He threw himself on her mercy.
That lie, that horrible lie, was unraveling before his eyes.
“I am sorry,” he said, closing his eyes and suddenly pitching forward onto his knees as if all of his strength had abruptly left him. “Juliandra, I am so sorry. God forgive me for not telling you, but I cannot lie to you now. Aye, I knew he was there. I simply could not bring myself to tell you.”
Juliandra stopped pacing and looked at him, her eyes wide with horror. “You knew?”
“I did.”
Her face went from bright red to deathly pale. “How long have you known?”
“Since the day he tried to go around my toll booth.”
A cry of disbelief escaped her lips. “He has been dead all this time?”
“Aye.”
“And you let be believe that he was alive?” she gasped. “You knew that he… my God, you knew it all along?”
“I did. God forgive me, I did.”
She stared at him in disbelief and the tears, recently abated, returned with a vengeance. She screamed again, this time in rage as she realized what he’d done.
He’d lied to her.
“I thought you were different,” she said, openly weeping. “You were kind and decent and sweet… I thought you had heart and feelings. I could see it in you. I could feel it. But now I know it was all a lie. Everything you told me was a lie. I should never have trusted you!”
He was still on his knees, his head lowered because he couldn’t look at her. He started to speak but the words wouldn’t come. He started to choke on them and with a mighty roar, he ended up on his feet, bellowing like a madman.
Everything exploded.
“It’s true,” he boomed. “I lied because I needed your help and if I had told you the truth about your father, you would have blamed me for his death. I could not take that chance, so I lied and I have never regretted anything more in my entire life. Your father’s death was an accident, Juliandra. When he was arrested by my soldiers, he fought with them so much that he fell off the horse and broke his neck. It was simply an accident, but I knew you would not believe me. I knew you would blame me. So, I lied to you.”
The anguish on her face was unfathomable and, after a moment, she flew at him, slapping him across the face so hard that his head snapped sideways.
“You… you bastard!” she sobbed. “How could you do that? How could you keep that from me when you knew… God, you knew all along and you played me for a fool!”
Kevin knew he deserved the slap and so much more. He looked at her, his eyes filled with turmoil. “It was wrong of me,” he said hoarsely. “I am completely unworthy to be your husband, but I love you so much that I cannot put it into words. Now I cannot stand this pain in my heart because I can see in your eyes that you hate me. I wish I were the one lying dead in the vault now because I cannot go on without you. I cannot… I cannot do it.”
With that, he wandered away like a drunk man, his hands on his head, muttering to himself. Juliandra watched him go, so stunned that she couldn’t even speak.
But Sean could speak. He watched his brother go, tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. Slowly, he climbed off his horse, watching Kevin wander back across the field. He looked at Juliandra, who was watching Kevin meander aimlessly.
He could see the anguish in her face.
“My lady,” he said tightly. “I know you have not known Kevin for very long. I know that you do not know the man’s character like I do, but I will tell you this – there is no one on this earth more trustworthy or honest than my brother. In spite of your words, he is not a deceiver. The man has never lied in his life, but he lied to you because he needed you. He made a decision, right or wrong, to protect his castle and his men because he needed information he thought you could provide. Unfortunately, that decision involved deception, something that has been eating away at him since the day it happened. Your father is dead and hating my brother will not bring him back. What he did was wrong and he knows it, but do not make him pay for the rest of his life. If you feel anything for him, and I know you do, then mayhap in time you can find it in your heart to understand and forgive. He lied to a woman he had no idea he would fall in love with.”
Juliandra’s gaze was still on Kevin. “But he let me believe… he let me think…”
Sean cut her off. “Aye, he did,” he said. “But it was only because the more time passed, the more difficult it was to tell you. He backed himself into a corner and did not know how to get out of it. He loves you. Juliandra… I have been around the two of you for the past two days. I have seen what you mean to each other.”
A sob escaped her lips. “I… I thought we did. I was so happy. But it is all a lie.”
Sean shook his head. “Kevin’s love for you is not a lie, I promise. Nor is yours for him. You must have faith in that love.”
“I do not know if I can.”
“Let that love heal you both, Juliandra. Please.”
Juliandra blinked and the tears spilled over. As Sean watched, she mouthed his brother’s name, watching him as he continued to head back to Wybren. For a moment, he thought she might actually follow him. He thought she might call to him. But in the end, she couldn’t do it.
Sobbing, she turned away and headed back across the field.
Heartbroken for his brother, Sean made the decision to follow her simply to make sure she didn’t run into any trouble. He followed her to a road on the other side of the field that headed north, and he listened to her sobs echo off the trees as she walked. It was the worst thing he’d ever heard. She continued to walk, and he continued to follow at a respectful distance until they came to a small village.
By this time, Juliandra was exhausted and staggering, but she made her way to a large manse surrounded by a wall covered in thorny vines. Sean reined his horse to a halt, watching as the old iron gate opened for her and she went into the yard beyond.
Suspecting she was home, and safe for the moment, Sean remained a few minutes longer just to make sure. Through the iron gate, he could see her standing inside the courtyard of the manse, wandering over to what looked like a small garden and sitting heavily on a stone bench. He watched her put her face in her hands.
After that, there was nothing more he could do.
Turning the horse around, he headed back to Wybren.
He had a brother he needed to find.
“He is in a bad way,” Alexander said quietly. “What in the hell happened, Sean?”
Sean was standing in the doorway of the solar in the keep of Wybren, watching his brother literally drink cup after cup of that strong pear cider. He was downing cup after cup of it as Sean, Alexander, and Gareth stood and watched.
No one was sure what to do.
All anyone knew was that Lady de Lara had run off, but after putting the pieces of the puzzle together, the knights that knew about the situation with the lady’s father figured out that she had gone into the vault below the keep, hunting for provisions, and had found the body of her father in one of the small vault chambers.
Whispers of Lady de Lara’s hysterical flight were flying around.
Sean grunted at the sight of his despondent brother. “God,” he muttered. “We need to get that drink away from him before he kills himself.”