Erica’s smile widens. It’s so fucking big that I can’t help but match it. “A girl, finally,” she squeals.
“Three boys and a girl, that poor little one’ll never get a date,” I chuckle.
“Damn straight,” Jimmy barks, sliding his arm around his wife’s shoulders.
All of my irritation disappears at the sight of them. They’re happy, truly happy. I know they don’t have much, never have, but they have one another and their babies and that’s all they need. I’m jealous as fuck.
“C’mon inside, I got a brisket smokin’. Erica can you help me with sides? I suck at that shit,” I grunt.
“Of course, Ford. I just really appreciate you lettin’ us come and do this. Gets us away for a little break and gives us enough to make sure the kids have a good Christmas every year. You’re our saving grace,” she admits. “I know I can’t do as much as Bubba, but I’m here to help.”
My heart squeezes. I should spend more time with family. I should be buying Christmas gifts for all my cousins’ kids. I should be doing more for all of them instead of staying holed up in my house, on my ranch, away from everyone.
We go inside, Erica gets busy doing far too fucking much, but I don’t tell her to stop, she’s far too determined. Jimmy and I head out back to the smoker and I grab us each a beer.
“I’m sorry, cuz,” he grunts.
“Nah, it’s okay. I put some snacks and drinks out in the little house for y’all,” I murmur. “We’ll start at six in the mornin’.”
“We’ll be at the barn, what Erica said… we really do appreciate this. I know that I’m kind of a fuck up, but I try not to be, for my kids at least.”
“You’re good, Jimmy.”
We’re both silent for a moment, then Jimmy lifts his hand and I feel his fingers squeeze my shoulder. “You’re the best family a man could have, Ford. When are you going to find your happiness, cuz?”
His words cause my chest to ache. Happiness. What the fuck does that even mean? I’m just hoping for contentment at this point in my life. My happiness ran away from me—twice. I don’t answer him, there are no words to even say to that. Not a single fucking thing.
Chapter Nineteen
STEPHANIE
My second meeting with the Russian mob boss isn’t any less scary than the first, in fact, I think that it could be scarier. Chewing on my bottom lip, I glance around the house in front of me. Why he’s asked me to come to his home, alone, I don’t know.
Inhaling a deep breath, I open my car door and slide out, standing as tall as I can. Slowly, I make my way toward the front door. Lifting my hand, I extend my index finger and touch the doorbell. I kind of hope nobody hears it, or me.
Looking around the property, I’m not surprised that he has a house up on a hill with a million-dollar view of the valley. It’s gorgeous. Honestly, I don’t even know if I could afford the home. It’s that nice.
The door slowly opens and I’m met with a drop-dead gorgeous blonde. She smiles, her eyes searching my face before she shakes her head once and stands to the side.
“You must be Stephanie.”
I’m surprised that she doesn’t have any accent at all, she sounds like a born and bred Californian. “I am.” I nod, taking one step toward her, then another.
“Come on inside, Kirill is expecting you. The kids will be home from school in about an hour, he doesn’t like to be gone when they arrive,” she says as she rolls her eyes.
“He doesn’t?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “He missed a lot with our first daughter, he doesn’t want to miss a moment with the others. He is a devoted family man.”
My lips part in awe, the idea that this man who is completely in love with his wife, is also a devoted family man completely floors me.
It also makes me wonder if Beaumont could be right, could I leave all of this behind, say fuck my career, and go home to Ford, where I feel like I belong, where my heart feels, fulfilled?
“That’s beautiful,” I say.
She nods her head, her gaze shifting behind me, no doubt looking at her man. “More than you could ever know,” she exhales. “He’s waiting for you out back. Straight ahead, he’s out there.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“Stephanie?” she calls out after I take a couple of steps past her.
Stopping, I turn around to look back at her. Her face softens as she looks at me. “Whatever it is, following your heart will always be worth it in the end, no matter the road.”
“I did that once,” I whisper.
“And it was worth it, was it not?”
Nodding, I lick my bottom lip. “It was.”
“Then do it a second time. Sometimes we get to the point where our desires change. That’s okay, to go back to where you know you belong, after you’ve gone in a completely different direction.”
It’s as if she knows everything I’m thinking. Nodding my head, my eyes water, but I swallow down the tears, not allowing them to fall down my cheeks. I don’t verbally respond to her words, instead I hold her gaze, then turn and make my way toward the double glass doors that take me out back.
Kirill is standing with his back to me, his body facing his gorgeous view. He doesn’t say anything and I think that he hasn’t heard my approach, but he finally speaks without turning around.
“You met my Tati?”
“I didn’t get her name,” I admit.
He chuckles. “She knows that you’re business, probably didn’t give it on purpose, but she got your name, no?”
“She did,” I say with a small laugh of my own.
He hums. “She’s a good wife. A great partner,” he murmurs.
“You have a proposition for me?” I ask.
He clears his throat as I approach and stand at his side, one step back. He turns his head, then the rest of his body to face me.
“Sebastian is his own man. Why have you chosen to take on his debts, just for the videos? For your career?”
“At first, yes.”
“You have no love for him?”
I think about Sebastian, about how he tried to leave me at the restaurant, about how he sold photos of my bare breasts to the paparazzi. Then, I think about how he threatened to sell the video to the media as well, a video that I didn’t even know existed.
“I don’t think I ever did have love for him,” I admit. “He was an actor, it was easy.”
“The man you love is not an actor?”
Laughing softly, I think about Ford on a movie set, he would be an absolute mess. “No, he’s not. He’s so far from an actor it’s not even funny. He’s a cattle rancher.”
Kirill’s brows lift to the sky, obviously surprised by Ford’s career. “We were engaged to be married once,” I say, apparently deciding to give him my entire life story. “I ran from him and came out here to follow my dream.”
“He waited for you?”
Shaking my head, I turn to look out at the beautiful City of Angels below. “No, but yes. We never found anyone else. Neither of us. We reconnected a few weeks ago and it was wonderful.”