She was still yelling as I stumbled up the stairs in a state of disbelief. King was waiting for me, leaning against my bedroom door. I could feel steam coming out of my ears. I shoved past him and walked into my room.
He grabbed me, holding my arm so I was forced to turn to face him. I snatched away, then faced him.
I was so mad. I clenched and unclenched my fists. Anger had me ready to swing at him and he knew it. His eyes narrowed in warning though his tone was normal when he said, “You should have just told her. This is why I said you act like a child. You’re eighteen and you’re letting her ground you?”
His eyebrow quirked.
“I fucking hate you,” I snapped in rage, wishing it was true.
Malevolence flashed in his eyes. He flipped out. His hand flew out and enclosed around my neck, cutting off my air supply. I didn’t process what was going on until I was already against my bedroom wall. I had to stand on my tippy toes to keep myself grounded. His hold was not sexual. There was no tingle.
The shock of what was happening had my heart beating like a bass drum. Instinct kept me from attempting to fight him. I went limp, hoping my submission placated him and he’d let go.
“Say that shit again. Say you hate me again.” He sneered, right in my face and shook me.
How in the fuck am I going to say anything when you’re fucking killing me? I thought bitterly. I shook my head no and his grip loosened, his eyes softened. He let me go all at once. I gasped for air. He stepped away.
“You shouldn’t have said that.” His voice was soft, but his stance was tense. “You can’t say stuff like that to me, Eden.” He bent and leaned in, then his lips gently caressed my forehead.
This motherfucker is crazy, was my next thought. The drugs just probably amplified whatever the fuck was wrong with him, but fundamentally he was crazy.
I took deep breaths to calm myself.
“Get out, King.” I said when I finally managed to find my voice.
He ran his hand through his hair. And narrowed his eyes.
“So, you’re mad now? You’re done with me now?”
I could hear it in his tone. He was working himself back into a frenzy.
I softened my voice. “No. I’m just tired.”
“Oh, okay. Goodnight, Eden.” He conceded too easily and the smile he gave me looked maniacal. I knew he was up to something.
He left the room without another word.
It took me a while to get myself together.
I learned that night that he could get into my locked room. I woke with him pressed into me. He whispered against my hair. “No more freak outs and no more drugs, Eden. I don’t ever want you to look at me like you did earlier.” He smoothed down my hair then kissed the back of my head. I wanted to ask, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” But I was too tired, mentally and physically. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep. Out of the blue he asked “What is it that you’re going to school for Eden? “It was a weird time to ask. It was also the first time he had asked me anything about my future. That should have set off all types of alarms. We’d talked about everything, but what I would do when I left for school.
“I want to be a civil rights lawyer.” I answered.
He hummed deep in his throat. “My own personal defense attorney. I’m a fuck up so I’m bound to need one,” he chuckled
“When I was young and imagined being a lawyer, I didn’t exactly have defending white men, who are actual criminals in mind,” I half joked.
He chuckled. “You have a smart mouth, little girl.”
“You like my mouth though, don’t you?” I reached down and grabbed the hand he had laid on my thigh and brought it my mouth, I circled the tip of one of his fingers with my tongue. He groaned while snatching his hand away.
“Stop playing around before I fuck you.” My body heated at the thought, but I could hear my mother downstairs laughing.
“None of this means I’m not still angry for the stunt you pulled.”
“I know,” he said. “I just get so jealous thinking of you wanting Ken doll or any other man like you do me and it makes me crazy. But I’ll make it up to you.”
“I should have never involved your mother. I didn’t think she would actually hit you.”
I rolled my eyes. I wanted to say more, I wasn’t about to trigger his ass again.
We both got quiet after that. My eyes got heavy. He pulled me closer and I rested against, feeling safe and secure.
Just like that, I’d forgiven him. No apology, no groveling. I was my own worst enemy when it came to King.
Just before dozing off to sleep I remembered something he’d said earlier.
“What was your dream about?” I asked.
He smoothed down my hair again before answering.
“Our wedding day. The birth of our child. I saw her. She looked just like you, but with my eyes.”
I was stunned speechless. How was I going to tell him that I was leaving after he’d told me something like that? Better yet, how was I going to leave when just the thought of being married to him and having his child made my heart feel full?
***
The next day when I woke up, he was gone. I didn’t see him for another week, but while he was away, I got a call from Spellman. They let me know all my expenses had been paid for the year. I immediately knew King had done it. I guess that was his way of apologizing, at least that’s how I took it. He had made it so I wouldn’t have to depend on Ellis either. Everything was right as rain between us when he came back, until the next incident.
Eden: It All Falls Down.
Present
“It all crumbled after that, like a house of cards.” His voice brought me back to the present. He shut his eyes and ran a hand over his jaw and sighed.
I nodded my head in agreeance. “It really did.” The only good that came from all the chaos was King getting sober. He stopped drinking and doing drugs cold turkey, for a while.
“We were doomed from the beginning.” I pushed myself on you when you didn’t want me. Maybe that’s why.”
“I wish I had a cigarette,” he muttered before he ran his hand through his hair, then leaned further into his chair. He looked like he had something to say so I waited.
“I always wanted you. Eden. From the very first moment I saw you. It was like a punch to the fucking gut. But you were so young, so I stayed away. I should have continued to stay away, but I couldn’t resist you. It came to a point where I just wanted to be around you all the time. Then that night happened, when I found you in my bed. I felt like I no longer had a choice. If I could take it back I would. We’d both be in better places.”
I scrutinized the many emotions that flickered across his face.
I laughed. “Would you take it back?” I asked, doubting he would.
He narrowed his eyes in my direction, before answering. “No. Would you have wanted me to stay away?” He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck like the question made him nervous.
I thought about it. I shook my head no. Even with all that happened I wouldn’t have wanted him to. Being with King was exhilarating. It was like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart.
Silence accompanied us as we sat. He broke through it.