I pushed against them, torn between wanting to run in, to do something, and terrified of the flames.
Neighbors had begun to crowd around us, and someone brought a hose from the adjoining building. There wasn’t enough water pressure to make much difference at the café but it would keep the ground surrounding the nearby buildings wet enough to hopefully avoid spreading.
I saw a shadow coming through the flames and jerked away from Felix, running to the door as Axel jumped down what was left of the stairs, covered in a wet blanket and carrying my mother. My father landed behind them and I hurried to help them get outside.
We were immediately surrounded, people bringing blankets, water, and food. Everyone had questions and was talking a mile a minute. It took forever before the town’s one fire truck arrived, and by that time, the café was completely engulfed in flames. I couldn’t watch anymore and sank down on the sidewalk across the street, along with my parents and many of our neighbors, as our family’s hundred-year-old legacy burned. There were no words for what was happening, because there would be no coming back from this, and everyone knew it. We’d just lost everything and it was most likely my fault. If I hadn’t called Xander, the situation wouldn’t have escalated and this wouldn’t have happened. I’d saved Kostya’s life, but at what price?
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep the guilt at bay. I’d done the only thing I’d been able to do at the time, but if this was the result, I might never forgive myself. Our entire lives were wrapped up in that building. It was where we lived, worked and survived the winters. Without it, we literally had nothing.
What had I done to my family?
“It’s going to be okay,” Mama said to me, though her eyes were misty.
“Do you know what happened?” I asked her, trying to distract myself from impending tears.
She shook her head. “We were in bed for the night. Axel came up the stairs, calling to us, telling us there was trouble. We pulled on clothes and were just about to go downstairs when we heard the explosion. Axel wet the blankets so we could cover ourselves as we ran through the flames. If not for him…” Her voice trailed off.
I reached out to hug her. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“I’m glad you and your brother weren’t here.”
Papa hadn’t said a word and I glanced at him worriedly, but my mother gently shook her head, indicating I should leave him alone.
“How are you doing?” Axel moved to sit beside us and I glanced over at him.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“They sent someone to the hospital to go after Kostya, but Sandor handled it, so you don’t have to worry about him.”
“That’s good,” I said. “Does Kostya know what happened?”
“I don’t know what Sandor has told him.”
“This is a nightmare,” I whispered, keeping my voice down so my parents couldn’t hear. “I don’t know what we’ll do.”
“We’re going to figure it out,” he said softly. “Sandor’s on top of it.”
“There’s nothing he can do. The building was ours, both our home and our business. We can’t afford to buy another café or to rent a place to live or anything else.”
“The king isn’t going to let anything happen to you,” he said gently. “You’ll see.”
“Come.” Mama had stood up and was motioning to me. “We’re going to sleep at Mrs. Freela’s.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” I replied softly. “I’m going to go sit with Kostya.”
“I’ll drive you,” Axel said.
“I think I’ll walk,” I said. “It’s just a few kilometers and I need the fresh air.”
“I don’t think it’s safe for you to be by yourself,” he said, meeting my eyes. “Not with the Brat roaming the streets.”
“You can walk with me then.”
“We’ll see you at the hospital in the morning,” Mama said. “Try to rest.”
“I’ll be fine, Mama.” Part of me wanted to be with my parents, but the rest of me desperately wanted to get away from them. I was raw and angry, frustrated and sad, and my thoughts swirled with a dozen emotions that had begun to overwhelm me.
“You okay?” Axel asked as we walked down the street.
“I guess it depends on your definition of okay. My home and everything I own just burned in a fire, but you saved my parents, something I’ll be eternally grateful for.”
“These Bojovnik Brat guys have become a serious pain in my ass,” he grunted. “If it wasn’t for the wedding coming up, we’d have a full team up here handling this, but there’s too much going on at the palace to spare that many guys right now.”
“I understand.”
“I’m really sorry this is happening to you and your family,” he said, a look of genuine regret in his eyes.
“I’m used to it. Not this extreme, of course, but this is just more shit on an already huge pile of shit that represents my life. In the last ten years, our café has been flooded, we’ve been robbed more times than I can remember, Kostya almost died from an infection he got working in the kitchen… I could go on and on. Life has never been easy. My mother has always told me, us, that life could be much worse, that we could be homeless or sick or some other horrible thing.” I stopped walking and turned to face him, hands on my hips. “And I’m so fucking sick of it. So sick of pretending that this is enough, that it’s okay to live this way.”
Before he could answer, I started walking again, going towards the river instead of the hospital. He hadn’t said a word yet, but Axel followed me, picking up his pace to match mine. I was on a roll, though, letting out years of pent-up resentment and frustration, venting out loud.
“You know my friend, the one who lives in Florida, that I was going to visit? You know how she wound up there? She was supposed to marry Felix, one of the guys sitting with us outside the café just now. They’d been together for years, but then one of those men from the Brat came, decided he wanted her. He offered her father a lot of money, and the idiot said yes. Nicola was furious, tried everything to get out of it, but in the end, there was guilt. The same guilt I live with—the harm that would come to her family, what they could do with that money.
“So we all went to Turkey to buy fabric for a wedding dress, for her trousseau, so to speak. She and I had a plan. She had her passport and I gave her all the money I had. The plan was for her to get on a flight to Greece. She has distant relatives there. Instead, while we were there, she met this nice American soldier named Eddie. He was sweet, a little shy and awkward, but totally in love with her from the moment they met. And there was her way out. Out of a marriage she didn’t want, out of Limaj, out of this life. So she took it.”
“I don’t understand,” Axel said finally, thumbs in his belt loops as he walked. “She went from one unknown to another. What if he turned out to be an asshole?”
“I don’t know,” I said quietly. “But in the end, she fell deeply in love with her husband and she’s happy now, with a new baby and a new life. When her father essentially sold her, something inside of her snapped. She followed her heart and got the hell out of here.” I stopped abruptly and turned to him. “And you know what pisses me off the most, Axel?”