Of course, I could only go by what he told me and what I heard via rumors, but servants generally knew everything that went on inside the places they worked and the one thing I had to my advantage was that people very often overlooked me, including servants. I’d been privy to many a conversation without the conversant knowing I was even present to eavesdrop.
Dorian was the very definition of an alpha-hole and it worked for him. It wasn’t fair. What did he have that I didn’t? He wasn’t any richer than I was and although he had a more obvious style than I did; I wasn’t ugly. I might need a haircut and to get a decent tailor so my suits fit better, but I got my share of admiring glances. So what was it about Dorian that made him so popular?
Dorian raised an eyebrow at me and I realized I’d been glaring at him. I smoothed my features and reached for my wineglass. I couldn’t wait for this damned dinner to be over so I could finally spend some time with Frankie. I needed to clear the air between us and the only way I knew how to do that was to tell her how I felt. Then she could decide if it meant the end of our friendship or not.
The one thing I knew, we couldn’t go on the way we were. I hated this stasis, and I needed it resolved. I couldn’t keep pretending…pretending to be in love with her when we were surrounded by everyone and then pretending to just be friends when we were alone. I felt like Julie Andrews in that old movie Victor Victoria. The fact was, I was in love with her and I couldn’t put that back in the box. Whatever happened, the relationship Frankie and I had before was gone. Now we had to decide what the future would look like. I really wanted it to be a future where she was in my life, as my wife, but if she really didn’t love me the way I loved her, then at least I would know and at least I could try to move on.
God, I hoped I didn’t have to move on.
Finally, dinner was over and people were getting up from the table and moving away and I reached out to snag Frankie’s wrist before she could disappear.
“Come for a walk with me,” I said, looking up at her with hope and desperation and pleading.
“Sure,” she said and then shot a look across the table to Dorian. “Feel like going for a walk, Dorian?”
I glared across the table to make sure Dorian stuck to the plan.
“Sorry Francesca, I have a date.”
Frankie looked at Sophia, but she was already retreating from the dining room, her head bent together with Meredith.
“Um,” Frankie said, looking at me like she really wanted to say no and escape.
“Come on,” I said, smiling casually, trying not to spook her. “We haven’t talked—just the two of us—for weeks. I miss you.”
She sighed and her eyes softened. “I’ve missed you too,” she said. She took one last look toward the others as they left the room and then turned back to me. “Okay. Let’s go for a walk. But not too long, I have a lot of work to do tonight.”
I got up from my seat and tucked her hand through my arm, my grin taking over half of my face. We walked out into the garden and I took a different route to the one we’d taken three weeks ago. We headed down the terrace stairs and I noticed how much the garden had grown since the last time we were out here together.
“You’ve been busy,” I said, my voice rougher than I would have liked.
“Yeah. It’s good, but yeah, busy,” she replied, keeping her gaze forward. “So have you.”
I grunted in agreement and we continued down another level before I spoke again.
“You must be nearly finished with your research,” I said.
“I really just need Jamie’s interview and then I’m done.”
I came to a stop beside a stone bench and sat, pulling her done to sit beside me.
“So you’ll be leaving soon.”
“Yep.”
This was it. This was the moment I needed to tell her I’d fallen in love with her and that I wanted her to come back and marry me for real.
“Listen, Frankie, I need to tell you something.” She opened her mouth to say something, but I plowed on, cutting her off before she could cut me down again. “I’ve really loved having you here with me. I can’t tell you just how much it has meant to me.”
“Oh Lucas,” she murmured, squeezing my hand. “It has been such a wonderful time. I have loved every moment.”
“So have I, which is why I want you to stay.”
“Stay? I can’t stay. I have to go home and present my dissertation and…”
“I know that. What I mean is, I want you to come back. Come back and stay. Work here on Kalopsia. Stay with me.”
Her eyes glistened in the moonlight as she looked at me. I held my breath, waiting for her answer.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“Why? Frankie, I love you.”
“I know, Lucas, and I love you too, but this isn’t my path to walk. Kalopsia has been so good for you and you don’t need me anymore. I’m so glad I could walk this path with you for a little while, but it’s time for me to go home and it’s time for you to step into this amazing new life of yours without me.”
“No, Frankie, you don’t understand. I am in love with you. I want you to marry me.”
“I wish that were true, but we both know it isn’t. You’re just worried about what will happen when I go home.”
“No, that’s not it. Frankie I love you and I am in love with you. You can’t deny things between us have changed. You can’t deny that when I kissed you, you felt this thing between us.”
She looked so sad I wanted to take back every word I said.
“Things have changed between us, Lucas, but not that.” She kissed me on the cheek. “I love you and I always will, but it’s time for me to go home.”
I sat on that stupid stone bench as she walked away from me yet again and cursed myself.
If I’d known our friendship would be so damaged by asking Frankie to pretend to be my fiancée then I would never have gotten down on my knee and presented her with that ridiculous ring.
Chapter 20
Francesca
I’d done the right thing.
That’s what I had to keep telling myself…because I had…I had done the right thing.
I didn’t doubt Lucas loved me, but I did not believe he was in love with me. It was just his anxiety speaking. He’d found a new comfort zone. Kalopsia was bringing out his true self, but he still clung to the idea that he needed me. I was under no illusions about the truth…which was, Lucas did not need me. He was doing a fantastic job on his own.
It had been another long week since the night in the garden and I no longer had to work hard to avoid Lucas. He’d stopped pursuing me…which was what I wanted…wasn’t it?
If that was true, why did I feel so awful?
Walking away from Lucas had taken every single ounce of willpower I had. The temptation to fall into his arms and tell him I loved him too and yes, I wanted to stay in Kalopsia forever, was almost overwhelming. Because that was what my heart wanted, even if my head couldn’t fully believe that Lucas had really fallen in love with me. I mean, why would he fall in love with me? I was his buddy. His friend. I wasn’t sophisticated or graceful or refined. I was just me. I was Frankie, the woman who preferred ripped jeans and scuffed boots and enjoyed working in a bar. Lucas had a title and an exciting future ahead of him and the last thing he needed was to be unevenly yoked with someone like me.