“It’s okay. We’re all okay,” I cry, leaning back to see his eyes. “We’re okay,” I echo as his eyes close and his forehead touches mine.
“She’s dead,” he whispers, squeezing us tightly, and my heart breaks.
*
“Do you need anything else?” Lilly asks, standing in the open doorway of Jax’s old room with Cash’s arm around her waist.
Placing Hope on the bed, I tuck her in under the covers and press a kiss to the top of her head. After answering a few questions from the police and getting things settled, I knew there was no way I would be able to stay at the house. Not tonight, and probably not for a long time. I couldn’t even force myself to go into the house to get the clothes and stuff we would need to hold us over for a few days, and I don’t know what Jax packed.
“We’re okay, Mom,” Jax tells her, wrapping his arms around her, and his dad gives them another hug, one of the many he’s given them since they found out what happened. I think Lilly and Cash are still in shock. No one besides me knew Jax had recently been in contact with Jules, and I don’t believe anyone would have guessed she would’ve given her life for his, knowing their past history.
“Thanks again for letting us stay here,” I say quietly, taking a seat on the bed and rubbing my eyes.
“We’re family,” she says, and my eyes fill with tears.
“Are you sure you all want to sleep in here?” Cash asks.
“I need my girls close,” Jax explains quietly, moving his gaze to the bed, where Hope is a sleep, then to me.
“Whatever you need, bud,” Cash says, and I hear the rawness in his voice, which only serves to make the pain in my chest expand. “Get some sleep and we’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night,” I say, getting off the bed, hugging Cash then Lilly, and watching Jax do the same before closing the door.
“Are you tired, baby?” he asks as I go to the suitcase in the corner of the room and grab one of his shirts.
“Yes, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep,” I tell him as I take off my clothes I put on after the shower I took when we got here and put on his shirt.
“I fucked up today.”
“You didn’t,” I whisper, sitting on the side of the bed, watching as he trades his jeans for a pair of sweats.
“I did, Ellie,” he argues quietly, coming to stand in front of me, running his hand over the bruises on my throat.
“He was crazy, Jax, and now that he’s gone, all the women he’s held hostage are free from him. They have a chance to start over; their children have a chance at a normal life,” I tell him, feeling sorrow wash through me for those women and their children and what they have yet to face.
After the medical examiner ran the prints of the dead men, they found out the main guy’s name was Tobias Benedict. He was the son of a prostitute who lived in the mountains of Tennessee on a six hundred acre plot of land, which he had turned into a compound of sorts. He had reportedly said he spoke to God and that God told him it was his duty to bring forth pure children into the world, and his offspring would lead in the war against evil at the end of times.
He had a harem of women, all of them he had either kidnapped or bought, and they were all virgins, who he then had children with. I was stunned when Jax’s uncle told us he had over two hundred followers who all believed him. But knowing the world we live in, and how badly some people want to believe in something, anything, I know it’s possible.
“You were almost taken from our home. I could have lost you and Hope, and I would’ve had no way to find you,” he says, getting down on his knees in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head in my lap.
“You would have found us.” I whisper, forcing his eyes to meet mine then holding his face in my hands. “You wouldn’t have stopped until you did,” I say then drop my forehead to his. “I don’t want to play what if, not when we’re here together, not after what happened,” I whisper, closing my eyes, feeling his arms wrap around me.
“You’re right,” he says quietly, pressing his mouth to mine briefly.
Opening my eyes to meet his, I see pain and regret in his gaze that makes it almost hard to breathe. I hate that he feels so at fault for something completely out of his control.
“I love you,” I whisper as he helps me get into bed and adjust Hope between us.
“I love you too, both of you,” he says, turning off the light, casting the room in darkness. Lying there, I listen to him and Hope breathe, trying to sleep, but my brain refuses to shut off, and I can tell he’s having the same problem, because his fingers on my waist move continuously. Finally, light finds its way into the dark, and I’m able to fall asleep.
Waking up, I look across the expanse of the bed and panic when I see Jax and Hope are both gone. Sitting up, I put my feet to the floor then sag in relief when I see Hope is in the room across the hall from me, sitting on the floor, playing with both puppies and her doll. Grabbing my sweats, I put them on and walk across the hall, taking a seat next to her on the floor.
“Hey, Angel Baby,” I greet her quietly, seeing she’s not her normal happy, hyper self and that she hasn’t really acknowledged me.
“Are the bad men gone, Mama?” she asks, and my heart breaks as I pull her into my arms, settling her on my lap.
“Yes,” I whisper into her hair, breathing in her scent.
“They hurt Chocolate Chip,” she tells me, and I press my lips together to keep from crying.
“I know, Angel, but remember Aunt July said he would be okay,” I assure her. Chocolate chip had one of his legs broken and was now sporting a cast, but July said he would be fine; it would just take a few weeks for him to heal.
“Can we go home?” she asks, tilting her head back to look at me.
“In a few days.” I nod, running my fingers through her hair as she lays her head against my chest until she eventually gets up and begins playing with the puppies. Watching her for a long time, I don’t get up and leave until I hear her laugh. That sound lets me know she will be okay.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were going to talk to Jules?” I hear Cash ask as I walk around the corner into the kitchen, seeing Jax and his parents, along with Ashlyn, sitting at the table and drinking coffee.
“I didn’t want to bring up old shit for you guys. Really, I don’t know what I wanted from her,” Jax replies, rubbing his hands over his face. “When I saw her, she didn’t talk to me. I don’t even know why she was at my house yesterday,” he says in a voice full of pain as his eyes come to me and he holds out a hand in my direction. I take it, and he pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me, placing a kiss on the side of my neck.
“I’m glad she was there,” Lilly says softly, and I nod in agreement, turning in his lap and running my fingers over his jaw. If she weren’t there, things would be completely different right now. I don’t even want to imagine how terrible things could have turned out.
*
“I got it,” Jax yells from downstairs when the doorbell goes off.
“Okay,” I yell back, smiling at Hope when she laughs. It’s been three weeks since everything went down, and last night was the first time we’ve stayed in the house since then. It was terrifying walking through the front door, but Jax, along with his cousins and uncles, had painted and made some changes while we stayed with his parents, and also had the alarm system repaired and updated. Making it easier to deal with coming home.