“What?” He stares at my outstretched hand and visibly pales.
“This was a business deal, was it not? I’m not seasoned yet, but I’m pretty sure that’s the way you conclude a business deal. A handshake to seal the deal. I accept your terms. I-I ac-cept your payoff, Mr. Horner. Consider it money well spent.”
“This was not meant—”
“Yes, it was. Shake my hand.”
Shoulders sagging, he places his hand in mine, and it’s all I can do to keep my knees from buckling. My motives with this act purely selfish, because it’s the first and last time I’ll ever hold my father’s hand. “Now look me in the eyes,” I rasp out, “and say goodbye.”
When he lifts his eyes to mine, I feel no satisfaction. “Say goodbye, Roman.”
“Cecelia, this is ridiculous.”
I rip my hand away.
“You deserve every damn bit of karma that comes your way. And there’s a beauty to karma; you never know when it will come back to bite you in the ass.”
“I’ll take that into consideration,” he clears his throat, his voice hoarse when he speaks. “Have you said your piece?”
Tears I can no longer hold glide down my cheeks, and I nod. “Yes, Sir. That will be all. Do you feel better?”
“I understand you’re upset but—”
“Goodbye, Roman.”
It’s me who walks toward the door this time with a folder full of payoff in hand. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks up behind me. “Please keep me updated on your progress at school.” I glance back and see remorse shining in his eyes a second before he rips them away.
“Go to hell.”
Though I have another night paid for at the hotel, I drive home, because I feel safer there. If I’m honest with myself, I feel safer on Tobias’s watch, and safer in my short time with him than I felt with my own father in that boardroom.
On the drive home, I thought of a thousand better ways, better things I could have said differently, but I made my point, and my point didn’t matter. Not at all.
After leaving him in that room, I didn’t shed a single tear, not one in the elevator, nor when I retrieved my bag from my room or on the drive home. But the burn starts to become unbearable as I pull up to the house and once again recognize it for what it is—a lifeless structure, an imitation of a life that doesn’t exist.
A home that will never house a family.
I leave my bag in the car, sluggishly taking the steps up to the door before I hear the faint purr of an engine. I turn back to see Tobias’s Jag speeding down the driveway. Emotions warring, fists clenched, I turn just as he rounds the drive and skids to a stop.
He exits the car, dressed to rule, and takes purposeful strides toward me, stopping at the foot of the stairs. I cross my arms as he sweeps me from heel to head, his eyes filled with something akin to worry. But I’m too far into my head to try and decipher what it could mean.
“I can’t do this with you. Not today, Tobias. Not today. Just give me today.”
He bites the edge of his lip, not budging.
“Why are you here?” I demand, my voice betraying me with a rattle as I take a step toward the stairs. “The papers have been signed. Our business is concluded, Tobias. You won. The kingdom’s yours for the taking. Go get it. I won’t stop you.” I school my features, feeling the tiny fractures start in my chest.
No. No. No. Please heart, don’t do this to me.
He swallows, shoving his hands in his slacks, his eyes dropping.
“Leave! Damn you, if you have one decent bone in your body, leave right now. Whatever you need, it can wait.”
His eyes slowly lift to mine as I press my hands to my stomach, willing myself to keep it together just a little longer.
“You got what you wanted! It’s all over. I’m leaving soon. No more trust necessary. So, go! The board is all yours.”
He remains silent, continuing to watch me slowly start to unravel.
“Did you come to gloat? Well you shouldn’t, I’m a very wealthy woman now, don’t you know?”
“Cecelia—”
“You win! You win!” I spread my arms and thrust them high above me. “All yours. Do your worst.”
His features twist as he takes a step up and then another.
I take a retreating step toward the door. “Don’t. It’s all over. Check, in favor of the king. Just one more move and he’s done.”
He slowly shakes his head.
“Jesus, you’ve bankrupted me, I have nothing and no one, but I’ve got a hell of a lot of money. I don’t need anyone. I don’t need anyone! Did you hear me? I want you to leave!”
Silence.
“Don’t pretend to care about me. It’s insulting!”
He cups the back of his head and exhales, regret etched in his face, his posture. Guilt.
My jaw goes slack when I realize where it’s coming from.
“Oh my God, you heard it, didn’t you? You heard every word.” I huff and shake my head incredulously. “You couldn’t even give me a moment I deserved. Just one moment of privacy, just one.”
I bark out a laugh, my eyes shimmering with humiliation. “Wow, you must think I’m so fucking pathetic. Is that why you’re here? To tell me how pathetic I am. Then do it. Do it!”
I rip off my heels and fling them at his feet.
“Did I disappoint you? Did you come to tell me this isn’t what grown-ups do? How they handle business? Well, don’t waste your time. You’ve made it perfectly clear I’m not a worthy adversary. Go! Go take him down. We’re done here.”
A long silence passes as he doesn’t move, his eyes pleading, unflinching.
“Say something! Say something, you bastard, say anything, but make sure at the end of it is goodbye. I don’t want you. We’re nothing. Nothing but business. Leave!”
He stands there mute, guilty, his expression filled with pity, which only infuriates me.
“You’re halfway there, you’ve ruined his daughter, time to aim for the head. Take him down. Please,” I beg, my resolve crumbling, “take him down.”
He moves toward me, climbing the steps as I back away toward my door.
“No, don’t you dare!” I turn to flee when he reaches me, pulling me into his arms just as the levee breaks. “I hate you,” I cry, my sobs muffled as I bury my face into his neck. He runs his hands through my hair, hurried words leaving his lips.
“I’m so sorry, Cecelia. I’m so fucking sorry.” The soothing lilt in his voice only makes me cry harder, and I fist his jacket as he lifts me off my feet, leaving no space between us.
“Just breathe. Okay? Breathe,” he whispers as I sob into his neck, my face stinging with tears, the burn unbearable.
“He p-p-aid me off, Tobias. He paid me off.”
He grips me tighter to him, as I weep freely in his hold. After several minutes suspended in his arms, he sits on the steps of the porch, situating me along his lap as I unload twenty years of rejection.
It’s there on my father’s front porch, in his nemesis’s arms, that I find solace. Tobias murmurs into my ear, alternating the press of his lips between the top of my head and my temple while his warm hands glide up and down my back. Unbelieving that the man intent on breaking me is the one who’s mending me; with the stroke of his hands, the gentle kiss of his lips, I pull back and gaze over at him, utterly at a loss. With tender thumbs, he wipes the black smudges from my face. And we just…stare at the other.