“And how’re you struggling, hon?”
Meg took in a deep breath and blew it out. “A lot of crying, depression, no motivation. And sometimes I don’t feel… connected… to my baby. Or my boyfriend.”
“That must be hard,” Tammy said.
“Duh,” the woman beside her whispered.
“Pardon?” Tammy said to the woman beside Meg.
“Oh, nothing,” she said, faking a smile and waving her hand. Meg really liked this chick, whoever she was.
“Have you talked to your doctor?”
“Yes. She has me on some hormone stuff, but I don’t think it’s working. Next stop is medication.”
Tammy nodded and smiled. “Well, there’s no shame in taking medication if you need it. Now, let’s move to you.” She pointed at the woman beside Meg.
The woman sighed, like she was being put out to be there in the first place. “Okay, well, I’m Darcy. Twenty-three years old. Married. Four month old baby boy named Hatcher.”
“And your struggles?”
“Well, my main struggle seems to be judgmental people who think there’s something wrong with a woman having emotions after the birth of a baby.”
“Excuse me?”
“My mother and husband basically forced me to come to this meeting because they say my personality has changed since becoming a mother. Oh, I’m sorry, but I went from being up all night dancing and having a good time with friends to being up all night wiping poop off a baby’s butt and putting cream on my cracked nipples. Pardon me for taking some time to grieve my old life and learn the ropes of my new one.”
Everyone sat in stunned silence. For the first time, Meg felt like someone just spoke exactly what she was feeling.
“You know, everyone focuses on the baby once its born, but nobody seems to really give the mother some grace and some space. We’re automatically labeled crazy or depressed, when maybe we just need some time to adjust. Maybe we aren’t meant to be the same person we were before.”
Tammy smiled. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“Well, I’ve had a lot of time on my hands, what with being up all night long crying and so forth.”
Again, the room fell silent. Awkward didn’t even begin to cover it.
“Okay, then, why don’t we continue going around the room…” Tammy said, diverting her attention away from Darcy.
When the meeting was finally over an hour later, most of the women went straight to their cars. Meg walked over to the snack table and wrapped the last doughnut in a napkin, dropping it into her large tote bag before turning toward the door.
“Well, that was a total waste of time,” Darcy said from behind her.
“You think so?”
Darcy wasn’t what one would describe as a typical looking mother. She wore black, ripped jeans, a white band tee and high top white sneakers that looked like they stepped right out of the 90’s. She looked more like an angry teenager than a new mom.
“Did you get any useful information out of that whine session?”
Meg shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, it feels good to know other women know how I’m feeling. It made me feel less alone, I guess.”
“Well, all it did was make me want to remove my ears and throw them in the ocean.” She walked past Meg and toward the door, grabbing the last cupcake on the table.
“Hey?” Meg called to her.
“Yeah?”
“Do you like pound cake?”
“Wow, this place looks like Gone With The Wind threw up,” Darcy said as they walked into Hotcakes. Meg didn’t know why she’d chosen to bring her new acquaintance into her grandmother’s bakery, but it was too late to go back now.
“My grandmother just opened this place.”
“Oh. Sorry,” Darcy said, softly.
“It is a little bit… much… but we’re younger so maybe we just have better taste,” Meg said, with a laugh.
“Yeah.”
“There’s my darlin’ granddaughter!” SuAnn said, running out from behind the counter and hugging Meg. She normally wasn’t this touchy feely, but her grandmother would do anything for the benefit of the crowd watching her. And right now she had a whole bakery full of people who needed to believe she was a doting grandmother full of love and cuddles.
“Hey, Grandma,” Meg said. “This is my new friend, Darcy.”
SuAnn eyed her carefully, looking her up and down. Meg knew she was internally criticizing Darcy’s attire, but she hoped her grandmother would keep her mouth shut, for once.
“Nice to meet you, Darcy,” SuAnn said, shaking her hand and then wiping it on her apron like Darcy had a communicable disease or something.
“You too. Nice little place you have here.”
“Thank you. Have you been to a bakery before, dear?”
Darcy looked at Meg quizzically and then back at SuAnn. “Hasn’t everyone?”
Meg cleared her throat. “Grandma, could we get a couple of pieces of poundcake?”
SuAnn looked at Darcy for a moment longer than necessary. “Of course. Let me get that for you. Just find a table.”
Meg led Darcy over to a table, and they sat down.
“Boy, she’s something else,” Darcy said.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“So, are you planning to go back to those meetings?”
“Aren’t you?”
Darcy sighed. “I don’t know. My mother and husband are going to drive me batty if I don’t, but it just wasn’t my jam, ya know?”
SuAnn walked to the table and set two pieces of poundcake in front of them, shooting a smile at Darcy. “Enjoy, ladies.”
“Thanks, Grandma.”
As Meg watched her grandmother walk back behind the counter, she second guessed her choice to go there. SuAnn had an uncontrollable mouth and absolutely no filter between her brain and her lips.
“So, are you from around here?” Meg asked.
“Nah. We just moved here from NYC, actually.”
“How in the world did you end up in Seagrove?”
“Long story, but basically my husband got transferred with his concrete paving company. And now, here we are, right in the heart of podunkville. No offense.”
“None taken. I’m not from here originally, either. I grew up in Atlanta.”
“And how did you end up here?”
“Parents divorced, mother moved here. I was in Paris at university. Got pregnant at nineteen, came home and kept the secret. You know, the typical story,” Meg said with a laugh.
“Wow. You’ve got a great backstory compared to mine. All I did was get married and have a kid.”
Meg took another bite of poundcake. “Well, we have one thing in common, I guess.”
“PPD?”
“Yep.”
Darcy sighed. “I guess I’m going to have to go back to the meetings.”
Meg nodded. “Probably a good idea. But, at least we found each other. I don’t have any friends in town.”
“Me either,” Darcy said, smiling slightly. “I guess I do now.”
Janine picked at her sandwich. Today hadn’t been the best. William had been gone for two weeks now, and she missed him all day, every day. Her hand had lingered over the keypad on her phone so many times as she thought about whether she should text him or not. But, her pride reeled her back in each and every time.