“Yeah, that’s not helping things. You ready to spill it yet?” She’s asked me at least twice a day what’s eating at me since it all went south, but I just haven’t felt ready to talk about it. Sawyer’s the only person I’ve ever felt comfortable opening up to without worry of judgement. He always knows the right thing to say, even if it’s not what I want to hear sometimes.
Luckily, we’ve been extra busy in the office these past couple of weeks or Audra might’ve pestered even me more. “It’s…complicated.”
Audra laughs seconds before her desk phone rings. Hand on the receiver, she looks straight at me. “Welcome to life, Blaire.”
I wait while she finishes the phone call, admiring how witty and funny she can be while still maintaining a high sense of professionalism. We’re here to help soldiers and their families get placed into homes while they’re stationed on this base. But we’ve seen and heard it all. Audra’s entertaining sarcasm gets me through the days sometimes.
“It’s obviously about a guy.”
“How—”
“I may be a couple years younger than you, but I’m not naïve. What’s his name?”
“Sawyer.”
“Oh, that is a nice name.” She reaches for the door, flipping a we’ll be back in 15 minutes sign on the front of it before it closes. “Now tell me everything.”
I don’t mean to, but the whole story sort of spills out of me. Trickling at first, and by the end of it, it’s more like a dam broke.
Audra hands me a tissue. “Sweetie, you’re in love with him. What’s holding you back?”
“Wh—what if he leaves me for someone else?” It’s happened to me so many times I’ve lost count. Sawyer could have anyone he wants. “What if he decides a month from now, six months from now, or in a year that I don’t do it for him anymore? I just want our friendship back. I want that person I can call in the middle of the night just to talk about nothing.”
“And you don’t want the added benefit of steamy hot sex?”
The memories of our entangled bodies, the way his head looked between my legs, how he felt inside me… they’ve been playing on a nonstop loop. If I’m being honest, it was the best sex of my life. “The thought of losing all that…”
“You’ve been friends for ten years,” Audra reminds me. “Cut the guy some slack. There’s a reason it hasn’t worked out with anyone else you know. For both of you.” Grabbing her purse, Audra pats me on the shoulder. “Let’s grab some lunch. I need to know more about these midnight milkshakes. I think I have an idea.”
SAWYER
The field exercise was a welcomed distraction, but now that it’s over, I’m left in my empty house. My TA-50 is all cleaned and put away and my uniforms are all laundered. Thanks to Blaire, there’s nothing else to do. I refuse to wash the sheets and lose that last lingering trace of lavender.
I’m restless, and I don’t like it.
Sleeping with Blair…maybe not the wisest thing I’ve ever done considering the timing. But I don’t regret it. My entire life changed with that night we spent together. I know now that Blaire is my soulmate in every meaning of the word. She’s the woman I’m meant to be with.
I’ve been a jerk and ignored her sparce text messages. I recognized them for what they are: her attempts to return back to the way things were before I was inside of her.
But I can’t go back to being just friends.
Dammit, the urge to text her, call her, it’s just as natural an urge as breathing. Fed up with my inability to stop checking my phone, I walk it to the kitchen and plug it into a charger. Being a platoon sergeant, I can’t just shut it off. But I can stop looking at it every five seconds.
I don’t even make it back to the couch when I hear a text notification.
Blaire: Midnight milkshakes @ Dani’s?
Another text trying to rewind time. I just … I can’t.
Blaire: I’m not wearing any panties.
Okay, that has my attention. My heart speeds up like a motor if my foot slipped and slammed on the gas pedal. We’ve always had an open friendship, but Blaire’s delicates were never part of the equation. I want to believe this is the sign I’ve been waiting for. The one that promises Blaire is ready to go all in with me.
My fingers hesitate over my phone keyboard as my mind searches for a reply. Not talking to Blaire in two weeks has made me question everything I want to say and how I want to say it.
Blaire: If you don’t get your ass here in ten minutes, I’m going to start playing with myself under the table. ;)
I yank my keys off the kitchen counter so fast they slide halfway across the living room. I scoop them up and run to my truck. The short drive feels agonizingly long. The frequent red lights make me impatient, but they also give me moments to doubt Blaire’s intentions.
Inside Dani’s Diner, I find Blaire in a corner booth we’ve already dubbed our own in the short time I’ve been stationed here. I drop into the booth beside her, inviting that lovely lavender cloud to surround me. I want to inhale that scent every day for the rest of my life.
“Took you long enough slow poke.”
My gaze can’t stay off her lips. Her kisses are my kryptonite. But before I surrender to the power she has over me, I have to know one thing. “This isn’t some friends with benefits bullshit, is it?” My dick doesn’t seem to mind that scenario, but my heart can’t take that arrangement.
“No, Sawyer. I’m sorry for shutting you out. I was so confused. I never meant to hurt you. I love you.”
My racing heart comes to a screeching halt at those precious words escaping her lips. “Say that again.”
“I love you, Sawyer. You’re my best friend. The only man I want in my life in every way. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it all out. Will you forgive me?”
“I’ll do better than that.” I cup her cheek and draw her in for a deep kiss, releasing every pent-up emotion I’ve carried with me these past two weeks. My back hides her from someone who passes by the table on the way to the restroom as I slide my hand up her leg. She’s wearing a skirt. “Were you telling me the truth?” I ask.
“Guess you’ll just have to check and see.”
I wedge my hand between her legs and slide to home. Her wet pussy meets my fingertips. “I can’t wait to explore this side of you, hon.” I wiggle my finger against her swollen nub, earning a sexy gasp from her. “You’re mine now.” I slip a finger inside her channel and her eyes fall closed. “I’ll never leave you, and I’ll never share you.” I thrust my finger all the way in. “I want it all with you. I love you Blaire. I’ve loved you since the day I met you, I just didn’t know that until now.”
I pull my finger out and lock eye contact with her as I suck her juices from it. “We better order those milkshakes now, because I’m eager to get you in my bed and show you just how much I’ve missed you.”