“Let’s just give it a little more time, okay? Please?” He seemed so genuinely agitated, his leg shaking the whole bench.
She sighed, looking away. “Well, it doesn’t seem like I have a choice, so . . .” She pushed on his hips, and he stood from the booth, gathering their coats. “Can’t believe I painted my toenails for this dumb dragon.”
“What did you say?”
Oops. “Nothing.”
“Did you call me a dragon?”
“It’s not an insult . . .” She held the door for him, trying to soften the blow with an act of consideration.
“Ainsley, you’re calling me an animal! How am I supposed to take that as a compliment?”
“Because it’s a really awesome animal! It’s like calling someone a unicorn, right? Because they’re so unusual and unique. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known. I just . . . I just don’t know how else to classify you sometimes.”
He opened the car door for her, still clearly displeased. “Animalia, Chordata, Mammalia, Primates, Hominidae, Homo sapiens. Same as you.” She climbed into the passenger seat and cringed when he slammed her door shut.
This is so not how I imagined this date ending . . .
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
THIS WAS THE LAST THING he wanted to be doing today. The woman handcuffed to the bed was shaking, and Kyle gave himself an unnecessary reminder to avoid meth at all costs. It held no interest for him, but it didn’t hurt to remind himself from time to time. His curiosity could be stirred sometimes by unusual things, and then a passing interest could become an obsession. Getting obsessed with meth would be fatal.
He’d just broken the patient’s skin, ignoring her moans, when he heard the whisper: “He’s a machine.” He was used to people likening him to some kind of mechanical creation. Robot. Android. It was all the same. Reductive.
“I’m not, actually.” Kyle didn’t look up from his work. “But if you pay attention to what I’m doing, you might learn something. Unless you’re a machine, in which case you can only learn something if your subroutines will allow learning.” He taped down the needle and moved to make a note in her chart. But the comment was still there, in his head, stuck like a piece of gum to his shoe. He wanted it off. It was as terrible and uncomfortable as the real thing; he’d never understood gum chewing as a pastime. The residents whispered with their heads together, then left as the woman began to fall unconscious. Kyle retreated to the on-call room, still feeling that comment. Out, out, out.
Daniel caught his arm. “Hey. Greg didn’t mean it like that. He meant it like a compliment.”
“How is being called a machine a compliment? Machines are built, made by someone. They’re not capable of independent thought. I’m eminently capable. No one made me.”
“Are you still confused about where babies come from? Do we need to have the sex talk again? Thank God you didn’t become an OB/GYN.” His brother grinned, but seeing that his joke didn’t get the reaction he’d hoped for, he sobered. “He meant that he envies how you can set your emotions aside in situations like that. Seeing her like that was upsetting for Dr. Trout. That’s all.”
Kyle sat down heavily on the saggy couch. “I suppose that’s an advantage sometimes.”
“Sometimes,” Daniel agreed, flopping down next to him. He let his head tip toward Kyle, and it fell hard on his shoulder. The weight felt nice, but he didn’t want people seeing them snuggling, even if they were related.
“Get off me.”
“No.”
“I did feel bad for the girl.”
“I know you did, bro.”
“They don’t. They think I don’t feel anything, just because it doesn’t show on the outside.”
“Screw them. Who cares? You’re a great doctor. Anyone who’s seen you in action knows that. Your brain is just wired different.”
“My brain gives me an advantage in many situations. I’m just not sure it . . .”
His brother sat up and looked at him. “Not sure it what?”
“Not sure it knows what to do with Ainsley.”
Daniel smiled knowingly. “Because she pushes all your safety buttons.”
Kyle dragged both his hands through his dark hair, letting out a deep sigh. “She pushes all my buttons, period.”
“You could probably find someone else, you know.”
“You give terrible advice. You’re supposed to tell me to persevere, to hang in there. That’s what I told you with Winnie.”
“No, you told me I was shallow. You didn’t even sugarcoat it, just laid it out there. ‘You’re shallow, Daniel.’”
“It’s the same thing. I was motivating you, and I told you as nicely as I could. I was only pointing out your faults so you could work on them, to become the person Winnie needed you to be.”
“I wish that didn’t make sense.” Daniel paused. “Do you want to make it work with Ainsley?”
“Of course I do. I love her.”
His brother blinked at him rapidly.
“That surprises you?”
“Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I knew you liked her a lot, but you guys haven’t . . .” Daniel must’ve seen the hard look in his eyes, because he backtracked quickly. “Haven’t been together that long.”
“That’s not what you were going to say.” Kyle stood up and crossed his arms, feeling caught. Feeling like he’d been outed. “She told you.”
“No,” Daniel said quickly, “she told Winnie; Ainsley and I don’t talk about sex. She’s just frustrated, bro. Cut her a little slack. She needed to talk to someone; she’s trying to figure this out, too.”
“Do you think I should . . .” Kyle’s face burned. He didn’t want to talk about this, even with Daniel. And he found it easier to talk to Daniel than any of his other siblings, even though Philip probably knew more about long-term relationships, and Maggie was a woman. Daniel just sat, hands folded over his belly, waiting. “Do you think I should have sex with her?”
“Do you want to?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “But I’ve waited a long time for this. ‘This’ being a relationship that I really want to be in. And I don’t want the physical aspect to screw things up. I don’t know how that’s going to go for me.”
“Then wait.”
“None of my previous girlfriends could accept my decision to limit our physical relationship. I don’t want to lose her because she’s frustrated. I don’t want her angry with me.”
“Then don’t wait.”
“You’re being intentionally unhelpful,” Kyle growled, and Daniel chuckled.
“No, I’m not, it’s just not straightforward. But if Ainsley loves you, too, then she’ll wait. It might help her to know that there are other factors involved. Let her know that you’re attracted to her.”
“I’m sure she already knows,” he said dismissively. “She spends a lot of time close to my body. I’m sure she can feel it.”
“Well,” Daniel said slowly, “there’s body attraction and there’s heart attraction. Also, women like to hear things out loud. Share your thinking with her. It’ll help. I promise.”