“Jenna's got her hands full,” Calvin said, Jenna nodding as she wiped spitup off her shoulder. “But yes, she'll help raise little Cal if something goes wrong in life.”
“It won't!” I called out.
Darla and Cathy gave me a look I didn't understand, until suddenly, I did. Darla's father died unexpectedly in a car accident.
Bad shit happens all the time to really good people.
“Godfather isn't a legal thing. You don't have custody. You just promise to help,” Calvin continued.
Joe and I looked at each other.
“If something bad happens,” Joe said slowly, “and Darla had to legally raise Cal, Jr., then I would be with her anyway. No matter what. So yes. I would love to be his godfather. Thank you.”
Well, damn.
Asshole upstaged me.
How was I supposed to top that?
Little Cal opened his eyes, cloudy dark blue meeting mine, his hand flailing around his face. Teeny fingernails tucked into the flesh of his fingertips, so small, so soft. I moved to put my index finger in his open palm and he grasped instantly, as if I were connecting him to the world.
A diffuse joy raced through my blood, my feet suddenly more firm on the ground, seven pounds of new life staring back at me like it was enough to just look back.
Enough.
Maybe that was the secret to life, the elusive one everyone tried so hard to find. Being enough. Being present. Being here.
That's what pained Darla so much, wasn't it? Daily life here in little Cal's world wasn't going to include her.
Which meant she would never be enough to him, and he would never be enough to her.
A keening hit my gut, making me curl in, hold my breath, blink hard. I wasn't about to cry, but the emotion had nowhere to go, no words to take form to express it, no movement to expunge it from me.
It just was.
And I didn't know what it was.
“We'll visit,” I said, my voice gruffer than I wanted. “A lot. A little boy like this should know his godparents and sister. Know them well.”
Darla's hands flew to her chest, both over her heart, as Josie gave her a side hug.
“And you, Josie,” Cathy said to her niece, who turned toward her name. “We want you to be his godmother.”
Darla's brow dropped. So did Jenna's.
“Me?” Josie squeaked.
“Her?” Darla and Jenna said in unison.
“It's the right thing to do. I know no matter what, Darla and Jenna will step up. But they'll need guidance, too, Josie, and you ain't got kids. You can have a connection to this one. A special connection,” Cathy said as Josie let go of Darla and made her way to Cathy.
Alex looked like he was about to burst with emotion.
Ring!
Someone's phone started up, everyone fishing through pockets and purses to figure it out.
“Not me, for once!” Alex said, which made Josie laugh. A scattering of titters hit as the rest of us remembered he was a doctor, on call to deliver babies often.
Calvin gave everyone a guilty look and moved down the hall, answering his.
“So it's settled,” Cathy said. “Josie's the godmother. Trevor and Joe are godfathers. And the christening will be tomorrow, at – ”
Darla's mom went into a monologue of details as Joe caught my eyes, no expression other than intensity coming through.
We stared at each for a long time.
Calvin came into the room looking more like a basset hound than he already did.
“Cathy?” he said, sitting down on the couch, picking up her hand with a gentle touch that made me smile. My eyes jumped from the baby to his parents, then back to him.
He was staring at me, one eye drifting a little to the left, but Darla had told me that's normal. Babies do hard work their first few days out in the real world. Aligning all the muscles is a big project.
“Yeah?”
“That was Pastor Johns. He can't do the christening tomorrow. Two of his cows went into labor one after the other and one of them sat on his leg. He's in the hospital.”
“What?” Cathy sounded like she was about to burst into tears.
“That beats 'the dog ate my homework,'” Joe muttered.
“He can do it in a few weeks,” Calvin assured her, but the damage was done.
“Darla and Trevor and Joe won't be here in a few weeks! And Josie and Alex!” Mama began to cry.
Darla looked at Josie. She nodded imperceptibly.
“Sure we can, Mama,” Darla said, bending before her. “Whenever you want little Calvin McMasterson Jr. to be christened, we'll come back. It's only a plane ride or a ten hour car drive. Boston ain't the moon, no matter how often you try to guilt me into thinking it is.”
Marlene was uncharacteristically quiet, but left the room. Maybe it was too much emotion for her. Mike continued eating, and Jenna fed her two year old some eggs while breastfeeding her six week old at the same time.
I looked at baby Cal. Imagined him attached to my nipple.
Yeoch.
Joe made his way to me, half-eaten plate in hand, and murmured, “You're serious about coming back here a lot?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Because I was thinking the same thing.”
“You're going soft, Ross.”
“If I am, it's for all the right reasons. But I'm still tougher than you.”
“Well, then, that's settled,” Calvin said as Marlene returned, handing Cathy a box of tissues. “We'll have the christening in a few weeks? Maybe a month?”
“Can we combine it with fourth of July?” Cathy asked, brightening. “You've never all been here for that.”
Darla came over to me, her hand going to my ass. “And fireworks are legal here,” she said with a smirk. “Don’t have to sneak up to New Hampshire to buy ’em and act like a criminal setting them off in Massachusetts.”
“If we're not doing the christening on this trip, that means you never even needed that high heel in the closet!” I muttered.
“Apparently you did, though,” Joe cracked.
“You guys serious about coming back here a lot more?” she asked, her other hand going around Joe's waist, out of my sight but probably on his ass, too.
“Of course.”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you,” she said, voice choked with emotion. “He's my baby brother and I need him. Didn't know I needed him until he appeared out of nowhere and made my entire world come to a grinding halt, but I did. I do.”
Joe kissed her cheek.
“You just described what happened to the three of us when you found me hitchhiking all those years ago,” I said.
Her eyes caught mine.
“I sure did. And thank God.”
Chapter 21
Darla
Where do you go at five o'clock in the middle of the day in Peters, Ohio, after you've stuffed yourself silly on the longest brunch in the history of brunches, your arms and heart full of tiny newborn cuddling, your rented house a wonderful reminder of all the family you've got, and showing their best selves (other than my closet egghumper boyfriend)?
To Jerry's, of course.
Consensus was easy: we'd forgotten to buy alcohol, and it was open mic night. The guys had their instruments, shipped by Liam, and they were itching to practice some more.