Now that knocked the wind out of me. Taking a seat, I read over the results of my test and the acceptance letter. Going to school, I did that for them to show them that I was more than the streets and they could have more as well. The risks I took every day by being second in command under Mitch I needed to be covered in all areas. Just how it was mandatory to always carry my heat on me it was pivotal that I became educated on the law system. Though it was never created to protect black men, that was not an excuse for me to walk around not knowing my rights and how the judicial system worked.
Everything I achieved was for my brothers and sadly for my mother. If the day ever came where she and I stood face to face I wanted to rub it in her face that I made it without her. Show her that I not only graduated with my bachelors and masters, but I had Esquire behind my name. Those same mutt children she left so easily became something in spite of her wrongdoing as our parent.
“Thank y’all. I really appreciate it.” I cleared my throat of the buildup of emotions.
“I’m proud of you, Amell. I really am. I tell my teacher’s all the time that you’re my role model.” Atlas knew how to make this moment more sentimental.
“Now we know that if we ever go to jail you can bail us out and defend us.” Leave it to Cassian to go that far. I had no plans on becoming a lawyer.
My purpose shifted many, many moons ago from wanting to be an accountant to needing to study the judicial system. Granted, knowledge was free and didn’t require me to sit in a classroom early in the morning, I had to be an example to Atlas and Cassian. Be a little different. Even Pacino enrolled with me and he graduated not too long ago with his MBA.
This was for my brothers, not me.
“What’s in the box?” Atlas tapped the velvet rectangle box that I’d yet to open.
“Oh, it’s from Pacino.” Opening the box, we all said ‘damn’ at the same time. A chrome desert eagle sat in the box with custom chrome bullets. On the handle of the gun my initials were engraved. A.K. Esq.
My brothers hadn’t changed their last name yet and it wasn’t required. I refused to carry the name of a coward. Mitch had been more of a father to me than anyone.
“He was supposed to be here, but he got called to handle business.” Cassian tried to touch the gun, but I slammed the case shut. “My bad. I won’t touch it…yet.”
Today started off-balance with Mahogany wanting more. I killed somebody today and also found out I was going to law school.
Life was good.
Interlude
Love is many things. It's varied. One thing it is not and can never be is unsure.
Maya Angelou
Chapter 3
Krishna
Turning eighteen only meant that I turned eighteen. Nothing more, nothing less. Uncle Lamont never implemented the curfew my parents wanted me to have. I’ve been driving since I got my permit at fifteen, and I had a credit card when I learned how to add and subtract. All this birthday meant was that I had graduated high school and finally, finally had the opportunity to live on my own. UCLA technically wasn’t that far from home, but it still required my parents to travel by plane for over six hours to get to me. That’s all that mattered right now.
I wanted space between any adults that knew me. It hadn’t always been this way. After I passed the ACT with a thirty-two and fifteen-fifty on the SAT, I just knew that the University of Miami was going to be my next home. Mitchell Kalmin became my worst enemy when he shut that down. NYU even offered me a full four-year scholarship and he shut that down as well. California was it. I couldn’t go anywhere else.
While today I became an adult in the eyes of the law, my parents and those around me still treated me like a child.
I graduated yesterday and surprisingly both of my parents came. Mom already said she was coming but to see my father, that was kinda nerve-wracking considering the last few years our relationship has been rocky. I hated his method of parenting and he hated that I challenged his authority.
Once they took me out to eat to celebrate my father was gone, leaving a brand-new Mercedes Benz in the driveway. That’s what he did. Gave me gifts to substitute his absence. I tried not to look too deep, but I was a little wounded. When they called my name all I heard was my friends and Uncle Lamont. When we took our pictures, they weren’t in any of them. They remained in the shadows until we got to the rented-out restaurant that only served us four. I couldn’t even invite Beck or Gavin to come.
When I saw my mother, I looked behind her and inside the SUV they came in. Amell wasn’t anywhere to be found. They had security but not him and that soured my mood significantly. It’s been two years since I stared into those charcoal black eyes. Eyes weren’t meant to be that color but his were. Maybe it had to do with the life he lived that made them appear so dark and mysterious. Either way, he wasn’t here.
“When are you going to take me for a ride in your new S-Class?” A rough but gentle thumb rubbed along my jaw making me show all my pearly whites.
Gavin and I were an item. A thing. Kinda drifting in that territory of being a couple. He wanted to be one hundred percent exclusive and I felt opposite. Granted we were both going to the same college and even living in close proximity dorms. It’s like once I got the guy all the girls wanted; he became so less attractive to me.
Rolling my tongue over my teeth I gave him my full attention. He’d been asking for it all night since he arrived at my party. My theme was hip-hop and R&B; two of my favorite music genres. You either came dressed as your favorite hip-hop artist or R&B group. My uncle thought we were going to have a couple people, but I knew my status and the popularity I had. Our entire three-acre backyard was full of people dancing, eating, and having a good time.
“I think I deserved to be driven around in my lady’s car since I dressed up for you, K.” I loved when he called me ‘K’. He wasn’t the first to say it but the way he said it sounded so rugged and flirty.
I dressed up as Left Eye from TLC and he granted my wish by dressing up as Devonte Swing from H-Town. He already had the low-cut Caesar with the hazel eyes. It fit him perfect and made me glad to call him my dude…sorta.
“Only if you promise to dance with me when they play my favorite song.” Suddenly I felt the back of my neck cover with chills and hair raised on my arms. I took in the whole scene and nothing stood out. Shaking off the feeling I leaned in and kissed his lips. A quick peck that I knew had the females pissy. “If you don’t know what song it is when it’s played then that’s on you.”
Those hazel eyes gleamed at me. These past two years dealing with Gavin had been weird. More so for me than him. Girls of course started rumors, but I paid them no mind. Gavin was too far up my rear for him to even pay another chick some attention. If he wasn’t at practice, then he was at mine. We talked on the phone all day and night, and on the weekends we were together. For me to not be so into him my actions said the opposite.
My v-card hadn’t left my pocket, and it’s not like we didn’t have the opportunities because we did. There were a few times when he got finger happy and my palms became more than sweaty. But that’s it. My mama always said that I’d know love by the flutters in my gut and the stirring in my soul. Ain’t nothing in my soul stirred at all for Gavin. It might be bored.