“Lucy,” Sebastian says softly, cracking the door open. I peek up at him and he walks into the room and sits on the bed beside me. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head and squeak, “No.”
“Come here.” He pulls me up off the pillow and into his arms.
I lay my head on his shoulder and cry into his T-shirt. “What am I doing, Bas?”
“You’re taking a break.” He rubs my back. “You just needed a break.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I’m a mess.” I sit up and wipe my face on my shirt. “A hot pregnant mess.”
He pulls a few tissues out of the tissue box on the nightstand and hands them to me. “You’re allowed to be a hot mess right now.”
“Do you think I did the right thing, Bas? He’s so vulnerable right now.”
He gives me an earnest look. “I know Sam’s going through a lot right now, but so are you. Aside from the exhibit coming up and recovering from a car accident, you’re growing a tiny human. And she needs you.” He smiles softly. “She needs you healthy and strong and ready to be the best mom you can be for her. That’s why you’re taking a break. For her.”
“She needs her father too.”
“It’s just a break, Lucy, not a breakup.”
“It hurt him, Sebastian. What if he doesn’t forgive me?”
“For doing what’s right for his daughter? Sam Cole loves two things: you and the baby.” He closes his eyes and says, “Okay, three things. Boxing is obviously important too.”
I close my eyes and the tears come again. “He was so broken after the fight. I’ve never seen him like that before.”
“He’s human. He’s going to break from time to time.” He hands me the box of tissues. “So are you.”
“I just want everything to go back to normal.”
“Normal?” Bas laughs. “Nothing about you and Sam has ever been normal. You’re life has been a whirlwind since the second he came back into it.”
“Is it too much to ask for a gentle breeze from time to time?”
“Breezes are boring. Breezes are Drew. Sam is a storm, filled with thunder and lightning. But isn’t that what you love about him?”
I nod and let go of the idea of a quiet life, because know I’ll never have that with Sam. “I’m sorry I woke you up. Did I wake up Paul?”
“No, he’s still snoring away.” He rolls his eyes and laughs softly. “Hey, I know something that will cheer you up.” He gets up and opens the curtains, and soft sunlight fills the room. “Let’s go shopping for the new house.”
I sniff and smile at him. “Okay.”
“Get up, get a shower, brush your teeth.” He pulls me up by my hands and I stand in front of him. “You’ll feel better, I promise. I’ll go make some coffee.”
“Okay.”
He leaves the room and I gather my clothes off the back of the green tufted armchair in the corner. I choose my stretchy gray Henley dress and a pair of sneakers.
After my shower, I dry my hair and pull it up into a messy bun on the top of my head. I grab my bag and my sunglasses and meet Sebastian in the kitchen.
“Ready?” he asks, handing me a to-go cup of coffee while looking effortlessly casual in a scoop-neck black and white striped T-shirt, navy blue slacks, and crisp white sneakers.
“Yep.”
We drive through the city, going from store to store, and I follow Sebastian around as he picks out furniture and various pieces of décor he thinks would be perfect for my and Sam’s new house.
“I like this,” I say, rubbing my hand over a faux fur blanket that’s draped over the back of a leather chair. It’s marbled with beige and brown and gray lines that blend together.
“Looks like wolf fur,” Bas says, and I move my hand away.
“Then Sam wouldn’t like it.”
He pauses and looks at me. “Why?”
“He has a thing with wolves.”
Bas gives me a funny look, but I only notice it for a moment. My heart takes off in a sprint when I see who’s behind him, and my stomach tightens under my dress.
“Lucy,” Drew says, making his way around a large wooden table that’s separating us.
Sebastian’s eyes widen and he mouths, Is that Drew?
I ignore him and keep my eyes on Drew, afraid that if I look away I might not be able to keep my feet from carrying me to the nearest exit.
“Hey,” he says, standing in front of me, and something about his familiar voice resonates deep inside me.
“Hi, Drew,” I say, sounding as surprised as I am.
Sebastian turns around and looks at him. “Hello, Drew. It’s nice to see you,” he says cordially, and I give him a quick glance.
“Hi, Sebastian. How have you been?”
“I’ve been well. Thanks.”
“That’s good to hear,” Drew says, looking at me again, staring for a second too long. “You look…you look great, Luc.” He glances down at my stomach and shakes his head. “Wow.” He smiles softly and it tugs hard at my heart. “It’s a good look on you.”
I press my lips together and tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Thanks,” I say quietly.
He eyes the engagement ring on my hand. “So when’s the big day?” He smiles over the sadness in his eyes, and I see the life we were supposed to have reflected in them.
“We, um, we haven’t set a date yet.” I smile uncomfortably. “Maybe after the baby’s born.”
He puts his hands in his pockets and looks at my stomach again. “I can’t believe you’re going to be a mom.”
“Me neither,” I say with wide eyes, trying to pretend that a piece of my heart isn’t breaking for him.
“You’re going to be really great,” he says sincerely, and it squeezes my heart so hard I can barely breathe.
“Lucy, wasn’t there something you were meaning to talk to Drew about?” Sebastian says, looking at me expectantly.
“What?” I blink up at him and he gives me a knowing look. “Oh, right,” I say, finding my way out of the emotional rabbit hole I fell into. I look at Drew. “Drew, I um, I don’t know if you got my letter or not, but—”
“If this is about the studio, Lucy…it’s yours. I wanted you to have it. There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Is that why you didn’t call?”
“I got your letter,” he says, dropping his chin, “but I just didn’t know what else to say.”
“Drew, I know you want to give me the studio, and I’m so grateful, but…” I reach into my purse and pull out the deed that’s been burning a hole in it for the better part of a month. “I can’t accept it.” I hand it to him. “I signed it back over to you.”
“Lucy.”
“We can be as out soon as you need, but if you could give me a few weeks, that would really help.”
He gives me a look that tugs at my heart. “Take as much time as you need.”
I open my mouth to thank him, but before I can get any words out, a tall, pretty brunette with a bright white smile walks over to us. “There you are,” she sings in a soft southern accent, putting her hand on Drew’s back. “I thought I lost you.” She looks at us and smiles. “He hates when I drag him around from store to store like this.”