so beautiful.” He nudges in a little more. “And so tight.” He flexes his jaw, and I can tell he’s exercising caution. When he pushes in a little more, a sharp sting of pain jolts through me, and I wince.
His eyes pop wide as he holds himself still. Shock splays across his face. “You’re a virgin?” he splutters.
A sly smirk slips across my mouth. “I was.”
“Fuck.” He leans down, kissing me so sweetly I feel like crying. “You should’ve said.”
And have you change your mind? Not likely.
Thoughts of losing my virginity to that psycho Trent were part of the reason drawing me to the sea tonight. I’ve been holding him off for years, but with the wedding approaching, I know I can’t hold out much longer.
Denying him that victory only adds to the joy of this moment.
But it’s way more than wanting to one-up Trent.
I want to give my body to this gorgeous stranger.
To enjoy this one night where I can take something for myself before returning to the gilded cage I live in.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say, bucking my hips up in encouragement. “I want this with you. Right here. Right now. Nothing has made so much sense in a long time.”
He inspects me for so long I fear he will pull out and change his mind, but then he pushes the rest of the way inside me, and I swallow my cry of pain. He peppers little kisses along my neck and my collarbone, gently kneading my tits as he slowly rocks back and forth inside me. “I’ll go slow until it doesn’t hurt anymore,” he whispers across my now overheated skin. “And if you want me to stop, I will.”
“I don’t want you to stop,” I say, threading my fingers through the longish dark strands of hair now falling over his strong brow. “Keep going.”
He makes love to me then, only picking up his pace when I confirm it no longer hurts, but he’s never rough, completely attentive to my needs, and he brings me to a second orgasm as his own climax hits.
I’m sprawled across his warm body, a few hours later, listening to the comforting beat of his heart, watching his chest inflate and deflate in slumber, wishing I could stay here in this little beach cabin with this beautiful stranger for eternity.
But I know that’s only wishful thinking. A fantasy I can’t entertain. Bringing anyone into my life risks theirs, and that’d be a poor way of rewarding this man who has given me a night I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Although I hate to leave him like this, it’s for the best.
He can’t know who I am or understand the implications of what we’ve just done.
Reluctantly, I ease out of his warm bed and his life, feeling a pang of overwhelming sadness as I get dressed, preparing myself to leave him behind. He looks peaceful in slumber, like a tattooed guardian angel, arriving at the perfect moment to help put things in perspective.
If I’d followed through tonight, they would have won, and I know my dead mother wouldn’t want that for me.
I’m stronger than that.
I might be a pawn in a game I don’t want to play, but that doesn’t mean I can’t win.
I need to strategize.
To plan my victory so I can escape the tortured future lying in wait for me.
Determination surges through my veins, and I smile adoringly at the beautiful man who has given me so much more than his body. “Thank you,” I whisper, blowing him a kiss. I wish I could taste his lips one final time, but I don’t want to wake him. It’s better that I leave like this.
My hand is curled around the door handle when I spy a pencil and sketchpad on the coffee table. Without stopping to second-guess myself, I tear a strip off the end of a blank page and pen a brief note.
You can’t possibly know this, but you saved my life in more ways than one tonight. You have reminded me why it’s important to survive. Given me the strength to fight for what I want. And you have given me a precious memory I will hold close until my dying breath. Thank you. A.
As I close the door and head back toward my car, back to a life I despise, I know I’ll be reliving this special night every day for the rest of my life.
But I had no idea that sleeping with this stranger would set certain things in motion. Things that couldn’t be undone. And I certainly had no idea that I’d come to hate him and desperately resent giving him my virginity.
CHAPTER ONE
“GET YOUR HANDS off me!” I shove at Trent’s broad shoulders, pushing him back a couple steps. He immediately reclaims the space, thrusting his face into mine. “This fucking frigid act is getting old, darling,” he sneers, enunciating the last word so I’m left in no doubt of his derision.
Aesthetically, Trent is a gorgeous guy—golden-blond hair, striking blue-gray eyes, strong masculine jaw, high cheekbones, and an impressive body that is ripped in all the right places—but the person behind the exterior is repulsive and totally beyond redemption.
Believe me, I’ve tried. Once I realized I was stuck with the douche, I did my utmost to bring out the best in him.
But you can’t extract something that doesn’t exist.
Trent isn’t a nice guy.
Trent isn’t a decent guy.
Trent embodies everything wrong with the society we live in and everything I want to run screaming from.
But I have no control over my life, and I’m on this speeding train regardless of how badly I want to jump off.
His hands dig into my hips, and he thrusts his obvious arousal into my stomach. I work hard to swallow my disgust. Although it’s tempting to push his buttons more, he’s been drinking, and I remember what happened the last time we got into it when he was hammered. A shiver tiptoes up my spine at the memory of him shoving his cock into my mouth while he had me pinned on the bed, his ass pressing down on my chest, as he fucked my mouth with no mercy.