Damn him and his stupid charm.
The ball is in my court and I know it: cowardly text, cowardly text.
“Dinner and no movie,” I relent. “I don’t think I can trust you in the dark—you may try to get fresh with me.” I really do have a knack for saying things that I immediately regret.
“WHY ARE YOU SO DRESSED UP?” Kaitlyn asks me before I head out to meet Zach.
I still haven’t told Kaitlyn about my earlier meeting with Zach or our dinner plans. Zach and I had agreed to meet at a Mexican restaurant that I had been meaning to try out. Just as long as there isn’t a mariachi band trying to serenade us, I feel as if it is a safe bet—give or take a margarita or two.
“I’m going out to dinner,” I answer, bracing myself as I come clean: “with Zach.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” she responds incredulously.
“It’s just dinner; it doesn’t mean anything.”
“Sure, it does; it means you’re giving him a chance,” Kaitlyn says, exhibiting her disapproval; she is never one to mince words. “It’s your funeral.”
“It’ll be fine. I know that you think I’m being a sucker, but he apologized and said he got scared. He felt bad about the text.”
“Really? That’s all it took—some lame apology—and just like that you’re going to give him another chance?”
“I’m not giving him another chance. I’m just going to dinner. That’s it. Besides it’s different this time—now I have the upper hand.”
“You do, do you? It seems like you’re just playing into his hands.”
“Come on; don’t be like that. I know that you think I’m being dumb, and I probably am, but it’s just one dinner.”
“What about Logan? I thought you liked him.”
“He’s dating someone else . . . remember? And anyway, we’re just friends.”
“I’ve seen the two of you together—there’s a lot of flirting going on for two people who claim to be just friends.”
“We are just friends. Can you let it rest? Anyway, I am late,” I say curtly, leaving the apartment before Kaitlyn has a chance to respond.
Zach was surprised when I told him that I’d meet him at the restaurant. “Just because it’s not a date doesn’t mean I can’t drive us,” he reasoned to which I politely declined, letting him know that I didn’t feel comfortable with that arrangement. I am actually proud of myself for establishing boundaries and maintaining the upper hand.
Zach, once again, is the first to arrive. This time he is already seated at a corner booth. I am grateful for the hostess who graciously leads me to the table, serving as a buffer between Zach’s piercing stare and me.
“I went ahead and ordered us a margarita,” he tells me when I arrive at the table. “I got you the Skinny Girl kind.” I try not to act impressed, but I am—he actually remembered that I ordered Skinny Girls.
I take a sip to calm my nerves. The restaurant is more intimate and upscale than I envisioned. Rather than being a casual run-of-the-mill Mexican restaurant, it is dimly lit with candle centerpieces and soft background music making our dinner feel romantic, like an official date.
“I didn’t expect it to be so fancy,” I confess.
“I like it; I think it’s a good choice. It’s quiet so we can hear each other talk.”
I smile meekly; the quiet is what’s so unnerving. It provides Zach the perfect setting to unarm me with his irresistible charm. As I speak about work and my upcoming yellow belt test, he listens attentively, asking questions, and participating in the conversation with stories about his work. The Zach staring back at me from across the table is the Zach I remember and fell for—before the notorious text.
I try hard to remain guarded and cautious—even when he reaches across the table to hold my hand and even when he delicately brushes my hair out of my face before giving me a gentle good night kiss on the cheek. I remain strong and in control of my feelings—until Zach shares his. Taking my hands and staring deeply into my eyes, Zach tells me how much he likes me and then sweetly asks me for another date—and then another one after that. “I know a bargain when I see one . . . so I’ll take the two for one deal.”
“Gross, how cheesy,” Kaitlyn reacts when I tell her what Zach says.
Like a popped balloon, my excitement evaporates with Kaitlyn’s pessimistic interpretation of our date. I mean, our dinner meeting.
“He was just trying to be cute,” I say defensively.
“Cute? He sounds more like a douche. Please tell me that you are not falling for his BS again?”
“I’m not falling for it. I’m also not holding a grudge. He got scared—it happens.”
“You do know that guys don’t operate like us—they don’t back away because they’re afraid of getting hurt. They do it because they are cowards and afraid of commitment.”
“Because they don’t want to get hurt,” I surmise.
“No, because they’re assholes.”
“I don’t get it. Why are you so negative?”
Honestly, I don’t understand why Kaitlyn is so jaded and pessimistic. It isn’t as if some love of her life had hurt her. I’m the one who has been dumped time and time again—or at least it seems. It is my feelings on the line – not hers – so I don’t understand why she is being so negative about Zach.
“I just don’t want you getting hurt again. Guys like that don’t usually change.”
“Guys like what?”
“The kind that blow you off with a text.”
“For the last time—I know. He made a mistake. It doesn’t mean that he will do it again. Can’t you just trust that I know what I’m doing? I’m not going into this blindly.”
“Fine, but it doesn’t mean that I have to like him.”
...
15
Dating 101. Chapter 1- Friends
Dating is essentially one big board game—in order to move ahead, you need to accomplish a series of challenges. Failing at a challenge can set you back a few spaces; sometimes taking you out of the game completely. Meeting the friends of the person you’re dating is the ultimate test in determining if you can move forward in your quest for a solid relationship. The friends of the person you’re dating may hate you; they may even tolerate you; but having them like you is a major victory.
THE JURY IS STILL OUT on what Zach’s friends, Tyler and John, think of me. I never met them the first go-around when Zach and I dated. Our dates then were mainly exclusive—no double dates, no meet ups with friends. Looking back, I wonder if that was intentional.
This go-around, however, Zach introduces me to his friends right away. Starting with his friend John, a bartender. According to Zach, bartending is only a temporary gig for John, but from my observation, it doesn’t appear as if John is in a hurry to change his vocational direction. My first introduction to John is at the bar where he works. He is friendly enough, making small talk with me, while bestowing Zach and I with free drinks. For the most part, I like him, mainly because he doesn’t seem to take himself or anything too seriously. Even when the bar is exceedingly busy and overflowing with drink requests, he always seems unruffled. His light-hearted demeanor is reassuring.