“Did you have the shower on your own?”
He nodded again.
“Did you get back here and get dressed on your own?”
At that, he nodded once more.
“Then I sure wouldn’t be too upset with that much effort on your own,” Shane said with a big smile. “I’m thrilled to know you have that much independence.”
He stared at him in surprise. “Yeah, but, I mean, I’m exhausted,” he said. “I could barely even make it back.”
“Barely is a mind-set,” Shane announced. “The thing to remember is you did make it. Now how about some breakfast?”
“I was thinking about it, but I’m pretty tired now,” he admitted.
“No problem,” Shane said. He grabbed the wheelchair, pulled it around, and said, “Let’s use this.”
He looked at it, then at Shane, and said, “I generally don’t go out in public in a wheelchair.”
“Hathaway House is not public,” he said. “This is home, so hop in.”
Shane was just one of those guys who was really hard to ignore or to argue with. The wheelchair sat in front of Keith, one of those specters of his current life that he hated, but no give was in Shane’s voice or in the look on his face. He’d already slid the wheelchair his way, and Shane reached out and grabbed Keith’s arm.
“Easy,” he said. “If you slide down, take one step forward. Then we can twist you and drop you into the seat.”
And that’s what they did. And even though Keith was tall, once he was in a wheelchair, he felt like a child. “I hate these things,” he muttered.
“Of course you do,” he said, “because, to you, it’s a backward step. What you’re forgetting is to be grateful for the fact that you have the option of a wheelchair, so you can get breakfast without collapsing halfway there.”
With Shane pushing, giving Keith zero option on direction, he was pushed out of the room, down the hallway toward the cafeteria. He looked around and said, “Aren’t many people in wheelchairs here.”
“On any given day,” Shane said, “there’ll be dozens, and it can change from morning to afternoon. If you’ve had your PT workout, and you can’t make it back, the wheelchair is an easy option.”
“Is that what happens to a lot of guys?” he asked. Because, in his experience, it hadn’t happened to him yet.
“All the time,” Shane said cheerfully. “All the time.”
“So it’ll get harder here than it’s been so far?” A startled breath escaped from Shane behind him, so Keith twisted, wincing as he did so. He stared up at the physiotherapist.
“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Shane said quietly. “And, when the time comes, you’ll remember this conversation and wish you hadn’t brought it up.”
“That bad?”
“That bad,” Shane said, and he gave him a flat stare. “We’ll tailor it to what you can do, but what you think you can do is always different than what I know you can do.”
Chapter 5
The pattern continued for the next few days. Ilse would say hi to him in the morning, if he was awake, then bring him coffee if she could. She would try to greet him at lunch, even though she was normally behind-the-scenes. Even Dennis commented on it.
“Wow, there must be something special about him that’s dragged you out of your kitchen.”
“I don’t know what it is,” she said quietly. “After I saw his leg, the hamburger that is left of it,”—she shook her head—“I don’t think I could have done what he’s done.”
Dennis nodded slowly. “A lot of guys here are like that,” he said. “I guess this is just the first time you’ve come in contact with one on a personal level.”
“I don’t think I could do it too often,” she said, staring at the long queue forming out front at the dessert and coffee station. “The fact that he’s still even functional, after so many surgeries, just blows me away. I understand the depression and the lack of vitality. I don’t even think it’s so much of a mental state for him as much as his body is still recovering from everything that’s been done to him.”
“Well, I know that you put a smile on his face,” Dennis said, “so, for that, we’re all grateful. What is it about him that gets to you?”
They kept their voices low because they were still out front, behind the cafeteria line. She leaned against the back counter with Dennis beside her, as they watched the full cafeteria eating happily as the line began dissipating around the desserts.
“I’m not sure,” she said, then shook her head. “Just something about him that hits at a different level for me.”
“Well, he is certainly an interesting new addition,” Dennis said. “He’s got grit, which is a good thing, because he’s got a long, hard journey ahead of him.”
She looked at him sharply. “Will it be as bad as the journey he’s already left behind?”
At that, he looked at her in surprise. “You know what? I’m not sure that it is,” he said. “Chances are the worst is behind him. He’ll work hard here for every inch of progress, but he will see the gains this time. The thing about all his surgeries is that he had to recover just so he could go back and get cut again. Although they might have done a really great job, the gains aren’t necessarily anything he can really see or feel because his body must still be such a mess. The next six months for him will be huge.”
“I wonder how far he can go?”
“I mentioned that to Shane a few days ago, and he said nothing was holding Keith back, now that the last of the surgeries were completed. He has a lot of work ahead of him, but there was every reason to think that he could lead a fully functioning life again after this.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” she said. “I think he’s almost stuck in that zone where he doesn’t see progress, doesn’t think there’ll be any, and doesn’t know why anybody bothers anymore.”
“Yes, I see that too,” Dennis said. “There’s very little in the way of laughter or even smiles in his world.”
“I don’t think there has been for a long time.”
“I’m glad his sister brought him here,” Dennis said. “Robin has had a lot to do with any smiles we do see.”
“But someone shouldn’t have to try to smile,” she said sadly. “Do you think his world has beaten him up so much that smiles are something he has to force out? That’s just sad.”
“You may find that just being around him will lighten him up a little bit, and he’ll have more reasons to smile. The trip here couldn’t have been easy, and the adjustments here aren’t easy either. Just knowing you are taking a few minutes to visit with him in the morning helps too, I think.”
“Does everybody know about that?” she asked with a sense of humor. “I’m not even sure why I started it, but now it feels like I can’t stop it.”
“Do you want to stop those visits with Keith?”
As always, Dennis had a zinger of a question, and he went for the jugular with it. She crossed her arms over her chest while she thought about it because a question like that deserved the time for a real answer and not just a flippant comeback. “Stop? No, I don’t think I do,” she said. “The place is so quiet in the morning. It’s fresh and feels renewed or something. It’s hard to explain, but, when I come in each morning, it feels like all things are possible. And when I stop and see that his light is on and that he’s awake, it’s just the two of us in the foggy world all around us, and something’s special about that.” She gave a quick nod. “The fact that sometimes he’s awake, and sometimes he’s not, that sometimes I remember his coffee, and sometimes I forget, keeps it changing.” She laughed. “It’s not a routine really. It’s more like just a connection that we get to make and then move on.”