“I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s not much to be said. My grandmothers, who are both widows, were incredible. They helped me find a way through the grief. It took a while, but I bounced back. I thought he’d approve of me going to school since I wasn’t going to be a stay-at-home mother after all, and I didn’t want to waitress for the rest of my life. Although, I made a very decent living at the restaurant.”
“He’d be so proud of you. I’m proud of you, and I just met you.”
“Thanks. I like to think he’d be proud that I survived it. He loved me so much. I never had any doubt about that.”
“He was lucky, and he knew it. Smart man.”
“We were both lucky.”
“Did he always want to be a cop?”
“From the time he was twelve and did a ride-along with a friend’s dad who was a cop. He never deviated from that plan. We even waited to get married until he’d completed his training. It’s comforting to know he was doing exactly what he loved when he died.”
“I’m glad you are able to see it that way.”
“There’s no other way to look at it, really.”
The GPS directs us to the address Deb gave me, and I finally release my hold on Carmen’s hand as I find a visitor parking space. “We don’t have to do this now if you’re not up to it.”
She smiles warmly at me, making the breath catch in my lungs. Affection of any kind from her feels like a rare, special gift. “You’re just hearing about this. For me, it’s old news.”
“I suppose it is.”
“Not that it has ever reached the point where it doesn’t still hurt. It just doesn’t hurt like it did at first, when it was an open wound making me wonder if my life was over, too.”
Is it weird that I hurt for her? Probably. The ache stays with me as we go inside and take the elevator to the seventh floor where Deb is waiting for us. My emotions are all over the place after hearing Carmen’s story. She’s certainly helped to give me perspective on my current predicament.
So what if my career is a mess at the moment? No one is dead. It’s sobering to realize the full magnitude of what she went through at the tender age of twenty-four. I try to picture her surrounded by people and police officers and compassion and endless sympathy. After having known her for only two days, I have little doubt she was strong and resolute through it all, determined to make her young husband proud of her.
As we step into the condo, I can tell this place is special. It’s modern and fresh but still warm and inviting. The view of the bay is dazzling. We’re high enough that we can see the boats and activity, but not so high that it seems like we’re looking down on a tiny village. In New York, I lived on the twenty-eighth floor of my building, far removed from the goings-on below. That was a good thing there. Here, being a little closer to the action below seems good.
“I love it,” I tell Deb.
“I do, too,” Carmen says. “This kitchen is to die for. You have two ovens and the best fridge money can buy. We have three of these at the restaurant.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about glass doors on the fridge.”
“Abuela says it’s incentive to keep it clean.”
“Abuela is a wise woman.”
“Take a look at the bedroom,” Deb says. “I think you’ll like it.”
The condo has just one bedroom, which is fine with me. I don’t expect to have a lot of visitors, so I don’t need a guest room. My mom prefers a hotel to my guest room when she visits. She jokes that I don’t have room service at my place.
The master lives up to the hype, with high ceilings, full-length windows that maximize the view and space for a small office area.
Carmen goes to check out the bathroom. “Come see this shower!”
I wander into the bathroom to check out the glass shower with the intricate tile work and multiple showerheads. “Wow.”
“I think you need a PhD to work that thing.”
“Crap. I only have an MD.”
She snorts with laughter. “Only an MD. Bet you’ve never said that before.”
I pretend to give that considerable thought. “I don’t think I have.”
“Hopefully, the shower comes with instructions.”
“You approve of this place?”
“I do. Although it makes mine look rather sad in comparison.”
“Yours is great.”
She rolls her eyes. “Mine is okay. This is great.”
“You can come visit anytime you want.” I peruse the handout Deb gave me. “The building has a gym, indoor and outdoor pools, a hot tub and a spa.”
“I have a pathetic gym in my complex and laundry in my apartment.”
I laugh at the way she says that. “I’m willing to share my amenities with friends.”
“You may live to regret that offer. I love a good spa.”
I’ll file that info away for later. If she succeeds in helping me land this job, the least I’ll owe her is a day at a high-end spa.
We return to the open-concept living area, where Deb is waiting for us. “What do you think?”
“I love it,” I tell her.
“Me too,” Carmen says.
“If you’d like to make an offer, I’d be happy to write it up for you.”
“I’m sort of in a weird spot since I first reached out to you.”
“Oh?”
“I’m not yet sure I’m going to be working at Miami-Dade.”
“There was an administrative snafu.” Carmen steps up when I find myself at a loss for words. “We’re trying to work it out, but it’s apt to be a week or two before Dr. Northrup receives word that his employment is approved. Are you able to make an offer, contingent upon his job working out?”
“I could talk to the seller’s agent and see what they say. The unit has been on the market for sixty-three days, so they may welcome the interest enough to consider that caveat. I’ll reach out and let you know.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. I’ll be in touch.”
I guide Carmen out of the condo ahead of me. When we’re in the elevator, I glance at her. “Thanks for jumping in there. I didn’t know what to say to her. I made this appointment when I thought I had a job lined up.”
“I’m sure she deals with special circumstances all the time. Like she said, the place has been on the market for a while, so they’re probably willing to deal. I wouldn’t worry. If this doesn’t work out, there’re a million others just like it.”
“True, but I like this one.”
“I do, too.”
How is it possible that in two days her opinion has become so important to me? I have no idea how that happened, but it has, and I need to rein that in before it gets out of hand.
If it hasn’t already.
CHAPTER 9
CARMEN
I like being with him. I like talking to him and hearing his thoughts. I like the way he didn’t fall all over himself comforting me when I told him about the day Tony was killed. Some of the guys I’ve dated haven’t known what to say when they heard how I lost my husband, so they either said too much or not enough.