“Gave me time?” I pull my hand from his and stand. “I thought you weren’t talking about it because it’s my decision.”
“It is, and it isn’t. I’m not going to stand by and watch you live in pain when I can do somethin’ about it. That’s not the kind of man I am.”
“So you’d rather compromise my safety and make decisions for me? Is THAT the kind of man you are?”
I swear he growls under his breath.
When he doesn’t say anything further, simply sitting infuriatingly on the couch watching me, I goad him further. The anger feels like it’s suffocating me, and like the only way to relieve myself of this fury is to let it out.
I should have taken a second.
I should have thought my words through.
I didn’t, and I regretted it immediately.
“So let me get this straight. I take a week to think over my actions, actions that could have severe consequences to my well-being, not to mention my life, and instead of talking to me about those actions, oh I don’t know, anytime in the past seven days, you decide it’s a good time to go from my sweet, helpful Alex and turn back into a controlling asshole named Sin.”
“I am Sin, and don’t you forget it!” he roars from the couch, and I know it’s cliché but god, does he roar. The sound rips from his throat in a howl that could rival the fiercest predator. His pain and anger morph into something I’ve never seen before. It frightens and burns me all at once. So yes, he goddamn roars.
“I’m not a savior. I’m the fucking devil incarnate. I take shit and ruin it.” His hands rise at his sides defeatedly, and his voice drops. “I’m not your goddamn white knight, Shel. Don’t look at me like I turned your hell into roses. Look around you. Dark walls still surround you. It’s just a different type of prison.”
Tears prick my eyes as I whisper, “That’s not true.”
“It is.”
He scrubs his hand tiredly down his face. “It fuckin’ is. This place. Hiding here with Elias or me. Your pain. All of it shackles you to this life; though different than the one you came from, you’re still not free.” Alex takes a deep breath, and mutters, “I just want you to be free.”
I can’t take seeing the pain written all over his face. It overshadows my residual anger. “I was wrong,” I choke out through the tears clogging my throat. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.” Crossing the space between us, I approach him. Carefully, but only for his benefit because I know he’d never hurt me even though he’s upset.
He doesn’t so much as twitch as I near, and his head remains cradled in his hand.
My body may be small, but I’m not weak. I use my shoulder and power my way into his chest. Alex lets out a grunt and falls back against the cushions as I clamor onto his lap.
“Shel …” he warns, finally pulling his hand from his face. The wariness etched around his eyes snags my heart. I did that to him.
Straddling his hips, I cage him in with a hand on either cheek, strikingly similar to a position he held me in not so long ago when he wanted to make a point. “Tell me about this doctor,” I plead.
“Doc was a friend of my father’s. He’s the one who looked you over that first day. I called him for a favor. There’s a female doctor in the town Mora, roughly an hour and a half from here. I truly believe you’ll be safe from anyone who might recognize you.”
My fingertips flex against his cheeks. “What kind of doctor is she?”
Alex grabs one of my hands and slides my palm to his lips. “Don’t be nervous,” he murmurs there. His whiskers tickle my hand. “She’s an OB/GYN.”
My eyelids flutter closed as a shot of arousal takes over me. Straddling his hips, coupled with his lips against my palm, turns my blood molten.
“Okay,” I answer breathlessly. “But on one condition.”
Maybe the sound of my voice gives me away, or maybe Alex has a radar for when a woman is turned on, but the look he gives me from beneath his lashes while still kissing my palm cranks my desire up tenfold.
“What would that be?”
“I need you to kiss me.”
His shoulders tense.
I breathe shallowly, waiting, wondering if I said the wrong thing or went too far. He wouldn’t do it just to appease me. I know that much to be true. Seconds tick past like minutes in the past hour of school on a Friday afternoon. I close my eyes and breathe.
Alex presses his lips back to my palm. “Like this?”
“No.”
“Hmm.”
His nose skates up along my inner forearm. Goose bumps appear along my skin.
“Here?” His soft lips touch my inner elbow, and I shudder in response.
“No, Alex,” I groan. “You know where.”
“Baby.” He huffs that sound again, almost a laugh that he isn’t fully committed to. I can feel the gust of breath against my skin. “Is this my penance or my reward?”
The answer sits on the tip of my tongue. Alex moves his hands, one cradling my hip and the other skidding along my spine to the base of my neck. I force it out. “Maybe it’s my reward.” I squeal as he suddenly pistons his hips, shifting both our weight into the air and maneuvering us around.
He cradles me, and my back hits the softness of the cushion, pinning his arm between myself and the couch. The turn of his lips becomes salacious. Our eyes lock, and his nearly sparkle with what I want to call desire. Without releasing my stare, Alex lowers his head fraction by fraction until his mouth is pressing directly over my pubic bone through my jeans. I’m sweltering and shivering all at once. More than anything, I’m relieved when desire edges out my fear. The image of this beast of a man, with his long strands of hair, thick beard, and a plethora of colorful tattoos, face down at the most private area of my body burns itself into my brain.
“Here,” he states huskily. Even he can’t hide the effect this is having on him. That thought produces another. I wonder if he’s hard.
“Ung. No,” I groan accidentally. My control is slipping. I’m about ready to beg him to kiss me already.
Maybe that’s what he wants?
He seems to take some pity on me as he starts moving again, first ascending from my pubic bone to the little sliver of skin at my shirt hem. There he places another tender kiss just above the waistband of my jeans.
I think my blood pressure is rising.
Alex glides his fingertips over my sides until they catch beneath the hem. He keeps going, exposing my stomach centimeter by centimeter until he stops near the center.
Still watching one another, he dips his head, kisses my stomach and swirls his tongue around my belly button.
I have to break eye contact as my head falls back against the couch. “Good lord,” I sigh and squirm against his hold. His fingers contract into my sides, tickling slightly.
“Hold still, blossom.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Then I’ll speed this up a bit.”
He lies, whether intentional or not. It feels like an eternity passes as he scales his way up my body, stopping every few inches to drop a kiss over my clothing. The barrier of thread nonexistent as his lips sear my flesh. The higher he climbs, the more of his body becomes accessible to me. Our legs touch, and his thigh slips between mine. His arm wraps more fully around me as the other supports some of his heavy weight. I can’t help but slip my palms beneath the back of his tee and glide them along the silky skin of his muscular back.