I don’t hate him. I just hate what he said, and I hate how I reacted to it, and I hate how we’ve treated each other since I walked into this house. I hate that things changed so drastically after the way we spent the weekend together, and I really hate that I don’t see a way to get past it.
I hate that when this is over, I won’t get to walk into a room and see him sitting there. I won’t get to think of ways to drive him crazy.
On paper, I suppose he’ll just be a blip on my otherwise perfect record. But the stamp he left on my heart even after just a few short days together definitely spells more than that.
We’re in the back of a car with Dax, Adam, Rascal, and Brody, and I can hardly believe I’m actually here.
I try to imagine what it’d be like if Gage wasn’t here, if it was just me and four of the men I’ve admired for years. But it’s hard to imagine when I see Gage cracking dirty jokes with Brody, and when I see him asking Adam about his pregnant wife and their house on the beach, and when I see him talking to Rascal about what it’s like to play with Ruby versus with MFB, and when I see him talking to Dax about producing Rock on the Road.
In fact, as I watch him with them and I sit rather quietly as I don’t know exactly what to say, I can clearly see how well he fits in with them.
He’s one of the guys. He’s the fifth man in their poker games, the one who brings an extra case of beer and grabs a cigar to join in when he sits at their table. He’s not a replacement for Kane, and he understands that. He’s simply a new member who already fits with these guys like the brother they were missing all along.
And then there’s me.
The sweet, innocent country girl who’s probably in over her head.
I wish I could be more present here in this conversation, but I feel like a sixth wheel. This is my chance to get to know these guys outside of the competition on a more personal level, and I’m blowing it because I can’t stop watching Gage interacting with them.
“You have feelings for him,” Dax says quietly beside me. It isn’t a question.
I smile wryly at him. “It doesn’t really matter.”
“Maybe, maybe not. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but you two are the frontrunners. Does that change things?”
I chuckle. “We are?”
He nods. “How do you feel about competing one-on-one against the man you’re in love with?”
I press my lips together. “I want it, Dax.” I glance out the window. “I want it so bad. It would be an honor to be a part of what you all have built, and I’d play my heart out for you every single day.”
“I know you would.” He’s still speaking quietly so we can’t be heard over the quiet din in the back of the car.
“But look at him.”
Dax glances over to where I’ve been staring since we got in the car. He’s cracking up, and Brody and Adam are laughing beside him. Rascal’s typing something on his phone, seemingly oblivious to the fact that there are other people around him.
“He fits with you guys,” I say. I let out a heavy sigh.
Dax nods. “He does. He’s a perfect fit. But, Lexi, come on. You wouldn’t still be here if we didn’t think you had qualities that would fit with us, too.”
I glance over at him, and he looks sincere.
“Let it go for tonight,” he advises. “Whatever’s up in your head, put it aside. Go have fun on that stage. And regardless, remember who’s watching. I’m not saying that to make you nervous. I’m simply reminding you that even if it isn’t you in the end of this competition, other opportunities might await.”
I give him another wry smile and nod. “Thanks, Dax.”
He elbows me playfully in the arm, and it’s an easy gesture that makes me feel like while Gage might fit in as a brother with these guys, maybe I could fit in as a little sister.
CHAPTER 40: GAGE
I glance over at Lexi. I keep looking at her, and it seems like every time I do, she’s just looking away from me. We’re playing a strange game and I can’t tell who’s on top.
I want her on top of me, though. That’s for damn sure.
She’s talking to Dax, and I wish I could hear what they’re saying.
Once we’re on the Ashmark practice stage, I look out at the crowd.
The seats are all empty.
“I thought we were playing for executives,” I say.
Dax nods. “We are.”
We are.
Like I’m already part of the band.
“We just got here early so the four of us could run through the song with you a few times,” he says.
“So you want us to teach you how to play our song?” Lexi asks.
Dax nods. “Yeah. It’s your song, the two of you, and as we play, you give us notes and tweaks and we’ll do what you say.”
Lexi’s eyes get real round and I can’t help but laugh. She almost looks like a Disney princess for a second—just without the animal sidekick.
I play the song on Rascal’s keyboard first so everyone can get a feel for the music, and he’s able to immediately duplicate what I just did. Dax and Adam both play guitar, and Brody keeps the beat on drums while Lexi and I play bass together and sing the words we wrote separately together.
I adjust a few things with Dax and Adam, and she has some notes for Brody, and Rascal keeps the same melody we wrote on the piano just yesterday.
Our hour is spent much faster than I expected, and we head backstage while the audience members take their seats.
I peek out from the side stage.
I recognize several of the people sitting in the crowd, including the four members of Vail and what looks to be their wives and kids, Kane and a woman who must be Ruby along with a couple other guys, and a bunch of people in suits.
It’s a small theater, but the seats are mostly full.
It’s the most important stage I’ve ever taken, and I need to prove it’s a stage where I belong.
I ignore the pounding of my heart in my chest. I ignore the rush of anxiety in my ears. I draw in a deep breath and breathe out the nerves. And then, I focus on one thing: the music.
Because that’s why we’re here.
That’s what matters.
We walk out when Dax gives us the signal. We pick up our instruments, and Lexi and I hit the first note along with Adam’s guitar. The others join in, and we sing the words, and we fucking kill it.
Lexi is amazing. Her voice is on point, gorgeous and haunting, and I pour all of the heartbreak I feel into my own words as my eyes meet hers.
In fact, we kill it so much that we get a standing ovation from the crowd when we’re done.
Dax glances back at Brody and nods, and he hits the snare to dive into one of MFB’s songs. As much as I want to revel in the glory of what we just did, I don’t have time.
I pick up the bassline of the song they’re playing, one of MFB’s biggest hits, and the crowd goes wild. I’m focused on what I’m doing, so I don’t see whether Lexi has joined in.
I hear her, though.
She’s taking the opportunity to back up on vocals, and I don’t let her get away with it on her own. I dive into back-ups, too.
I look out over the crowd, and instead of feeling nervous about who’s watching us, I forget about it. I see them dancing and singing along with Dax. I see them having a great time. It’s making me have a great time, too.