Today, Jasmine could sense her friends in hair and makeup were bursting with curiosity, but thankfully, no one asked her outright, “Are you and Ashton . . . ?” And since no one asked, Jasmine didn’t have to lie.
When it was time to film the interviews, Tanya had negotiated every aspect in advance, so all Jasmine and Ashton had to do was smile charmingly and repeat, “No, we’re just really good friends,” in twelve different ways. It was hard to pretend he meant nothing to her, but they were actors. It was just like playing any other role.
Or so she kept telling herself.
After the last interview, Tanya pulled them aside to debrief. “I think that went pretty well, don’t you?”
Jasmine smiled, even though her heart was a shattered shell inside her chest. “Absolutely.”
Ashton grimaced, and Jasmine was pretty sure he’d been screaming internally for the past forty-five minutes. The final reporter had asked a ton of questions, and while Jasmine had tried to field most of them, many had been aimed directly at Ashton.
“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Tanya said. “Romance rumors pop up on every show. This should satisfy their cravings, and hopefully they’ll drop the story soon and focus on the whole show.”
“Let’s hope,” Ashton muttered darkly.
Tanya patted his shoulder. “Get some rest, you two. It’s been a big day.”
After Tanya left, Jasmine turned to Ashton. Better to get this over with.
He surprised her by speaking first. “So, this week . . .”
She raised her eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“I won’t be around,” he said, not looking at her. “I’m going to be at a music studio for the next few days, recording Victor’s songs, and in the evenings they want to get B-roll footage of me singing in a few clubs—”
“Ashton, it’s okay.” He was pulling away, as expected. What she hadn’t expected was that it would hurt quite so much. She forced herself to smile like everything was fine. “I’ll see you in a few days. Have fun recording.”
He nodded, the movement jerky, and slipped away. Just like he used to. Jasmine held back a sigh. If she let it out, tears would come next. And they might not stop.
Distance. Distance was good. Maybe it would give her some much-needed perspective and answers.
Like how to stop being in love with him.
Chapter 28
Ten minutes. That’s all Ashton wanted. Ten minutes alone with Jasmine. But when he knocked on the door of her side of their double-banger trailer, there was no answer.
They were on location in front of the building that posed as the Serranos’ brownstone in Spanish Harlem, prepping to film a kissing scene they’d practiced with Vera a week earlier. This kiss would be deeper than the others they’d shared on camera. After all they’d done together, they’d both assured Vera they were comfortable taking it up a notch. For the sake of the show, of course.
But that had been before the Buzz Weekly cover story. Before he’d convinced himself he needed time away from her. Now, he just wanted a chance to talk to her before the camera started rolling. It had been four days since he’d last seen her. With him in the recording studio and her at the production lot, their paths hadn’t crossed.
But she had been on his mind. Often.
Okay, a lot.
Okay, constantly. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. She was in his dreams when he slept, in his memories when he worked out, and in his thoughts when he recorded Victor’s songs.
The production had moved him to a different hotel for a few days so he could get away from the media circus and be closer to the music studio and the tiny downtown clubs where they’d shot footage of him singing live as Victor. After the agonizing “just friends” interviews and the increased presence of photographers on the way to ScreenFlix Studios and near the hotel, a change of scenery should’ve made him happy. That magazine article had been a wake-up call, a reminder that he didn’t have room in his life for a romantic relationship. His family was arriving on a plane that very night, and he had to be more careful than ever. There was no way he could sneak around to see them while also sneaking around with Jasmine. It was begging for trouble.
Except that was exactly what he was doing now—sneaking around the set, looking for her. He didn’t even have a good reason for wanting to see her—the excuse he’d made up was that he wanted to tell her about the recording studio. While he’d trained with vocal coaches in the past, working in a sound booth was another thing entirely. He wished she could’ve been there, to discuss the artistic challenges of recording, to cheer him on from the audience while he sang live, or even to join him on stage for a duet, like they’d done during karaoke.
He’d thought being apart from her for a few days would help him get his feelings in check so he could be around her without fantasizing about getting her naked. But deep down, he just wanted to see her. His anxiety had reached new heights as of late, and her presence soothed him. He was falling for her, and it was incredibly inconvenient.
He’d tried to cancel his family’s trip to New York, but Ignacio had chewed him out. Yadi would be crushed, and for what? Because of some bochinche magazine? Unacceptable. And so, the trip was on.
Another reason to see Jasmine now, before all his free time was given over to a travel itinerary written by an eight-year-old. Jasmine would have loved Yadiel’s plan. It had not one, but three pizza places on it.
He swung by the makeup trailer to see if she was there, but when the stylists caught him poking his head in, they dragged him inside to touch up his face powder and hair spray.
“Stop scowling,” the makeup artist scolded him, echoing the words Tanya had said at the Latinx in the Arts Summit. She tapped the space between his eyebrows with a sponge. “You’re getting a crease.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled, then held his breath before getting blasted with a cloud of hair spray.
When they released him, he headed over to check craft services next. Jasmine wasn’t there, but as he was grabbing a carton of water, Marquita pulled him aside.
“The music engineers are thrilled with the results of your sessions,” she told him, grinning. “These songs will be a great addition to the show soundtrack.”
Ashton inclined his head. “I’m glad they turned out well.”
Marquita made a few more comments about the music, and once Ashton was able to get away, he resumed his search for Jasmine.
Had he really wanted more space between them? Fuck that. This space thing wasn’t working for him. To make matters worse, not being able to find her was activating the same irrational fears that popped up when he couldn’t reach his father, the worry that something bad had happened.
Nothing had happened, of course. They were on a set, with tons of people around. Nothing was going to happen. Jasmine was somewhere, and wherever she was, she was safe.
So why couldn’t he find her?
She finally appeared on set at their call time and gave him a breezy smile. “Hey, Ashton. Long time no see.”
“Where were you?” His tone was harsh, and she blinked in surprise. He couldn’t blame her—he had no right to make such demands.
Before he could apologize, she said, “I was in Nino’s trailer with Lily, playing cards. Why, what’s up?”