His smile immediately falls and his dark brows furrow. “Crap. I meant to warn you about that. Listen, out on the red carpet, Darius and Liz arrived with Melody. We took pictures as a group and then Darius and Liz stepped away. I was about to step away as well, but Melody put her hand on my shoulder and I didn’t want to cause a scene or anything, so I stood there for a second before walking away. They only took that one photo before I moved away from her.”
Oh okay. So she arrived with his friends, and they had to take photos as a group. And then when Melody wanted to take a photo with him, he didn’t want to embarrass her, so that’s how this all happened. What a perfectly reasonable explanation. I should feel loads better.
I don’t.
“But then why does she think you two are dating?”
He rears back as if utterly confused.
“Dating?”
I point in the direction I just came from. “I just ran into her in the loo. She showed me the red carpet photo and mentioned you were a couple but said you would deny it because you don’t want it getting out. I just… Please be honest with me. Am I being played here? Am I the fool?”
“No. Listen.” He reaches out to touch me, but I jerk back.
I don’t want to be touched right now. I really don’t.
I look around me, at all the faces in the crowd of people who seem to know exactly what I’ve just done and who I am.
Everything suddenly feels tilted out of proportion, like I’m looking at the world through a funhouse mirror. The lights, the music, the crowd—everything is off. I hate it all and I want out. Right now.
“Candace—”
“What the fuck am I doing? Oh my god. What am I doing?” I’ve lost my grip, truly. I can’t stop myself from mumbling. “I just gave you…” I slap my hand over my mouth. “Oh my god. I’m going to be sick.”
I turn away from him and rush toward the front exit of the hall.
“Candace, stop.”
I can’t. Doesn’t he see? I’m the gross one, the loser. He arrived on the red carpet with Melody, and even if it was an accident (Was it?!), the whole internet is probably aflame with how gorgeous they are together, and then here I am…the other woman. The one in the supply closet!
I feel so disgusted with myself, like I’d peel my skin off if I could. I want to run out of this room, but I don’t let myself. I only walk quickly, aware of Logan calling my name, but I don’t bother to stop. It feels like none of this is real, like I might wake up tomorrow and find it’s all been a horrible nightmare.
Logan only catches me because on my way out, I realize I haven’t donated yet. I might not have much to spare, but the people who benefit from this charity have even less than I do. I yank open my clutch, grab what little cash I have, and stuff it in a donation box near the door. Logan grabs ahold of my arm just as I’m walking away, and he tugs me to a stop.
“Please don’t leave,” he says in a quiet voice near my ear. He’s trying to keep us from causing a scene.
“Logan.” I turn around to stare up at him with pleading eyes. “Let me go. I truly can’t be in this room. I feel like I might throw up or embarrass myself even more. I’m not mad at you, I promise!”
And it’s true. I’m not. I’m just confused. I want to leave this room and leave this dramatic life Logan leads. I want to get some space from the events of the last twenty minutes so I can put the pieces together in a way that makes sense. I can’t do that here.
I try to get free of his grip, but he doesn’t let me.
“I want no part of this strange love triangle you’ve got going on with Melody.”
“There is no love triangle. I’m not seeing her,” he insists, his voice hard and clear as he leans in close to me. He really wants me to hear what he has to say. “I swear to you, I’m not. I have no idea what she said to you, but the fact is, she and I have only gone out in a group twice. The last time was the night I saw you at District. Nothing has happened since then. Darius and Liz invited her here tonight. She’s not my date. You are.”
Then, because maybe he feels like I still don’t believe him, he leans in and kisses me with the whole room watching.
Chapter Sixteen
Candace
I’m so caught off guard I don’t flinch back right away. We kiss, and I let him try to lure me back to our blissful bubble. My concerns start to creep back into the shadows, but just before they’re gone completely, I break away from Logan and end the kiss.
No. I don’t want this. I need to clear my head.
“Come back to the table?” he asks after I turn my face away from him.
I frown, feeling horrible for having to disappoint him. “I truly can’t.”
Honestly, this night has been a total disaster, and even though I think Logan is telling the truth, I can’t just walk back into the thick of things and act as if nothing has happened. I need a breather and some space. I need a moment to reset and collect my thoughts.
“I’m going home.”
His whole body sort of sags as if he’s never been more disappointed.
“I can’t go with you. I have to stay and take my reserved spot at the table or it’ll look horrible. I’ve committed to being here for the charity.”
My eyes go wide. “Of course! I understand. I wouldn’t expect you to leave with me anyway. I’ll go and we can regroup tomorrow or something? After we’ve had some time to cool off?”
He nods, and I’m not going to lie, it’s extremely awkward to sort of shuffle a step back and break his hold on me. It’s not a breakup, but it feels an awful lot like one. He looks at me like I’m tearing his heart out, and I probably don’t look much better myself.
I force my body to turn and leave. It’s for the best.
Out in the hall, it’s quiet and empty. Everyone is inside there, with the band and the crowd and the noise of it all.
The city street is just what I need, packed with real people and their real problems. No one seems to care at all about me as I reenter it. The photographers have all gone home. Workers are dismantling the red carpet, and I pass by them unnoticed. I know I could call Pat and have him come round to get me, but it doesn’t feel right to ask him to do that. Besides, he’s not my employee. I can’t just ask him to drive me around for free. He’s on Logan’s payroll.
Instead, I start to walk. I’m highly aware of what I’m wearing and how little protection this dress provides me, so I eventually bite the bullet and flag down a cab. It makes my stomach hurt to spend money on things like this. I can’t even look as the ticking dollars start to accumulate as the driver heads back toward my flat.
We don’t talk, and I feel bad for being such a lousy customer. He probably thinks I’m always this rude, but well, I guess we’re all allowed to have a bad day every now and then. When we arrive, I thank him for the trip and try not to groan as I swipe my card and pay for the fare.
It’s too much. All of it.
Maybe I’m just not equipped to be in Logan’s life this way. Maybe I haven’t got the makeup to deal with women like Melody. After all, I couldn’t even smell her bullshit in the loo. I thought she was really being truthful, but now that I’ve had a bit of time to mull it over, I know I believe Logan. He was all over me at his party, in the pool, and Melody was there. If they were really dating, she would have flipped when she saw him with me.