Elen looked sad. “Even Xander and me? He thinks of you like a little sister—he’ll be upset if you cut him out of your life.”
“You and Xander will always be my friends, and I’ll let you know where I end up, but I’ve been trying to figure out what I would do once I proved my innocence. I may need a recommendation so I can get a job in Voda.”
“Of course.” Elen nodded. “Anything you need. I’m happy to help you find a place to live or—”
“It’s okay. I’ll figure it out. I’ll stay at the inn with my parents for a bit, until I can make a plan, but I need to start fresh somewhere.”
“Solange, you don’t have to go,” Elen said softly, squeezing my hand. “Nothing about this was personal—it was national security. The information in that database was crucial to the safety of all the kids that will be attending the school, not to mention Luke.”
“I know.”
Elen paused. “And what about Axel? Aren’t you even going to talk to him?”
“I don’t think there’s anything to say. I’m emotionally overwhelmed and sad and disappointed. In my brother, in Axel, in all of you here at the palace who were supposed to be my friends, and even myself. Until I get past these feelings, I have nothing to say to anyone. Thank Xander for believing in me, will you?” I got to my feet. “Is there someone who can drive me to the inn?”
“Are you sure you just want to run away?” Elen asked.
“I like to run away,” Elena chirped, her face covered in frosting.
Elen absently got up to wipe her and I smiled.
“I’m not running. I’m just going.” I reached out to hug her. “Is there someone to give me a ride…home?”
Her lips thinned in what was probably disapproval, but she nodded. “Let me make a call.”
Twenty minutes later I was back with my parents. They’d heard from Kostya, who’d told them Sandor was going to put him in protective custody until they were sure he was safe. Sandor was also having an undercover policeman patrol the inn, just in case the Brat made another move on me, but he’d promised it was being taken care of. Personally, I wasn’t worried about it. I was leaving soon, which would hopefully keep my parents out of the Brat’s crosshairs, though I had a feeling Sandor would handle this as efficiently as he’d handled the situation when he’d thought I was a traitor.
I helped my mother serve dinner and clean up the kitchen and then went up to my room. I stood under the shower for a long time, until the hot water ran out and my skin was a little pruny. I wrapped my hair in a towel and pulled on a bathrobe, sitting on the edge of the bed and opening my laptop. Elen had given it back to me on my way out and I was grateful because it would allow me to start job hunting. Voda was my first choice, because the weather was more temperate, but I might be able to find something in Ferdinbrag.
Most of the jobs available were nanny positions, and I wasn’t too keen on that. I could work in a shop as a sales person, but that wouldn’t pay much, and it certainly didn’t have any opportunities to work with computers. That might be a blessing, though, because computers would always remind me of Logan.
Sweet, funny Logan.
He’d died protecting me.
I’d been too distracted by my impending imprisonment to truly mourn him, but now I would. I’d help around here, which didn’t require a lot of time since Erik had been extremely generous in hiring a staff for my parents, so I’d have plenty of time to myself. Once I’d had a little while to grieve, and found a way to stop missing Axel, I’d take back control of my life and put all this behind me. Mama had put aside some money—I didn’t know where she got it and didn’t care at this point—and she’d told me I could take it to start over when I decided where I was going.
Mama knocked on my door and I sighed. “I’m going to sleep, Mama. Can we talk tomorrow?”
“I was hoping we could talk tonight.” The door opened and Axel stepped inside.
40
Axel
She didn’t look happy to see me and I hated the distance in her eyes. This was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever done outside of war, and I had a sinking feeling she wasn’t going to be easy to win over.
“You shouldn’t have come,” she said, pulling her robe a little tighter around her. As if I hadn’t already seen everything.
“I couldn’t leave things the way they were,” I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets because I didn’t know what else to do with them. I longed to touch her but that didn’t seem like the right move.
“I understand why you did what you did,” she said quietly. “You took an oath. I wouldn’t expect anything less in a Royal Protector.”
“But?” I knew there was a but coming.
“But that’s separate from…us. From what we had.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. Everything happened so fast… Logan was dead and it hit me right in the gut. When they said it was because of something you’d done, I didn’t know how to process that.”
“Maybe the way Xander did?” she shot back, her eyes finally meeting mine. “Telling me he believed in me and would do whatever he could to help me?”
I swallowed.
Fuck, she was right.
I was such an asshole.
“You’re right,” I said, staring into her blazing blue eyes. Damn, she was gorgeous when she was mad. Too bad she was mad at me.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Your job is important.”
“You’re important.”
“Apparently, not important enough.”
“That’s not true. I screwed up, Solange, but that doesn’t change how I feel or what we had together.”
“What we had wasn’t real,” she said. “I was in a tough place emotionally when we met, and of course the romance of you being my first lover. But it was burning itself out anyway, so while the drama of Logan’s death and me being accused of treason was a little over-the-top, this was inevitable. You’d already said you weren’t the type to settle down and eventually I’ll want a home and babies. You don’t have to feel guilty. It was a lovely adventure for me, dating a Royal Protector, meeting the royal family and living in the palace for a while. It’s simply time for me to return to my real life.” She got to her feet and put a soft hand on my bicep. “And you should go back to yours.”
“Without you, my life will never be the same.”
“Of course it will. You’ll see. I need to dry my hair. Can you let yourself out?”
“Solange, I don’t think—”
“Please? This is difficult for me. You’re the only man I’ve ever been with, the only man I’ve ever dated. I’m trying to be mature, so meet me halfway, won’t you?” She turned and walked into her bathroom, shutting the door behind her, and I didn’t know what to do.
Was she right? Had I meant it when I’d told her I wasn’t the type to settle down? Hadn’t that been before I’d fallen in love with her? She’d asked me to go, though, and I had a feeling there would be no changing her mind tonight. She obviously needed time and maybe I did too.