Harley went to join the band on stage. "Wow, The Paranormals. What a first performance. What do you think to the judge's feedback… Zak?"
Zak stroked a fingertip across his eyebrow. "We are truly honoured." He did a thank you, clutching his chest. "It's a privilege to be on this stage performing in front of so many people."
"And, Roman?" Roman looked shocked that she chose him to speak to, although I knew why. "You seem to be the quietest member of the band. Is that true or are you a dark horse?"
"Wrong animal, right, kid?" Zak sniggered, and Harley looked at him with a creased brow.
Roman leaned closer to the microphone. "It's hard to get a word in edgeways with Zak here, but I'm so happy to be in the band, and thank you to all the judges. We hope we'll be able to entertain you all again next week."
With that they made their way off stage.
We were the closing act and so I didn't know what possessed me, but I decided to go through to their dressing room and congratulate them on their performance. The corridor was busy and I could see people going in and out, but I carried on, walking forward and pushing open the door.
To find the red-haired woman with her arms wrapped around Noah. She was kissing him in a frenzy, dotting kisses all over his face and then she held his face in her hands.
"My, baby. You look so good. I missed you so much."
I knew what he'd said to me about Mya being the one who made him a vampire and that there'd never been a romance, but I saw a bond between them that hurt my head and heart so bad I felt like I'd been spiked through my own. I staggered back and away before he saw me, and returned to our own dressing room.
"Where'd you disappear off to?" Donna asked.
"Just needed a quick walk. I'm feeling nervous." It was only a half-lie.
"Well no more disappearing now, because we don't want to have to invoke my mediumship skills again to locate you." She laughed.
Donna had been unable to turn up any more information on either Dan or Jack and had just dropped it like she'd spent the other evening colouring in a picture and then shredded it. I didn't know how she could be okay being possessed by a dead person's spirit one day and then act like it had never happened the next. She was a peculiar one was our Donna. After her outburst the other day, I was trying to make sure I listened to her and didn't overlook her because of her being small. She'd been right to call me out on it and I actually felt a little ashamed of what I'd been acting like.
That was why I'd decided that she should provide the main backing vocals tonight and be a bit more visible on stage.
We sang Britney's Womanizer and I put all my internalised anger into the song to such a point that to my utter amazement we received a standing ovation.
"Fucking hell, Stacey, where did that come from?" Estelle tapped me on the shoulder. "Even I'm turned on and I'm dead inside according to my husband." She turned to the others. "If she keeps this up, we're winning this thing."
I saw that Donna's expression looked sullen. "Credit due to Donna." I said. "I think her backing vocals made me sound better than I was."
"Yeah, I think so too. I think I added a harmonic element that made your performance seem to zing." She said.
Ultimately, I didn't give a shit. I was really beginning to wonder why I was there, because the more this competition progressed, the less it seemed about being to progress with my dreams and the more it seemed to be about settling a score with an ex.
There was no doubt that I loved singing. I loved my friends and coven sisters, and singing in the band had given me the same sense of belonging I'd had when I sang with Noah. But was that it? Was the family/friend/support part of it the main reason I did it? If someone said to me right now, go solo and we'll give you a recording contract, would I? Did I want it as a career? Did I really want to win this competition and go on tour?
Fuck me. I didn't.
Looking around at my bandmates, I felt like I'd let them all down. Because I knew that I would do my best to win this competition for them, and then I was going to leave the band.
Stacey Williams wanted more. I wanted to be someone's everything. Not a lead singer, not an ex. When I found someone who put me first above everything, I knew I'd follow that person to the ends of the earth.
Because all I'd ever been searching for was love.
Ten years earlier
"For God's sake, Stacey, get out from under my feet, and stop making that noise." My mum yelled at me for the billionth time that day. She'd never failed to tell me all my life that I'd been a mistake and as soon as I was old enough to look after myself, she went out with her mates and largely ignored me. She made sure there was always a pizza or a microwave curry in the fridge and left me money for buying clothes, but she'd had me at fifteen, didn't talk to her parents—my grandparents—and said it was her time now.
I grabbed my schoolbag and set off to school early. I bought toast and a drink at breakfast club and then walked around the halls looking at the noticeboard, wasting time until the bell went. I didn't really have any friends. People knew I was from the Scarsdale Estate and so pretended I didn't exist because only the poor or mentally ill lived there. Social housing prejudice at its finest.
I spotted the notice.
Choir
Singers required for school plays. Rehearsals Monday and Fridays 4pm, more sessions nearer to performance dates.
It was perfect. I could sing without my mum harping on and it kept me out of the way.
I'd been there about three months when Noah joined. I spotted him sitting at the back in the corner. He looked as lonely as I felt so I went over to him.
"Hi, I'm Stacey."
He stared up at me and my heart thudded a little because up close I saw how gorgeous his eyes were, with his long, dark lashes. "Noah." He said.
"You don't look all that excited to be here." I sat beside him, and he didn't tell me to move which led me to think he was okay with it.
"Truth? I'm here because my enemies won't come here for me. It's not worth it, and hopefully they'll have got bored and left before I get out."
"So you don't actually want to be in the choir?" I said disappointed.
"Oh I love music, and I'm happy enough to be here, although I didn't really need another excuse for them to call me gay or a pansy, but Mrs Hellier seems to think it'll help me with my 'issues'."
Mrs Hellier was the school pastoral counsellor.
"Well, if it's any consolation, I'm here because my mother doesn't want me at home. I don't have any friends either. Not because I'm bullied, but because people like to pretend I don't exist."
Noah turned to me. "I don't know how anyone could not notice you. You're really pretty." Then he blushed. But that was the day I became friends with Noah Granger and a week later he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. The rejection from others meant we'd found each other.
And that was why Noah should have known more than anyone how his actions would affect me, when he himself rejected me later.