My gaze falls on the chair where I sat last time. God, the memory heats my face. Ryder pushed me onto the table and gave me not only the hottest orgasm I’ve ever had, but the hottest one I could ever imagine. I climaxed so hard and fast, I finally understood why the French call it the little death.
Ryder is sitting at the table now, and something dark and knowing passes in his eyes. He doesn’t say anything, though…just picks up a pitcher and pours water into an empty glass.
He’s wearing a power suit—the dark navy with chocolate pinstripes. The color darkens his eyes to an Atlantic ultramarine. His steel-gray silk tie is knotted perfectly, and an air of dynastic opulence and wealth surrounds him. It says he expects the world to turn as he wills.
Of course I know he doesn’t really expect such things. I’ve seen his struggles, know his issues. You don’t work with somebody for close to half a decade and not notice. But his charisma is such that I almost forget all that as I look at him.
Unlike him, I’m in a cream-colored tunic and a dark brown skirt with silver flowers that ends an inch over my knees. The only accessories I have on are my pearl earrings and the one-of-a-kind engagement ring he gave me.
I sit across from him. “Where’s Samantha?”
“Not coming.” He pushes the glass of water my way.
I frown. “Are we rescheduling?”
“Nope. We don’t need her to talk about what we need to talk about.”
“You could’ve called.”
He raises an eyebrow. “So you can ignore me?”
I look away. “You said it was over.” I don’t care what Elliot said. He can’t possibly know everything between me and Ryder. Besides, Elliot’s always going to be on his brother’s side.
“You walked out.”
“You forced me into the position.”
“And all over some flowers.” He mutters something that sounds suspiciously like “for fuck’s sake.”
“To you they were flowers. To me, they symbolized the dictatorial way you’re approaching our relationship.” I shake my head slightly. “Approached.”
The muscles in his jaw tense for a moment, then he shrugs. “Anyway, I’m not here to fight.”
“Then what do you want?” He could’ve summoned me here for all sorts of reasons. My best guess is to find a way to end the wedding and who’s going to be responsible for the deposits and expenses so far. He said he’d take care of the ceremony, but that was when we were actually going to do it. I don’t know how he feels about paying for everything now, and frankly, I’d prefer to pay part of it myself so I don’t have anything hanging over me. I hate owing people.
“If you aren’t going to marry me, you should at least continue as my assistant,” he says.
Shock ripples through me. “Are you serious?”
“I’m always serious about work.”
I shake my head. “I can’t just…continue, as if the last few weeks never happened.”
“You have a different job lined up?”
“No. I’m looking, though.”
“Might be hard to find one,” he observes. “You’re kind of notorious at the moment.”
My hands tighten into fists. I hate it when people point out what I’m trying very hard to deny. “Is that damned tape going to haunt me for the rest of my life?”
“Nah,” he says with a shrug. “People will forget about it when juicier news comes around. Ten years from now, and it’ll be like it never existed.”
Damn you, Shaun.
“But even without the sex tape, you won’t find a new job anytime soon.” He gestures at my belly. “You’re pregnant.”
I rub my forehead. It’s starting to hurt now.
Ryder continues, “You’re going to need income and medical insurance. Prenatal care isn’t cheap, and Dr. Silverman doesn’t even accept insurance. Her practice is strictly on a concierge basis.”
This is bad news. Really bad. Dr. Silverman is the best doctor I’ve ever had. She actually spends time with me and listens to my concerns and discusses everything in detail. And with the bleeding I had earlier, I would vastly prefer to have her providing me with the care my baby and I need.
“But if you come back to your old job, I can pay for all that,” Ryder continues. “She’ll be better for you and the baby anyway.”
The offer is tempting, but I’m not convinced he has no ulterior motive. He can be unexpectedly sweet, but I’ve also seen him at his devious best—or worst—when he’s fixated on getting his way. “Why are you doing this?”
He looks toward the ceiling and a slow smile spreads over his face. “I’m tired of dealing with my own mail?” He looks at me, squinting slightly, to see if I’m going to go for the ploy.
The gall of the man. “Try again.”
The smile vanishes, and silence stretches. Then he finally sighs. “Okay.” He leans forward, placing his linked hands on the table. “Look, Paige. We’ve wasted enough time being at odds with each other. Frankly, I don’t like that. We’ve never fought like this before, and I don’t understand why it’s happening now. I mean, all we’re trying to do is the right thing for each other. Right? A temporary marriage would solve both our problems, and it’d be so damn neat.” He clears his throat. “And I’m sorry for saying that it would be over if you walked out. Once I calmed down, it was obvious you needed some time to cool off.”
“So you think the problem is our tempers?” My teeth grind together. “That I’m just…pissy?”
“What else can it be?”
“Your idea of a relationship between us is, you issue an order and I obey regardless of how I feel about it. I didn’t realize it until we hit that bump.” I pause, taking a moment to collect myself. “You said we needed to put on a good show. But I’m not an actor like you, Ryder. I can’t fake things I don’t feel. I just…can’t.”
“So it’s a no?” His voice lacks all inflection.
“I…” I stop.
If it were just me, I’d say no. I don’t want to risk hurting myself anymore. It cut deep when he thought the worst of me based on his experience with Lauren, and it kept bleeding when he continued to act like I was betraying him by being civil to Anthony, who’s probably just as plugged in as everyone else and saw the news and decided to send flowers as an apology. There was no reason for me to reject that. I’d prefer that Ryder and Anthony reconcile rather than keep on with the hostility because of what happened with a woman who’s been dead and buried for a while now.
But I have a baby to consider. I can’t stay at Bethany’s place indefinitely. After all, she’s expecting too. And I can’t go home to Sweet Hope, not for a while. That town is full of busybodies who’ll sniff around shamelessly for every morsel of gossip.
And as much as I hate to admit it, I need the best care money can buy. That means Ryder is my best chance. But god…I hate it that I’m being forced into making a decision I’m not sure about due to circumstances beyond my control.
“If you don’t want to make up your mind right now, tell me tomorrow,” he says. “Or you can just simply move back in.”