He massaged the top of my hand with his index finger and stared into my eyes. “I can’t wait!”
We drove an hour or so to the cute little bed and breakfast I booked, which sat against a man-made lake and a plethora of evergreen trees. He gazed around in disbelief as a sly smile stretched across his lips.
“Where are we?” he asked.
“I got us a weekend getaway here! Isn’t it cute?”
As we got out of the car, pride swelled in my chest seeing Zac’s look of pure happiness. I was so relieved, too, that he liked the gift. After all, I didn’t have the money to get him something else, and the B&B was non-refundable.
That night, we cozied up in bed with a fire roaring in the hearth. We drank Bud Lights while we chowed down a large cheese and mushroom pizza. Everything was working out perfectly—until the storm hit.
While we cuddled under the sheets, a massive thunderstorm ripped through our area. Trees were knocked down, and a few landed on the powerlines of our B&B. It didn’t take long for the power to go out.
At first, I froze in place. Was this really happening? Then we burst into laughter. We’d still make the best of it, no matter what.
“Hey, let’s go outside,” he said.
“In the pouring rain?” I asked, bewildered.
“Yeah, c’mon!”
Zac pulled me out of bed and tossed a hoodie and sweats on over his boxers. I reluctantly followed suit.
“This is crazy!” I shouted above the thunder as we stepped outside into the storm. Rain pelted us sideways, and after a few minutes, our clothes were soaked through to our bones.
Zac jogged away, leaving me to follow him or get left behind. He made his way to the rickety dock on the lake. It was pitch black; not even the moon dared to come out. My hair, completely drenched, stuck to the back of my neck, while strands were glued to my cheeks.
Zac pulled me close and held my cheeks in the palms of his hands.
“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Elle Dahlia. I want to marry you.”
“Now?” I asked, taken aback.
Zac chuckled, and his smile ignited the sky. “No, not now. But someday.”
He pulled me close to him and kissed me with a desperate desire I’d never felt before. I wrapped my arms around him and surrendered my mind, body and spirit to the man before me. I fell so hard for him that night, more than I already had. He accepted me for who I was, despite my distrust for guys, despite my walls I kept up for as long as possible. He broke them down and mended the broken heart Noah shattered.
He taught me how to love again. How to feel again.
Once we came up for air, Zac, panting, interlaced his fingers in mine and we ran off the dock. Instead of going back to our room, we tore through the night and into the shallow edge of the woods. He leaned against a tree and pulled me into him. Hungrily, he slipped his tongue into my mouth.
My belly roared with lust and love. I wanted him; I needed all of him. Even though it was freezing and raining, we stripped each other’s clothes off and showed one another just how much we needed each other. It didn’t matter that it was the middle of the night or that someone from another cabin could see us. All we cared about was being in each other’s arms.
The next morning, we woke up, hungover and still cold despite the fire we kept going all night. Simultaneously, Zac and I started itching all around our legs up to our private parts. It turned out, the tree where we made love the night before was surrounded by poison ivy.
We laughed all the way to the nearest Urgent Care. Even though it wasn’t the perfect romantic getaway I initially envisioned, it turned out to be so much more. After that, we made it a tradition to always go to a bed and breakfast on his birthday and find a strange place to strip each other’s clothes off.
And, while we made sure never to do it around poison ivy, each year was just as memorable as the first time.
My body shook with grief at the memory of that first birthday. So many years later, we should have been together right now. We should have been intertwined under the sheets. Instead, I lay in bed with a shattered heart. All alone.
I couldn’t stay in this room any longer. I needed a break from the paisley wallpaper and my inner demons. The Hens' Den was only a few blocks away, so I decided to go and continue my binge.
At one time in my life, I would have feared for my safety being out alone in this part of town. But once you were a police officer, there was very little that could scare you. Not to mention, I'd already lived through my worst nightmare: losing the love of my life. Nothing else sent trepidation through me quite like that. I'd hit rock bottom; I couldn't sink any lower.
The stars twinkled in the dark sky. Out here, away from large cities, you could see the constellations. There was no light pollution, and the damp air smelled of rain. As I walked, I breathed in deeply, wanting to capture the clean air inside my lungs for as long as possible.
My flats squished as I stepped out of a puddle I didn't see. It was no bother. I carried a drink in one hand and the promise of a night to myself. The quiet on the streets was almost deafening. Only a car or two passed me along the walk. I wished every moment could be this serene.
I tipped the water bottle back and allowed the mixed drink to course down my throat and into my belly. The vodka overpowered the pop, but that was what I'd wanted. Branches with new leaves rustled in the breeze while crickets danced in the ditch alongside the road.
It didn't take long for The Hens' Den to come into view. I knew they probably wouldn't let me bring in a beverage from outside the bar, so I finished my mixed drink. I coughed a few times after tossing the water bottle onto the side of the road. My body warmed with the fresh flow of alcohol, and the demons inside me dulled to a whisper instead of a roar.
A different bouncer stood outside the front doors. He examined his cuticles and glanced sideways as he opened the door when I approached. Without a word, I stepped into the club, which was becoming all too familiar to me. At least I wouldn't run into anyone I didn't want to see tonight.
I strode to the bar, wondering if Hayden would be here. I didn't care, though. I didn't care much about anything at the moment.
Much to my surprise, Rose stood behind the bar making drinks instead of delivering them.
"Hey," I said.
She didn't look up, but a faint smile crossed her lips. "Well, look who the cat dragged in.”
"You bartending now?”
House music blared from the speakers while dozens of men loitered about. The hazy smoke from the stage meandered throughout the club, leading to a clouded atmosphere. I cleared my throat until my lungs adjusted.
"Just filling in for the night. What can I get ya?”
"A vodka soda with a splash of cran would be great," I said.
Rose nodded. She turned on her very high heels to grab the top shelf vodka, for which I felt grateful. The cheap stuff would only lend to a worse hangover tomorrow. Rose mixed the vodka, soda and cranberry juice in front of me, and then topped it off with a fresh lime.
I pulled out my credit card, but she waved me away. "First one's free.”
"Thanks," I said.
Before I sipped the booze, a man parked himself next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw he was about my height, handsome, clean-shaven, and had a charming smile.
"I was about to ask if I could buy you a drink, but I guess I’m too late," he said.