Upstairs, I don’t bother changing out of my dress, but I do switch my heels for boots and throw a long cashmere wrap around my shoulders. It’s not really warm enough for the chill that settles in from the mountains overnight, but anything is better than feeling this numbness in my bones.
I don’t eat. I don’t want food—I want my daddy back, but if wishes were horses, right? I grab a bottle of my father’s whiskey and head outside, walking the stables and then the grounds for what feels like hours. Eventually, the hurt lessens, and I smile as I bring the whiskey bottle to my lips and deem myself well and truly drunk.
I cut through the pastures toward the bed-and-breakfast. I could lie to myself and say my feet carry me, but I know exactly where I’m headed. Because when I feel this way, there’s only one other person on this earth I want. I take another long pull from the whiskey—it burns my throat all the way down and I raise the bottle heavenward. “I miss you like hell, Daddy.”
“Lemon?”
I sniff and turn. Colt is standing behind me. Of course he is. He’s already changed out of his funeral clothes and is wearing faded jeans and a Henley. Every damn muscle can be seen through the thin shirt, and I don’t mind that he’s catching me looking.
His face is stern as he rolls his gaze over me, finally settling on the whiskey that I try to hide behind my back. “What are you doin’ out here?”
“Lookin’ for trouble.” I bite my lip and poke my finger at his chest, trailing my hand over hard, warm muscle that’s practically begging to be touched. “You seen anyone who fits that description?”
He leans forward and takes the bottle from me. I try to snatch it back, but settle instead for pouting and not falling over.
“You never could handle your whiskey.”
“I handle my whiskey just fine. It’s everyone else who’s the problem.”
“Right.” He’s stone-faced as he looks me over from head to toe and takes my hand.
I stare at his rough fingers in mine and sadness slams into me, clutching at my throat, squeezing my heart until it hurts.
“Jesus. Did you even eat today? Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“To my place.”
“I don’t think so. Nothing good ever came of you and me being alone.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Lemon. I’m not taking you back to the ranch house because your Mama don’t need to see you like this.”
I puff out my cheeks, blowing my bangs out of my eyes. “Like what, drunk and grieving?”
“That what you’re callin’ it?”
I yank my hand from his and stop dead in my tracks. “How dare you. My father was just laid to rest.”
“Yeah, and all your worst demons are coming out to play. I don’t think your family needs to see that side of you right now.”
“That side of me? What the hell does that mean?” I scowl. “And how would you know what they need?”
“Goddamn it, woman. You haven’t changed any. You’re still an obnoxious drunk.”
I deepen my scowl and throw in a pout for good measure. “And you’re still annoying.”
Colt raises a brow. “Annoying?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Okay, that’s it.” He bends at the waist and scoops me up and over his shoulder. My stomach protests with the sudden lack of the-right-way-up-ed-ness.
“Put me down!”
“Nope.” He slaps my ass and I squeal and pound my fists against his back. Colt climbs the stairs to his cabin and opens the door. I buck and kick and he tosses me on the bed as if I weigh nothing. I’m on my feet as soon as the room stops spinning, but Colt blocks my path, his back pressed firmly against the door.
“You best get comfortable, Lemonade, because you ain’t goin’ nowhere until you sober up.”
“You can’t hold me here. That’s called kidnapping.”
“Call it what you want, darlin’. You and me are gonna be spending a long night together.”
I cross my arms and sit on the edge of the bed, eyeing the whiskey bottle like a lover he’s keeping me from. “When did you become so un-fun?”
“I don’t know, Lemon. Maybe it was around the time my girlfriend walked out on me.”
I sigh and lie back on the bed, staring up at the peeling paint on the ceiling. “It never would have worked with us.”
“Oh, really?” He smirks and folds himself into a chair, still close enough to the door to keep me from sneaking by. “Why is that?”
“Because I was dying to get out, and you were determined to stay.”
“How the hell would you know? You never even discussed leavin’ with me. I just woke up and you were gone.”
“I couldn’t stay here, Colt. I didn’t want their pity. All those empty words, the judgement, the way they looked at me like I was something that might break.”
“No one was lookin’ at you like that, Lemon.”
“You looked at me like that,” I accuse and instantly regret it. A quiet sob tears free of my chest and I roll onto my side and close my eyes. The bed smells like him, like wilderness and sage. I press my nose to the coverlet and breathe him in because I can’t say these things to his face. “I loved you. I was so madly in love with you, I thought it might kill me.”
He laughs, but it cuts bone deep. “The feeling was mutual.”
“You said was,” I murmur as sleep beckons to me like a gentle lover. “You don’t love me anymore, but seeing you again makes it all so clear. My heart still beats for you, Colt. No matter how much I wish it wouldn’t.”
CHAPTER TEN
Colt
“What did you say?” I whisper into the quiet cabin, though I know I’m never getting an answer to that question.
Lemon’s breathing deepens and she rolls toward me. She’s a different person than the Lemon I knew from twelve years ago. Time has aged her. Lemon’s face is still just as gorgeous as it ever was, maybe more so with the faint laugh lines bracketing her luscious mouth. Her body is tighter now too, hips a little wider, her ass rounder, and her tits are much more than the handful I used to cup, but inside, she’s still the fiery Lemon I loved. New York didn’t dull that. If anything, it made her even more passionate. I stare at her sleeping form and debate my choices. I could throw her over my shoulder and walk her back to the ranch, but she’s just as likely to make a ruckus and wake everyone up, so I shoot a text to West.
Me: Don’t kill me, but your sister’s spending the night.
West doesn’t bother to reply. Instead, he calls, and I head into the bathroom and answer it on a whisper, “Hello?”
“What the fuck is my sister doing in your bed?”
“Come on now, West. You really think I’m gonna go there again? She was drunk and wandering around near the B and B. I thought it was safer to bring her back here than return her to the ranch house and wake your mama.”
West sighs into the receiver. “That’s a good point, I guess.”
“She drank a lot.”
“Wine?”