She had no one to meet her, unlike the other passengers sharing greetings with family and friends who put their luggage in the trunks of their cars and drove away to their respective homes. After staying in the air-conditioned train for so long, her head ached and her eyes and the inside of her nose were dry. The air here was thicker, and she felt rank and worn out since she hadn’t showered and had barely slept. She was still too nervous, or perhaps it was the thrill of being on her own that made her jittery.
The soft summer breeze brushed her face that felt like it was going to crack into a thousand pieces. Her makeup had begun to flake off, and her fingers were disgusting, with her nails bitten to the quick. She had to find a place to spend a few nights, take a nice long shower, and sleep undisturbed before she decided on her next move.
She walked down the stairs where, at the bottom, the bathrooms awaited her. Noticing no one around, she poked her head inside the women’s room. The room was empty, with three stalls and two sinks. She went in the first stall and quickly changed. Gone was her masculine wear, replaced with a pair of black capris and a short-sleeved yellow T-shirt. When she exited the stall, she used one of the bath towels she’d snatched back at the hotel, and used soap to wash the grime from her face and hands. The water turned murky brown as her makeup fell off her face and down the drain. She rubbed her face almost raw and even went so far as to stick her head under the water to cool off.
Afterward, she took out her contacts and viewed her reflection in the mirror. Splotches of red covered her face and throat, but she hadn’t done any permanent damage. The lasting marks were the scars she had on the right side of her head and a fading black-and-blue near the corner of her mouth, opposite her birthmark. Her lip wasn’t swollen any longer, and when she poked her stomach, it didn’t sting.
“Aren’t you one sexy bi-otch, Sharon?” she tested her new name and laughed as she thrust out her chest, her nipples poking through as they tended to do at any moment ever since she hit puberty.
The door swung open and a woman came in with a toddler. She quickly left then with her suitcase.
* * * *
From the bulletin board covered in fliers, she found an advertisement for a small motel within walking distance. Other than a few cars driving by, no one was on the street and the majority of the businesses were closed. But then again, it wasn’t a complete surprise since it was almost midnight.
She came upon the quaint one-story ranch-style motel and walked on the gravel parking lot, her eyes drooping and her jaw cracking from a yawn as she noticed the vacancy sign hanging over the front door. She entered, and a bell rang overhead. An older man with a big bushy white beard and a polo shirt with the motel’s name on his right breastbone sat behind the front desk.
“Well, hello there, little lady. How may I help you?”
She covered her mouth as she yawned again. “Sorry. I’ve been on a train for a few days. Would you have a room available?”
The man didn’t even look at the computer to see if he had a room. “For you, I have the perfect room. How many nights will you be staying?”
“A week, at least,” she specified.
“Here on vacation?” The man typed on the computer keyboard.
“I’m visiting friends.” She pulled out a brown leather wallet. “If it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, I’d like to pay in cash.”
The man’s eyebrows matching his beard rose in surprise. She braced for the questions at her odd request.
“It’s been a while since someone has wanted to pay with cash, but I don’t see it being a problem. I’ll need to see identification and a credit card for a deposit in case you do charge anything. But don’t worry, we won’t charge the room to the card,” he added quickly.
She took out her new license and credit card, the only one she had connected to her bank account. She shifted from one leg to the other as the man took both cards and entered the information in the computer. After what felt like an hour, he handed back both cards and the hotel card key.
“Your room is 118, right smack in the middle, facing the parking lot. We have a continental breakfast in the morning from seven to ten, and the pool is around back. When you finally leave us, you can pay your bill. Do you need help with your luggage?”
“No, thanks. I got it covered. Have a good night.” She waved as she left.
She felt the man staring at her as she left, but she didn’t turn around. When she got in her room, she glanced over her shoulder, making certain no one saw her. She locked the door and dragged the wooden table near the window in front of it. She closed the drapes without bothering to turn on the light.
The bed looked inviting, and the slight scent of roses filled the room as she toed off her sneakers and capris and unhooked her bra. In her white cotton briefs and T-shirt, she pulled down the covers, sliding under them. The minute she closed her eyes, she fell asleep.
* * * *
There was no reason for her to get out of bed. Her body wouldn’t move even though she should. She wanted to remain huddled under the covers, so cozy, as the air in the room was perfect enough for her to be comfortable. She’d always loved that feeling of being covered in a sheet or blankets with the air on, even during the hottest days of summer. But Gen never let her sleep in.
Rolling on her back, she wiped her eyes, trying to erase her wife, or rather her former wife, from her head. She’d been doing so well not thinking of her, but thoughts of Gen snuck up on her. Her thighs clenched as she thought back to the last time she’d been with Gen in bed. Not only did her head feel like a balloon and her eyes gritty from too much sleep, but she was horny. She’d been depriving her body the release she needed for days. Going from having sex every day, sometimes twice a day, to none at all was wreaking havoc on her, physically and mentally.
Gen, I miss you so much… No! I can’t go there…wanting her. She’s poison.
Loud banging and muted conversation outside her room made her sit up. The room spun as she brought it in focus. The light from the slit in the drapes and underneath the door allowed her to see. At least she’d had the presence of mind to hang the Do Not Disturb sign outside her door.
As much as she wanted to stay in her room and sleep, she needed to get up. First a shower, then she’d find something to eat on her way to check her balance in her bank account. Then—she had no clue. Maybe she’d investigate the town, and, if she didn’t freak out with her paranoia, she’d see if there were any apartments or houses she could rent.
A home. Her own to furnish the way she wanted and laze around in all day if she longed to, even naked, with no worry of someone telling her no, or expecting her to act a certain way in the eyes of the help.
Pushing aside the covers, she stretched her arms high above her head, cracking her neck from side to side. Today was her day to do whatever she’d like. Today stood for freedom.
* * * *