“Yeah?”
“Our hiring freeze is over! What do you think about coming to work for us?”
Oh! Oh? “Oh, wow! Suzy, that’s great! What are you thinking?”
“It would be a senior account position with the salary comparable to what you were making at PR Worldwide. So it would be the same job, but so much better because you’d be working with me and I’d make sure to put you on the best accounts,” she says.
I adore Suzy and I know her firm has more fun clients than PR Worldwide, but it’s the same job. Though I have a million thoughts swirling in my head, there is only one emotion in the pit of my stomach: the tiniest seed of dread. I try to shake it off because this is the perfect opportunity. Maybe Kate was right. Maybe I was born under a lucky star. Maybe nothing in my life has to change.
“Do you need me to come in for an interview?” I ask.
“Yes, though it will just be a formality. You already know everyone, and we all know you’re more than qualified. And after you interview, you can start immediately.”
We set something up for Thursday.
AFTER HANGING UP with Suzy, I go into my closet to start thinking of my interview outfit, though I keep getting distracted by wanting to pull out possible “date-not-a-date?” outfits for Saturday. I try on my go-to black Theory pencil skirt suit, but it looks too funereal for an informal interview. I then try on my gray Theory pantsuit, but it just screams drab and no statement jewelry can save the corporateness of it. I take a different approach and try on some shift dresses and even a pink Kate Spade dress. But with every outfit I try on, that seed of dread grows. The same job. The consulting thing was never meant to be permanent, and right now The Cauldron is my only client. At a firm, I’d have regular hours, a regular salary with benefits, a steady stream of clients and … the same job.
Other than contacting Suzy and Darren, I never really did pursue the rumor about me or even think about confronting Paige after my conversation with Kate. If I had really loved my job, wouldn’t I have fought harder? Wouldn’t I have gone for the in-it-to-win-it sprint to repair my reputation in the PR community and get my job back? After I’d cooled from my initial feeling of shock on learning that Paige was behind the rumor, I also felt a little bit of “well, so what?” Paige obviously loved her job and felt threatened enough to save it. Maybe I didn’t love my job enough to pay attention to the threat of losing it. And anyway, it seems my reputation is just fine if I’m being offered the same job at another firm. Though, honestly, this thought doesn’t bring me the comfort I thought it would.
I finally decide on a colorful DVF silk print dress with an Alice & Olivia black linen jacket and patent heels. I’m not so sure that I’ve decided on this outfit because I love it, but it’s the last interview-appropriate dress in my closet, and I can’t bear to try on anything else, and so it will do. Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel no excitement. No nervousness. No sense of anticipation. I only feel that I don’t want to do this.
I take out my phone and call Suzy.
When I download all this news—about drinks with Kate, the call from Suzy, the interview I canceled, and my new business plan—to Jordan on Saturday while drinking rosé on her building’s roof deck with the other pool-goers soaking in the last warm days of September before fall weather hits, her response is, “All of it makes sense. I still think Kate can be a sneaky snake, though. Maybe she should go to law school rather than staying in public relations. And as for Paige, what she did is called slander and is actionable in court.”
“While it would be great to sue her, that’s a lot of work. It’s easier to just take her clients.”
After I talked to Suzy, I called Kate asking to meet up—I have an idea of how we can get back at Paige. Kate knew that I loved the community outreach programs, and the truth is she didn’t and wanted to get the extra work off her plate. So she’s decided to outsource all her and Paige’s clients’ (i.e., all my old clients) community relations work to my consulting firm, which now specializes in matching community outreach programs with corporate sponsorships.
When I asked Kate if she thought that was too risky, explaining that I wouldn’t want to get her fired, she shrugged and replied, “What do I care? It’ll be worth it to see Paige’s face. And if I get fired, hopefully, I can get a good recommendation from you.” She grinned as she said this last part, and I laughed.
Maybe Jordan is right that Kate is a sneaky snake, but now she’s my sneaky snake and friend again. I understand now why she felt awkward around me—who wants to tell their boss she has doubts about her fiancé. But now, we’re on a level playing field and partners in crime. Stacey and I will never recover our friendship for obvious reasons, but also I’ve realized that she was a holdover from my teenage years with my old rules of fitting in. Our friendship was based on circumstances and shallow activities rather than a deep bond. The reason Jordan and I have stayed friends is because we ultimately share similar values, such as loyalty, and I couldn’t have gotten through this summer without her—she’s my bestie till the end.
“Not to change the subject, but I’ve been dying to show you something,” Jordan says, fishing around in her straw tote bag. She finds what she’s looking for and hands me some papers.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“An application.”
“I can see that.” It’s an application for a Master of Science Mental Health Counseling program. “But why are you giving it to me? I don’t want to go back to school.”
“It’s not for you, silly. It’s for me. I’m thinking of getting out of law and becoming a psychologist or therapist.”
“You’re kidding?” All these years of Jordan complaining about her job, but insisting she couldn’t do anything else. “But what about the golden handcuffs?”
She waves her hand dismissively. “At a certain point, what’s the point if I’m that miserable? I’ve already made a lot of money. And, anyway, I intend to specialize my practice in high-achieving but miserable lawyers. Then I can make a billable hour off of them for a change.” She winks at me.
I laugh and hand her back the application. “Good for you, Jor! That sounds like an excellent idea.”
All this time, I thought Jordan was living vicariously through my self-help journey, but instead she was right alongside me. For all her denials about looking for a new job, clearly the gears in her mind were turning.
“So are you ready for the big date tonight?” Jordan asks, selflessly changing the subject from her major life-changing news to my petty issues of wardrobe.
She’s going to be an awesome shrink.
SINCE I’VE STARTED working at a coffeehouse rather than a corporate office, I’ve been rocking a more casual style lately. Also, I had decided that my hair was too high-maintenance and have been letting the brown grow back in, and so with some well-placed lowlights, it’s more of a bronde look rather than my former bright blonde. My daily makeup routine has also gone in a more minimal, low-maintenance direction, with usually just some mascara and lip gloss. While tonight I don’t do the full-on application of my former days, I do add some eyeliner and highlighter to make my eyes smolder and cheekbones glow. I’m wearing a loose black mini-slip dress with stiletto sandals that have delicate suede straps that wrap around my ankles. Even though the dress is short and shows off my legs, it’s not tight, which leaves something to the imagination.